Kte's Wellness Thread

[Kte]

Why is it when your having a crap day and you try and overcome the crap ness, another crap thing happens, so you try to overcome that and then more crap comes.

I'm worn out, I want home and bed now please.

 

[littlekitten8]

Well done on all the weight loss hun. And sorting other things. Sorry to hear things are so crap right now. Chin up darlin x

 

[Kte]

Well done on all the weight loss hun. And sorting other things. Sorry to hear things are so crap right now. Chin up darlin x

Thank you x

 

[Kte]

Well I was 12st 7lbs yesterday. Doing well I guess apart from the 2x pack animal biscuits and 2x pack of mini cookies, not to mention over a quarter of coffee cake with choc sprinkles. I wish I could say it was a one off, a blow out but I get home and am just so hungry lately, gorge and hate myself. I know I am having esteem problems at the mo, feeling low and stressed but I know better not to do this to myself!!!!!!!!!

Glasses - not sorted
Contact lenses - not sorted

Need to change my name at the bank and get internet access sorted with their security so I can help with finances as they stress me out and even if I want to help I can't as I can not access the dumb joint account since I got locked out in 2009!! July 2009, on holiday in North Yorkshire and the bank blocked my access because I live in West Yorkshire, apparently I had to get permission lol

Oh and I just had a freak AF as I forgot my pill for two days and I started bleeding. The packet said to continue but I only had a week left and I didn't think it would be good for my body to bleed, stop and then bleed again. So I left it, bled and have started taking them again on Sunday when I stopped as normal. Minus the AF spots all seems okay, mmmm maybe another reason why I am pigging!

I just know summer is around the corner and want to feel good / look good darn it!

 

[Kte]

I have been hovering around 12s 5lbs lately, which is good, I just need to break this barrier I can't get through. Not that today helped. I think I write in here after I have been bad and need to get on track . . . why I don't just read in here first to spur me on I'll never know! Too little too late today after eating 3x smartie cookies, a whole tube of fruit pastel's, a scone, three bits of Galaxy choc . . . I think that's it . . . .

I know bad food doesn't give you energy but I just need something. I should be tidying, washing, ironing but I am so worn out. I just want to feel okay, not tired, lazy. I try to eat well with the money we have. Usually weetabix or a toasted teacake for breakfast, soup and crisps for dinner and then tea, could be anything, from jacket potato, to fish or meat with chips and pea and a dessert, or takeaway! Its not bad, but its not great.

Mon & Tuesday I walk lots, I walk to the bus stop, 10 mins fast walking, then to the next bus, then to Chloe's nursery, then 25 mins to work. Then at home time to the bus stop, 30 mins back from nursery to the bus station, then 10 mins back home again. Its all very hilly as well. Wed I do half that and get a lift home. Last two weeks though I did the return journy only both Thursdays so its been like doing it 3 days in a row instead.

I was ill of work on Monday and Tuesday this week and worringly was equally as tired as if I had had a busy day, I went to the docs on Mon and on Tuesday have had bloods taken to test for things like Anemia, Thyroids etc . . .. a pee sample was handed in too.

I have stopped taking the pill, I had the funny period, waited until it ended and started taking the pill again. That packet went well but I am so tired and ache and I had my period and decided to stop for a month to have a natural, normal period before I start again. The problem is that during the 8 days settleing of taking the pill after the freak period, OH and I DTD twice, and now I am freaking out wondering if I am pregnant or not. Most of me says, nah don't be ridiculous, I don't feel like I did with Chloe but then I was 7 weeks gone before my body told me anything. I can't afford a cheap test but I feel so crappy because if I am I arent getting the folic acid and eating how I would if I am. I'm so struggling with food at the moment, just no matter what I eat, I still feel tired. I had odd tummy cramps the other day and sometimes by boobs hurt but other times they don't. All the signs I had could be linked to so many different things and I have two weeks to wait until I get to find out and I just want to know what it is now!

I haven't sorted out glasses, contacts or the bank.

 

[Kte]

Guess what . . . . . .

CONTACTS ARE SORTED!!!

Well, almost, I have to have a follow up check on Thursday and I need to change the Direct debit from the 29th to the 21st now (why are things never straight forward lol) but other than that - hurray!

Still off the pill - I had another freak AF from the 8th - 13th April, it was really brown, not fresh (TMI!!)

Called the doctors today about my blood test results. The receptionist checked to see if she could tell me them. She said my liver is fine and then said but *and then mentioned some coded medical jargon* has high levels of protein. So that was a bit of a shock. I don't really know what it is but she said the GP wanted to speak to me anyway and so I will be calling on the phone at 8.30 tomorrow to get an appointment booked in to find out what happend next. Pretty scary to be honest.

