Karma is taking its time :-(

[Dezireey]

Got a call from CSA today to say that FOB is just point blank refusing to pay child support, they asked him why not and he said 'because he doesnt think he should, its not his responsibility' They have informed him that procedures are now going ahead with enforcement and he could go to prison etc and he hung up on them.

This is going to take years, I can see it now, years and years before I see a single penny,if anything. And there he is on his webpage again ( I know, I know I should never look on there but whenever he pisses me off I want to find something on there that says his life is shit) he is purchasing jackets worth £100, has a new xperia z1 phone, a new audi car, a new bicycle worth about £100..... WTF? He is also going on about how much weight he has lost and now has a 36in waist ( smaller than mine!!) Etc etc. I don't know if he is still with that woman with kids but I am guessing yes, as his jacket in the pic was hung on a womans clothes hanger. So he is loaded, lost weight, in a relationship, blah blah blah

Why cant he just be leading a shitty life with no happiness in it, that is all he deserves, truly, I hate him. I know he hates me. Yet he is the one who thinks nothing of me or his child anymore, I am just this fat, crazy ex.

Meh, I have bad days and good days. I love my LO to bits but apart from him, I have little money, not thin or good looking anymore,...........

Ladies, I need a virtual hug today. I tell everyone on here it gets better and yeah it honestly does, but after everything that man did to me...its difficult sometimes.

 

[Meezerowner]

*******! Even if you had schemed against him (which I know isn't the case) it's still his responsibility.

If they say they are going to start enforcement then I think things will get sticky for him. He can't run from his responsibility and being downright uncooperative is going to annoy the CMS. And like has been said on other threads the arrears keep building in the mean time.
He may just be trying his luck thinking they might go away.

The guy sounds like an idiot and I know you already "know" you are better off as I have seen you write words to that affect elsewhere..... so let me shout at you ***dont cyber stalk the waste of space *** dont look at his pages, facebook or whatever else. It never does any good.... mostly cos people only put up the good stuff and the life brags even if bad things do happen I doubt he would be posting them up.

His time will come... because you cant keep being that shitty to people without it coming back to you eventually.
Also he might figure that you are interested and be bragging for your benefit!

You are a strong, amazing, single mummy and defo not crazy (he is by sounds of things).

Bah! Tomorrow will be a good day.

 

[Dezireey]

Thanks sweetie

I know I am okay like 95% of the time about everything now. I just hope CSA follow through and dont just give up, I have heard stories about FOB's just doing what he does, point blank saying 'no way' and the admin and legal process of everything drags on for years and years. I just dont want him to feel like he has the last say or has beaten me ( thats what he is like) and he would enjoy that as he has always felt like he is the one who has been hard done by ( yeah, I know total nutter ) I am definitely sure he is not the one who was left pregnant,gave birth and is bringing up our baby and paying for everything etc etc... he is a weirdo.

 

[Proserpina]

He is also going on about how much weight he has lost and now has a 36in waist

Sounds like he is going to be very popular in prison.

In the meantime, you hang in there, keep checking with CSA, and stay on him. If you give up, he wins.

 

[Cazza7]

Hun, you can live your life knowing everything your LO has, is because of you, not anyone else. You are doing a grand job, karma will have its wicked way with him one day sweety xxx

 

[Mummy1995]

There are way more important things in life than looks and money. Take that away from him and he'd have absolutely nothing. If someone took your money and looks away, you'd still be left with everything, a kind heart and a gorgeous son.

His past WILL come back to haunt him, and so will karma. She's already started working her way back into my fob family.. Plus as above, a lot of people brag about their life and make it out to be wonderful, when behind close doors its a mess.

Massive hugs xxx

 

[lovejoy]

Hey chicky,

I know how you feel, I wish karma would get my ex too and pray I'll be alive to see it.
I remember your story, your ex is horrible like mine. Both are pretending to be fab and playing daddy to someone else's kid but doesn't take care of their own. The best thing you can do is let it go, because it will make you bitter and depressed. You have to let go of him too and all the hurt he caused you. For a year and a bit after I broke up with my ex, I tried to get him involved with the kids, I helped him visit and call them, but I realised I'm doing all the running around, if he really wants to be in their lives he will. I stopped and so did he. I don't go for maintenance because it's too much drama, yes he should paid, but I'm not going to force it.
I know it's hard,but do you really need his money? His toxic for you and doesn't want to know his own child so just let him be. You'll get addict to the pain if you don't stop, seriously, I read that in some psychology book when I was cyber stalking my ex. I was wondering why the hell I couldn't stop,because he was a rubbish boyfriend, and a rubbish dad,so why did I care so much about his life? After reading that I quit completely, thank god.Trust me it's all for show anyway.

Focus on making your life great for you and your son.

Hope I don't sound like a meanie.

Virtual hugs

 

[moomin_troll]

Those who say how happy they are online and they have this and that tend to be the most unhappy....in theory.
I can't believe someone would even be with a man who doesn't support his child, she must be desperate!
Hopefully they do send him to prison the scumbag

 

[Dezireey]

Those who say how happy they are online and they have this and that tend to be the most unhappy....in theory.
I can't believe someone would even be with a man who doesn't support his child, she must be desperate!
Hopefully they do send him to prison the scumbag

Yeah, was going to say. The majority of my life is quite happy really and I have supportive friends and family etc but I don't go on facebook and brag about it nor would I go on there and brag on about it if I would buy something deemed expensive, like a new phone or ipad or something......so yeah, methinks he doth protest too much.

As far as this other woman is concerned. I think he met her about a year to two years after we broke up (as i know he was single for a while when we ended) and she has been told about him being a dad to our 2 year old, abandoning us, lying etc etc.....but she didn't believe it and said I was a phsycho living in a fantasy world. So I am guessing that he told her I was some nutter claiming he was the father of my child when he hadn't even met me or some such shiteload of utter bullcrap.

Oh well, just leave it all to CSA to sort out. I think I should take the tactic of 'if I get money that's great, if I don't, well at least I tried'. As others have said on here (and I say to other ladies myself), it is hard sometimes, but its very, very true that we are way better off. I wouldn't want to be that man and live inside his head anyday of the week, so he is the loser.

 

[Meezerowner]

I wouldn't want to be that man and live inside his head anyday of the week, so he is the loser.

Defo agree with that /\ he has to live with his guilt and shame. I wonder if he worries that all the lies are gonna unravel one day and he'll be left alone.

The way that I understand it is the CMS keep chasing chasing chasing so even if you dont see the money for ages eventually you should get it. And I can only imagine how annoying it will be for him to keep having to answer their questions every month. It will be a constant reminder that he is in the wrong.

I think I said before - I pity his current woman, cos no doubt he's filling her head full of lies. Lucky ole her

 

[Meezerowner]

Also I totally believe that facebook braggers are overcompensating and there's something lacking in their lives.

It's interesting the things that he was bragging about were possessions and looks..... the two least important things in the world.... maybe that's all he's got - a few toys and a slim waist. He would seem quite poor in my eyes and maybe he realises it himself.

 

[Dezireey]

I think I said before - I pity his current woman, cos no doubt he's filling her head full of lies. Lucky ole her

Sadly there is a cycle with compulsive liars,in the beginning they dont get challenged because no-one can believe this nice person is capable of such lies and manipulation, then as time wears on, things dont add up, stories are different and men seem to forget that women have amazing memories and they remember the most smallest details. So what tends to happen is that the lies get found out and the shit hits the fan. He is probably feeding her bullshit but different types of bullshit than he gave me. Its a stupid way to live your life as you will always get found out and lose lots of people on the way. Idiot