keeping baby name a secret?

[mrsmartin91]

This is gonna be long. Sorry

My mother in law and her side of the family have given me pure heck since day one of my pregnancy. Period.

First they accused me of lying about being pregnant, not believing that the sonograms, pregnancy tests, etc were real (even when her son, my now-husband) went WITH me.

Now that they know it's for real, and Me and Michael are happily married and an hour away from all their drama, it has hit the fan...

I had a girl name and a boy name picked out, Harleigh Claire and Tucker Lane. Well, my MIL was SOOOOO insistant it would be a boy, her, her sister and Michael's obnoxious middle brother wore Tucker down to the bone... I can't even fatham that if my child would've been a boy, he wouldn't have been named tucker!

my best friend STOLE my girl's name. So I was back at square one when I found out that I was having a baby girl. Everytime I would come up with a girl's name, they'd get on FB, or Myspace and rip it to shreds where i could see!

I'm due July 19 (tho they moved me back a week for some reason last time I went to my OBGYN), and we have finally come up with a girl's name. However, to keep the "Tucker" affect down, we told EVERYBODY that the name was a "surprise" and they would find out when she was born.

Wow. This seriously ticked people off! They have called me stupid, naive, dumb... Michael's aunt (MIL's sister) even calls and texts me cussing me out telling me I've sucked all the joy out of having this baby, etc etc.

The aunt also told me when I said "Keep on calling me names and cussing me out, do you really think I want you around my baby?" She said "You will not keep me or anybody else away from Michael's child, whether you like it or not I will be there..."

They seriously act like I'm committing a crime for wanting my daughter's name to be a surprise. SIGH!!!!

Michael is supportive of me, and basically just tells them to go away or shut up, or tells me to deal with it or ignore it. He's big on ignoring them, and pretending they aren't there. But the hormones in me makes me want to scream!!!!

has anybody else experienced a similar reaction to the "keeping a name a secret"? Seriously, maybe I should just tell them!

 

[RubyRainbows]

Personally i think it's none of their business. They have been nothing but mean to you, so there is no reason to include them in your enjoyable baby naming process with your husband. Besides, they are going to deliberately sabotage any name you pick since it seems they want to be as cruel towards you as possible. I think you should ignore them completely. By ignoring their texts & MS/FB comments they will lose all their amunition. Bullies only enjoy picking on people when they are getting a reaction. I wouldn't give them any reaction whatsoever. And i think the name should remain a surprise until she's born.

 

[kitabird]

I wouldn't tell them if I were you. From the sounds of it they're going to criticise whatever name you pick so telling them will only cause you more upset. Or maybe give them a fake name and then they'll be off your back about not telling them and all their criticisms of it won't bother you!

 

[catfromaus]

Don't give in to them, they are trying to bully you. Keep the name between you and hubby, enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

 

[bky]

Don't tell them. I'm not telling any of our family our name choices and they've been nice to me.

 

[Samemka]

What a vile bunch of people!

I cannot believe they'd be so rude and horrible - I don't care if they HATED the name - it's your baby not theirs & common decency says they should keep their mouths shut!

There's nothing wrong with having a suprise - I think it's LOVELY! And with them being as nasty as they sound, I'd want to do it all the more knowing how much it was annoying them not knowing

 

[Kacie]

Personally i think it's none of their business. They have been nothing but mean to you, so there is no reason to include them in your enjoyable baby naming process with your husband. Besides, they are going to deliberately sabotage any name you pick since it seems they want to be as cruel towards you as possible. I think you should ignore them completely. By ignoring their texts & MS/FB comments they will lose all their amunition. Bullies only enjoy picking on people when they are getting a reaction. I wouldn't give them any reaction whatsoever. And i think the name should remain a surprise until she's born.

I completely agree

What a horrible group of people.. it sounds like they really don't deserve to be involved in the baby excitement. And why should their opinions on names matter?.. it is your child (not just "Michael's child").. they are sucking the joy out of your excitement. Don't let them! Try to ignore them... block them on facebook so they receive no updates on baby's progress. Let them know that you are mummy and they can have opinions but they have absolutely no say in the naming or upbringing of your child.

I'm glad your OH is supportive of you. Try to leave them behind and focus on your new family..your OH, LO and you.

xx

 

[lollylou1]

to be honest i didnt tell people we was keeping it a secret i just told everyone that we were still trying to pick the name we wanted as we had a few and if they persisted and asked the names we had to pick from i just used the names that were on our initial list as i worked in childrens day nursery so every name gets ripped apart so i used the names i had gone off and let them say they did or didnt like it cos i didnt care cos it wasnt the name i was going to use!
Hope they get a grip soon u do what u want
Lou
xxx

 

[DottyLottie]

They sound like really horrid people and are best ignored, I know it is tempting to get drawn into arguments with them, but it will only make you more stressed.

Plus, people HATE being ignored, it is the worst punishment, sounds like your OH has already nailed it, so join ranks and thank your lucky stars they are an hour away!

And no, I don't think you're wrong to keep your name a surprise, especially as they were so rude about previous names you have chosen.

Someone ought to tell them that this is YOUR and OH's joy anyway, not theirs.

Sorry you're having a horrible time, hope it gets easier for you.

 

[ChubbyCheeks]

Tell them a FAKE name & let them deal with that...make it a stupid name!! x

 

[mummygiraffe]

We've given fake silly ridiculous names (i wont say incase it offends, but they are fictional cartoon character like names)

Last time people really put me off some names i liked so i keeping it quiet until the day the baby arrives so its too late for criticism.