Kindergarten problems

[AvianasMommy]

Hi all! I've never posted here before (just in the baby section when I was preg with #2) but figured I'd give it a shot .

I'm in the US. My daughter is 5 years old (she turned 5 on August 30, started kindergarten the first week of September so she is one of the youngest in class). Kindergarten in our district is only half day -- 8:20 to 11:07.

I didn't really think kindergarten was so serious but apparently it is . She has, to date, 40 "sight words" that she has to know and she is expected to be able to write sentences and count to 100.

Last night, between my husband and I, we spent 5 hours doing homework with her (only 2 pages). She is having a lot of trouble counting. She can count to 20 but after that is lost. She doesn't understand the jump from, for example, 29 to 30 then 30 to 31. Once she gets 31 down, she can do 32-39 with no problem. Last night, we got to 30 on her number chart and after a long battle, she went to her room and wrote down 12 and 54 as the next numbers. As far as reading, she knows about 30 of the 40 sight words but this is with my making her write them repeatedly on a daily basis.

Her teacher commented that she has shown improvement with her sight words, however, the teacher's concern is that she has a problem with recall. For example, I can show her the words "what, when, and why" and repeat them 10 times, have her write them, and then I ask again what they are, and she has absolutely no clue. And she cant sound words out either... well, she knows the sounds the letters make but she doesn't understand the concept of blending the sounds together to make the words. She also cant remember the days of the week, she knows them just cant always remember the order. And I'm pretty sure she doesn't know all the months in order. In pre-school, when they focused on that a lot she did learn it but apparently forgot it now. Yesterday she told me that she had to stand up in class and say her sight words and that she only knew one (I'm not sure if she's relaying the story correctly). I asked her if she was embarrassed by that and she wasn't, but she said everyone else in her class knows all the words but she needs help. I mean, she has good and bad days... some days she does great at home when I am helping her and others I will tell her something and she forgets it literally one second later.

I'm not sure what to think right now... I feel like this is a lot to be expected of a 5 year old in half day kindergarten. I wasn't concerned with her learning abilities at all until she started kindergarten and she started having all of these things she has to know. She has an excellent vocabulary and doesn't have any attention problems that I notice (or none more than any normal 5 year old would have). I have a friend with a son that's 3 months older than her and another with a son less than a month older than her and neither of them are having these issues. The teacher said she is going to have her evaluated by the school's child study team.

Is anyone experiencing anything similar with their 5 year old's? Any teachers out there who may have some insight? I just want to be able to gather some opinions on this before I find myself in a battle with her school over her 'lack of recall' as her teacher called it... or be able to get her the help she needs early on if that's the case.

Thanks in advance, sorry this is so long!

 

[Foogirl]

That does seem like a lot of pressure to put on a 5 year old. Our daughter is just about to turn 5 but is about 18 months ahead of most of her peers in terms of language and comprehension. She is nowhere near being able to recall words. She frequently gets days of the week and months of the year mixed up. Like your LO, when they are concentrating on things at Pre-School she knows the lot and knows it well, give it a month or two and she forgets. She has absolutely no educational issues at all - she has been assessed for every aspect of her schooling because of her cerebral palsy - and nobody has ever suggested she has a problem.

I normally take the view that having an assessment can do no harm and if her school is concerned then best take their lead, but I tend to agree with you, I think they are being a bit previous here. There is plenty of time for her to get to grips with reading and stuff. Unless there is quite a bit more than the examples you give, I'd be asking the school to back off a little bit and give her time to settle in.

One worrying sign here is that she actually said everyone else in the class knows it. That sort of comment may well have come from the teachers. I'd be finding out if they actually said that to her, or if she has come to that conclusion herself. If a teacher is saying that to a child that's unforgivable.

 

[seoj]

Wow- that does seem like a lot... I remember kindergarten a bit (foggy memories of course)- but I just remember it was to "prepare" you for more structure in your day and some learning. I know times have changes, obviously- but that seems a lot of pressure to put on a 5yr old!

Personally, I would set up some time to talk with the school principal/teacher and try to understand what they are meant to accomplish so young. I mean, I don't even remember 1st grade being that hard... and hours of homework is OTT to me at that age for sure. Of course we want our children to learn and grow year after year as school does get harder- but you have to start somewhere and slowly grow and learn and think. I also think there is way too much pressure to get kids to "learn" and not enough on allowing them to problem solve and think for themselves- more so to regurgitate things for better school test scores... bit of a tangent, sorry. I've just seen it with my SD over the years at her different schools- and I can't imagine the pressure that puts on them (and the parents).

Hopefully you and the school can come up with a way to make it work all around.

 

[messica]

I agree with what your gut is obviously telling you.

That much knowledge, homework, and pressure is INSANE at her age!


If I were you I'd be seriously questioning such a program. She's going to burn out pretty quickly if she continues to be pushed, pressured and "compared" to others at that rate.


Standing up in front of the class is ludicrous, especially if they know she is struggling against their standards. I would be on the phone with the teacher or setting up a conference asap to clarify that. If that's what's going on I would demand it stop immediately or I'd pull her. I'd also mention just how long it's taking to do her "homework." There's no reason for that and I'd refuse to allow that much of my child's life to be consumed by it.

