Ladies who have divorced / left your partners - advice please

[ilvmylbug]

I have made the decision to leave my husband. I have given him so many opportunities to change and he stays out every single night and drinks - and so close to my due date.

Right now I have decided to stay here (I can handle being alone as long as he brings home the necessities) because it's a stable and safe environment for my daughter, plus it will be so much stress living somewhere and making an income while I am pregnant.

But I am leaving him after I give birth, when the baby is more than a month old. We have been married for 8 months tomorrow, and it'll be close to a year when I plan to leave.

Can you give me any advice as to how you finally left your husbands or boyfriends, etc.? Also, those who are divorced - could you tell me the process you went through?

Thanks in advance.

 

[jocelynmarie]

Awwww honey, I'm so sorry to hear that. I didn't realize you guys were having so many problems. Not that I know you well of course, but we're due right around the same time

I don't have much advise to offer, I was engaged to FOB, but I broke it off with him right before finding out I was pregnant and stuck to my guns even after learning that we were expecting. However, he lives in England and I live in Minnesota. So, obviously my situation is completely different, But didn't want to read and run! Hope everything works out great for you

 

[rykersmommie]

Hi honey, I am so sorry you are going through this I went through about the same thing. My husband and i were married for 2 years and then decided to have a baby we started having issues the whole time i was pregnant. Everybody told me that it was hormonal and it would get better after the baby. I had my son and he started to escalate and became emotionally abusive and i was afraid it would get worse. When my son was 4 weeks i wrote him a detailed letter telling him exactly what needed to change and that if they didnt I was leaving. He wouldnt even talk to me about the letter he told me it was all my problem. He made no effort to change so I took my son and my parents helped me pack my things and i left well he was at work and left him a letter. The reason i did it this way is because he was already becoming abusive i was afraid of what he would do if i told him to his face. It was a good idea i did things the way i did.

My divorce will be final on the 29th of this month, my husband did not sign the divorce papers. This caused my lawyer to file a default court hearing, So this means that my attorney and I go to court without my husband and take the judge a default decree(everything i want) and he says yes or no signs and stamps the paper and im divorced. It is a really emotional experience I almost went back 2 times and realized he would never change. Just be sure you have a great support system and are sure that this is what you want. I made sure that if i was going to leave i was prepared to never go back and i am stronger because of it.

 

[Jennifurball]

I haven't been through divorce but I left my ex because of his drinking. It wasn't a safe environment for her and he wasn't providing financially or emotionally so it was pretty much a case of not having a choice. I gave him chances all through my pregnancy and he just got worse.

I do sometimes have weak moments, wondering if I should have split the family up, but when I think what Scarlett would have been growing up in/listening to/seeing, hearing me receiving terrible abuse, I know it was the right thing.

 

[fairydust87]

I broke up with Noahs dad three weeks ago when he was 4 months. I just fell put of love and wasnt happy. I knew I had to leave as if I was happy then Noah will be. I love being a single parent! Just me and my boy. FOB comes round every weekend and we still get on great hes a great friend we just werent right for each other romantically. Im happy FOB is happy and more importantly Noah is happy. I know I made the right decision. Good luck x