Nolly
35+ TTC#1???
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2010
- Messages
- 527
- Reaction score
- 0
Hi everyone,
Havent posted on here in a long time even though I was lurking in the shadows. Some of you may remember me and that my hubby dropped his bombshell that he did not want children.
Well here I am many months later happy to announce that we are offically TTC again. WooHoo!!!
He was crippled by the fear of being a father and worried that he would turn out like his own father. He has been attending a counsellor over the last few months to deal with his problems and anxieties (not just baby issues but other everyday issues too). He had been making really good progress and I go with him to sessions sometimes too. She mentioned babies to him at his last session a week ago but he still said it wasnt for him.
I was actually resigning myself to the fact he was never going to change his mind. Anyhoo.... we were in town on Saturday and I wanted to go into book store as I have decided to quit the cigs and wanted the Easyway To Quit book by Allen Carr. So we were browsing around the book shop when I spotted this book..... Everything you need to know about becoming a father. I showed it to himself and he told me to put it down "youre not buying that" blah blah blah. It was on sale and was only 3 so I thought what the hell I am buying it.
When we got home I left it on the coffee table and after a while himself picked it up and started reading it
Anyway he read out a line from the book "One could argue that feelings such as doubt,worry and even fear are a sign that you are preparing yourself emotionally for the job ahead. Accepting and understanding your feelings may help you do a better job as a father, not a worse one"
Anyway I could see it in his face that something was different. It was like someone switched on a lightbulb in his brain that hey loads of men feel this way and its very normal. Being afraid of it means you know what a big responsibility it is and that in itself shows how responsible you are.
I was terrified to hope that a change of mind was coming. On Sunday morning after he had slept on his new found knowledge, we were lying in bed and we started talking about having a baby etc and how it would change our lives and I could feel it in him that he was opening up to the idea. After a long chat and many tears (from us both) we have decided to start trying again!!!!!
To say I am over the moon is an understatement. I have to take care not to frighten the crap out of him or talk too much about it but at least we are on the same page and if we need to think about IUI/IVF at least he is willing to talk about it.
Havent posted on here in a long time even though I was lurking in the shadows. Some of you may remember me and that my hubby dropped his bombshell that he did not want children.
Well here I am many months later happy to announce that we are offically TTC again. WooHoo!!!
He was crippled by the fear of being a father and worried that he would turn out like his own father. He has been attending a counsellor over the last few months to deal with his problems and anxieties (not just baby issues but other everyday issues too). He had been making really good progress and I go with him to sessions sometimes too. She mentioned babies to him at his last session a week ago but he still said it wasnt for him.
I was actually resigning myself to the fact he was never going to change his mind. Anyhoo.... we were in town on Saturday and I wanted to go into book store as I have decided to quit the cigs and wanted the Easyway To Quit book by Allen Carr. So we were browsing around the book shop when I spotted this book..... Everything you need to know about becoming a father. I showed it to himself and he told me to put it down "youre not buying that" blah blah blah. It was on sale and was only 3 so I thought what the hell I am buying it.
When we got home I left it on the coffee table and after a while himself picked it up and started reading it
Anyway he read out a line from the book "One could argue that feelings such as doubt,worry and even fear are a sign that you are preparing yourself emotionally for the job ahead. Accepting and understanding your feelings may help you do a better job as a father, not a worse one"
Anyway I could see it in his face that something was different. It was like someone switched on a lightbulb in his brain that hey loads of men feel this way and its very normal. Being afraid of it means you know what a big responsibility it is and that in itself shows how responsible you are.
I was terrified to hope that a change of mind was coming. On Sunday morning after he had slept on his new found knowledge, we were lying in bed and we started talking about having a baby etc and how it would change our lives and I could feel it in him that he was opening up to the idea. After a long chat and many tears (from us both) we have decided to start trying again!!!!!
To say I am over the moon is an understatement. I have to take care not to frighten the crap out of him or talk too much about it but at least we are on the same page and if we need to think about IUI/IVF at least he is willing to talk about it.
Lovely to have you back 'in the TTC fold' 
Good luck
