Just when I think I'm Ok

[lemontree12]

I thought I was moving on from fob and came to terms what he has done! Until yesterday

I went to pick up the last of my things from his parents, I went on my lunch bit no one was in so went after work! No1 answered so I started to drive off until his mum seen me and was waving me back! When I got back she asked how I was etc, her phone rang and it was fob she said that I was there picking on my bits, I heard him ask if I was ok, and to put me on the phone! I was not prepared for this at all! He was asking how I was, how the baby was, is she healthy etc any troubles in my pregnancy! He generally sounded like he cared! He asked how I wanted him to pay for her! So I stupidly asked will u want to met her when she comes? To which he replied, no I'm sorry I can't be a dad it would not be fair on me or the baby! By god I feel like someone has stabbed me in the heart all over again! Just to hear us talk on the phone like normal and him actually sound concerned over our baby! 6months ago, we were in love living together! Now I'm alone homeless pregnant and he's in another relationship!

I couldn't say anything other than ok when he responsed but my heart was ripped out! We ended the call, with him saying let him no when she's born!

I don't no why he even bothered asked the questions, or even cares when she's born! Is he just asking because he feels he has too?

When am I ever going to feel normal again, and be generally over this?

 

[teal]

Massive hugs

It will take time but you will get over it and you will be ok I have no contact at all with my ex and he's never seen my son which was his choice.

They'll regret it when it's too late.

xx

 

[lemontree12]

Thank u! I'm such a sensitive person anyway! And always treat prop who's I like to be treated! But this is the hardest thong iv had to go threw! And I seriously don't see a way out! It hurts so much! I think it hurts because talking to him yesterday made me think do I still love him? Such a tough time ahead

 

[Lemonflower]

I was panicking that FOB was gonna take LO when he was born but instead he hasn't bothered with him or paid a penny - he is also engaged to his 5 month girlfriend. Like you a few months ago we were so "in love" aswell.

I'm over him now though it still hurts sometimes (like you I'm sensitive and treat others how I want to be treated).
I'm sad he doesn't bother with LO. FOB lives about 10 mins from us.
Because he has done this I think it helped me move on.... How can he ignore his own baby.

I have a feeling him and his gf will have a baby - this only bothers me because I don't want my little boy feeling rejected. Ie - daddy wanted that baby but not him.

big hugs - it does get easier, honestly it does once LO is here.

Xxxxx

 

[lemontree12]

Thank u! I honestly can't see the end of the tunnel
I really thought I'd moved on but it hurts just as bad as the day it went wrong! My poor little girl is coming into the world where her dad doesn't want her and her mum is an emotional wreck! I really don't think I'm strong enough to be a mum

 

[Shezza84uk]

Somehow I think he will have a huge change of heart once she's here in the mean time take good care of yourself try not to suppress your emotions and hang in there! X

 

[lemontree12]

God I really hope ur right! I really do! Thank u x

 

[teal]

I know it's probably not what you want to hear but I would try and get organised with the assumption he's not going to have a change of heart. That way you'll be headed in the right direction and if he does have a change of heart then it's just a bonus to you.

My ex never had a change of heart and my son was two years old in March. I even contacted him to give him one last opportunity in December but he still wasn't interested.

xx

 

[Blue_star]

Trust me I know how you feel it's a horrible feeling, hopefully you have lots of support family and friends that you can talk with about all this and help you through it. Try not to put effort into talking to him clearly he isn't ready. Just try to focus on you maybe stay with some family for a few days and feel better DON'T depend on him. But who knows what will happen maybe in the future he will regret not seeing his daughter.

 

[Laura2919]

Sometimes it takes for the baby to come for him to see what exactly he will be missing out on.

 

[lemontree12]

its so hard. i think he will never choose to see her incase he feels something. (stupid i know but)

i think i just have to deal with the fact he will never see her