Just split from OH

[Breeelizabeth]

Ugh.... sorry ladies, this is a little woe is me moment. I don't have anyone to talk to right now. I've never broken up with anybody. I've never lived with anybody before. I've never been pregnant and had the intention of starting a family with someone before and now it's all gone. All those hopes and dreams both for myself and my son when he comes (and my daughter) they're all gone.

How do I deal with all of this and deal with pregnancy? I'm only 21 and feel like future relationships are impossible - two kids to two dads. I just wanna curl up into a little ball and die.

 

[Ellivort]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this situation, especially while pregnant. Just know that your situation is more normal than abnormal. I have several friends and cousins, both male and female, who have children with different partners and are still having successful current relationships with blended families. So it is not as impossible as it may feel right now.

Give yourself time to grief the plan you had for your family and focus on your baby boy.

Sending hugs and hope for you!

 

[Chiochick]

I was 20 when I had my daughter with a man who "couldn't have kids" (yes. I'm an idiot. Way past that.)
I didn't ever plan to be with him as it was a stupid fling when my son's dad and I had split briefly.
My son was born shortly after with my long term boyfriend at the time. We had been together for 6 years.
We got engaged, then I found out about his newfound hard drug problem. I tried to "make it better" and tried to keep our family together but it didn't end up working. That was such a hard decision because it was a man I deeply loved and a pretty messed up family situation to begin with.
I didn't think anyone would want me with how messed up my life looked.
Fast forward a few years, and I met my current SO.
He accepted my (at the time) 3 and 4 year olds beautifully. He didn't judge me for my daughter being born from a stupid fling or my son having a drug addicted dad. He loves us all.
And now I'm going to have 3 babies with 3 different dads XD

What I'm getting at is, it may feel like everything is sooooo messed up for you right now but I'm sure you left for good reason and it will all turn out ok.
I was the same, alone and broken, and raising babies on my own. I felt like no one could ever love me.
But I promise, it happens.
You will find someone so much better for you and LO.
Or maybe ex SO will fix whatever happened and all will turn out well (depending on the situation)

One day at a time! You'll see it all work out.

 

[KBCupcake]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Breakups are never easy, especially during pregnancy. I don't have much advice, but I will second taking things a day at a time. You WILL find someone who will love your children as their own. You're young and there is plenty of time to find someone.

 

[Moom7900]

I'm sorry you're facing this at such an important time, but if it's the right choice for you then it will work out for the best. Don't worry about what doesn't matter right now, you will certainly be able to form other lasting relationships when the timing is right. Look after yourself and baby and focus on you an your ex being parents together, try not to let feelings influence how you deal with raising your baby together.
Big hugs and lots of love to you all xxxxxxx

 

[03babysquish]

My ex left me when I was around 12 weeks with my first son. I was feeling a lot like you, devastated, confused, and just scared. Unfortunately I doubted myself a bit too much, and chased this idiot for a long time. It wasn't until my son was about 5 months old that I decided I needed to let him go. We coparent, and always have. I focused on that, and just let go of everything. A month later I met the man I would marry. He loves me unconditionally, and I couldn't ask for a better partner. We are pregnant with our first child together, and my second child.

It seems dark and scary right now, but I promise this will pass, this guy is giving up something he doesn't even understand right now. One day he will regret it, but you will be happy and moved on. Please let me know if you need to talk!!