just sharing my experience....

[rekha]

hi all,
I am a new mummy to a 4 week old baby girl..and she is absolutely gorgeous!
I just thought I will share my feelings with other new mums out there.....
for the first 2 or 3 weeks i was so worried and always on edge as if something would happen or something that I am doing might not be right for her. Plus there was all those reading material that we got given in terms of how to treat your baby. Our baby didnt like to sleep in the moses basket...infact she wouldnt sleep on her own at all. And as I was breastfeeding...uptill now it seemed as though I am feeding her all the time and she would start crying the minute I left her. This made me think I am not looking after her properly.
I was told I shouldnt let the baby sleep with me as it can be very dangerous so everytime use to force her to go in the basket and she use to cry so much. Then decided that actually I will let her sleep with me as I had read on the net that its actually good for babies to sleep with you provided one is very careful and has good space.
There are so many do's and donts about the baby that it drives one mad! I was expecting so much out of that little girl that I feel terribly guilty
Also my girl likes to sleep on her side and they say i shoudlnt let her do that, but she just wont sleep on her back! Little things like this worried me and then I learned that its actually ok...as what they say are just guidelines and every baby is different.
I felt that we are being led in a completely different directions with all those do's and donts that often forget what would work for our babies and neglect there needs.
Does anybody else out there felf or feels the same as me? xx

 

[Pyrrhic]

Do what YOU feel is right for you and your baby. Books are great, but they are very black and white and babies are each individuals. It is clear you love your LO and wouldn't do anything to hurt her by the nature of your post so do what feels right to you, and follow your instincts.

 

[Poppeteer]

Hun, I feel just like you at times, little Halle is 12 days old and we're still getting to know each other.
There's so much conflicting advice out there and not everything is crystal clear and we all try to do the best for our little ones. I think do what works for you and what feels right, you sound like a sensible, loving mama and it's true, at the end of the day alot of it is guidelines and advice- but every baby will be an individual.

xxx

 

[AC81]

there is so much advice out there on what to do and what not to do! my hv gave me a lecture when she found out that Erin was sleeping in the bed with me at night, told me it was unsafe and if I wanted to be a good mother then I had to stop (I haven't though, but I've researched how I can make it safe).

 

[XKatX]

I have to be honest and say that I didn't read any parenting books while I was pregnant. I decided that we would learn as we go along and it has a been a lot less stressful Oliver does what he wants and we are lead by him. Some people don't agree with this, but it works for us. He is a happy chapy and we are happy parents. As the others have said, make sure you do what makes you and your LO happy.
Oh, and welcome to Baby and Bump! x x

 

[hsollis]

1) The fact that you care enough to worry that you might not be a good mother means that you ARE a good mother. Just remember you are both being new at this and she's been in a warm, safe, small cuddly environment for almost 10 months...

Our nurse had us putting the LO on her side in the first few days. We had her tucked in her crib very tightly so she'd stay on her side. She told us since she was newborn she might not have the strength to turn her head if she spit up and on her side was easier to ensure it did. We didn't move her to her back until two-four weeks along.

We've very rarely 'read' any books. Too confusing... We check one or two but otherwise just ask our doctors or other mothers and family. My mother said that if she knew half of what the supposed experts say today she'd never had had kids.

We had also had our LO in our bed with us on and off and she's 4 months now. Most of the time, it's more for our security and convenience than hers as she in general sleeps well in her crib. LOL, but mummy has been worried and just needed her near me in a few instances... Originally, in the first few days we had her in our room in her basket thing but one of our two cats seemed a bit too curious and caught him almost crawling in with her so we put her in her room in the crib with the door closed pretty early. He wouldn't have hurt her intentionally but we didn't want to risk it.

As long as she is happy and safe, I wouldn't worry too much about the books, etc.

 

[hsollis]

PS - As my mum said, "They are only babies once, enjoy every minute "

 

[carries]

Hun everyone feels the same as you in the beginning...its such a steep learning curve! We had Oscar in with us quite a bit in the really early days and my midwife said this was fine. Im sure you know how to make it as sfae as possible but one thing she said that made me fel better was that in India, most women co-sleep and there is a really low instance of SIDS. They put it down to the fact that with the heat the babies dont come under mums duvet. Make sure you follow your instincts and do what is right for you!

 

[rekha]

thankyou to all of you! that does make me feel better!

 

[PeanutButter]

You know it's okay to let babies cry sometimes. My friend use to carry her baby everywhere, because as soon as she would put him down he would cry. She would sleep with him, and she wouldn't let anyone else help her in fear that he would cry. It took her a while until her doctor told her it's okay to put him down in his own crib.

You should do whatever feels comfortable, but you need to remember at some point you're going to need to put her down to sleep on her own, you can't forever have her sleep with you. I mean if that's what you want to do, that's up to you of course. I think your anxiety about the welfare of your daughter is preventing you from allowing you to separate yourself from her, talk to your doctor/midwife about your fears - it'll be better for you to be open about it so someone can give you the reassurance that you need.