 

[Kte]

Update: Okay so I went to see the doc and it was C-reactive protien in my bloods that was up. The downside is that this is a sign but a sign for just about anything! tuesday gone I went back for another blood test, one to re test to see if the levels were the same and another sample was taken to check for viruses etc.

I have now decided that, I need to eat more of my '5 a day'. We don't have a bad diet as such but it could be improved and on work days I barely have breakfast or end up with a (scrummy) toasted teacake and then just soup for lunch, a sinlge snack around three and that is it before home. Then a meal at home. I need to get more healthy stuff in me and keep up the walking a bare minimum.

I did consider cycling to work during Spring / Summer / Autumn but the main thing putting me off is I give Chloe her breakfast on the bus as we set off at 7.10 and she is up at 6.30 and breakfast at nursery is gone 8 which is far too long. Plus, sometimes I get cuddles on the bus and I would miss out on them too. I don't think my journey time would be any less but it would be cheaper in the long run after the initial costs have been covered. Also, with me being tired, like I am now (maybe its my VDU and lack of proper breaks?) its not really that realistic, yet sometimes excercise gives you more energy. Confused!

Weight wise I am still around 12st 5lbs.

I am still off the pill and started a real AF yesterday! Huzzah! Feeling okay about it really but at leastI know its not the pill that has been causing this tiredness - it was good to check out.

I have started to sort out my bank issues which is good, just a whloe bunch of new forms to complete!

Glasses still need purchasing! Lets see if I can do this, I need to, before my voucher expires in December!

 

[Kte]

AF has ended and I didn't realise I should of started taking my pill at the start so another month of no . . . eh hem.

Well I got my blood test back today - the good news is they were both okay! The bad news is, I still feel like complete and utter crap. Huzzah! My Sister, my Mum and my work colleague have now all put it down to the fact I am a full time Mummy and a full time worker. I never have 'me' time, which is true but I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I can't reduce my hours unless I get a better wage (going to apply for that temp job btw as a secondment) and I can't have any me time activities as the ones I like are in the wrong time slots against Nij's work hours, on days I couldn't do or stupid time like until 10pm! Eh?! Plus the cost too or if those factors are met, they aren't something that I am interested in! So yeah money stifles me again, I could swear. I just feel like Nij doesn't get it either, the doc says I'm okay so I must be BUT IM NOT!!! He does help and do little things but I have to say, its not enough, he gets the afternoons to himself and his days off and I get bugger all

Anyway . . . back to this assignment!!

 

[Kte]

Wow, I really have been slack with updating things.

Life has been pretty good at the mo, its good because I found the world of Roller Derby. I get to go when Chloe is in bed so I don't have to feel guilty that I am missing out on us time. I go Tuesday and Thursdays, 8-10pm. Its great fun, totally addictive, keeps you really really fit and I have met so many wonderful people and made so many new friends. Its the 'bit-of-me' time medicine I needed and don't know what I would do without it, it makes the rest of my life much more easier. Chloe is my everything but is the work and home when she isn't around that gets me down so this really helps me and I can feel better at all things now. Plus I think it's healthy for Chloe to see me have a hobby.

In March I will be attending some Sunday training, but that means that's only for 4 Sundays and then my attendance will be boosted and I can go back to normal from April. I really want to be rostered for a game and you need 60% attendance, I was there until the other week when illnesses and life got in the way a tiny but, so I am on 56% now. I am a bit upset because March means that I am having to work late all month too so that means I don't collect miss-moo up until just after 5, but I do that 3 days a week anyway so two extra days shouldn't be too bad for only the month ( inotmally fininsh 30 mins earlier on a training day but I need to get my flexi time down). March is the month for kicking my own butt!

I have taken on the BA top up in Educational Management and Administration course as well now so the pressure is on. Typically I will sign off as I did last time . . .

Anyway . . . back to this assignment!!

 

[Kte]

Gosh, over a year since I posted. I have to say, Roller Derby really has helped me and awful lot. I am currently 39+2 and have been off skates since August - as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I got rostered for the team on my 30th Birthday and got to play in a tournament which the team came second in. I then got rostered as a sub for a further two games but had to pull out because I was pregnant.

I really miss my skates and physically and mentally really need to get back on them again! I can't wait until May when I plan to get them strapped back on my feet! I have had to find a new team as the training times just wouldn't suit a newborn and Nij's work rota but I'm really excited, it's the one thing I didn't want to have to give up!

I am very tired at the moment but can't seem to motivate myself at home. I know I should be resting and relaxing because baby is on the way but in my head there is so much to do in the house. So much cleaning and sorting but I just can't physically do it myself so I get all overwhelmed. I guess I just want to feel like me again, I love being pregnant, just kinda useless or lazy at the same time. The tiredness, physically and mentally I don't like at all. I know it's going to take time especially with a newborn to overcome it all.

Typically I have my dissertation to complete as well, close yet not close enough - must crack on with it!