My daughter is dyslexic and we set a time limit on homework of two hours a night regardless of what comes home (she is in 5th grade and that includes her half hour of reading and half hour of band practice time). I've told her teachers over the years this and they've always agreed homework can't be allowed to consume her life. She had a March birthday and started kindy at age 5 1/2. She has always struggled to keep up with her peers but it is what it is and I'm not about to make her entire life about school work and keeping up with others you know? Thankfully, none of her educators have ever adopted methods that set her up to feel less intelligent than her peers. She knows she struggles, but not because her teachers have ever pointed out how much less she knows than everyone else. They make it a point to drill into her that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, you can't be the best at everything and that's ok.

My son on the other hand had an August birthday and started kindy less than a month after he turned 5 too. I struggled with the decision to start him that young but was told readiness was never about knowledge, rather maturity. That first year should be about having the ability to listen to the teacher, follow directions, have manners and improve on social skills. Core knowledge comes later. (He is a little genius when it comes to knowledge but struggles socially, they are definitely polar opposites.)


Your daughters struggles with transitions and retention (in regards to numbers and sight words) can be indicative of an issue like dyslexia, but it's also SUPER common for children that age. She's far too young to nail that down yet. On all other fronts she seems completely normal to me. The issue with her recall specifically sounds more like she's becoming overwhelmed. Practicing sight words at home - take it maybe 10 minutes a stretch if that. Then take an hour break doing something completely unrelated and fun, and revisit it later. If you keep drilling, drilling, drilling and turning it into a battle, inevitably everything is going to jumble inside her head and her cognitive process is going to shut down. In this case, practice does not always make perfect and going over and over the material could actually make it worse if that's not a way she's capable of learning it.

I'm straight shocked they're asking such young kids to learn how to in essence "memorize" sight words as opposed to teaching phonics first. She should have had the opportunity to memorize letter sounds long before being asked to memorize entire words.


From what you've written you have every right to be concerned imo!!!

 

[hel_5]

That just sounds FAR too much, I would set up a meeting with the teacher, find out how they are going to help her, also what you can do at home to help, but 2 hrs for homework is ridiculous - DD1s is 15 mins. I'm sorry but the school needs to be helping her, my DD1 has struggled with quite a bit, but their first two yrs everything is quite repetitive and she's getting there, when we had the parent teacher meeting the teacher thanked us for doing so much at home!!!! She told me not to worry too much about everything but if she was still struggling next yr (1st class) then they have a support teacher who would help her. I really would not be happy if my DD1 was made to stand up in class to do something that the teacher knows full well she can't do xx

 

[aimee-lou]

how you described your lo is how my 4.5yo is now. if i gave him a list if words to learn i'd be onto a losing battle and he struggles too with number transitions. i have been told he's advanced in writing and numbers before by his preschool but he is genuinely interested and even get would be struggling with that workload. i would try to speak to the teachers about setting realistic goals for your lo and setting up support for her. chances are that she is simply being overwhelmed and given time, space and opportunity she'll catch up. my husband couldn't read or write until he reached year 2. he was assessed for everything but his interest didn't lie there. he's about to complete a degree after having gotten all a's on his a levels and us the most intelligent person i know. truth is he's more interested in numbers and gas a natural talent for maths. keep supporting your lo and fight her corner.

 

[SerenityNow]

Stories like this just make me want to cry. This is your daughters first experience with school. Those expectations are unreasonable, they set kids up to fail. It is so sad.

Unfortunately many teachers and principals have very little say in it. Standards are set by the state -- or most likely you are in one of the 47 states that has adopted Common Core-- and curriculum is mandated by the district. By all means meet with the teacher and principal, hear their side of the story. But also, go in prepared to advocate for her.

The accepted rule of thumb for homework is 10 minutes per night per grade, starting in first grade. So a 3rd grader would have 30 minutes, a 6th grader would have an hour, etc. If I were in your shoes, I would decide on what is a reasonable amount of time for your DD to spend on homework (5 or 10 minutes) and then stop. Forget about finishing the worksheet.

Look up the website for your state's Dept of Education. It should have the learning standards for each grade level. Talk to other parents about how things are going for their kids. I can 100% guarantee that there are many other children in that class who aren't reading 40 sight-words, writing in sentences (!!!) or counting to 100.

 

[noahjeff]

OMG !!! I feel like you are expecting Einstein out of a 5Year old. May be the way she was taught / she picks up to learn, how she was able to learn while bw 2-3 Yrs etc depends.. How she can perform initially... real Transformation takes bw 10- 12

 

[oct-bump]

I think that's a bit much for a 5 year. Too much pressure for them. Also like a pp said. The teacher shouldn't make the child stand up in front of the class if the child doesn't know the answers. That doesn't help with their self esteem

I'll suggest counting together at bed time. My OH & daughter made a counting sheet that contains squares with numbers inside them. They count every night. The numbers go up to 100, it also help my daughter learn patterns and she can predict what comes next on high numbers.