Lady_Venom
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So..while the baby is finally sleeping, I have a bit of time to sit and recall the birth! this is a bit long so I apologize but it felt so good to write as much as I could remember!
I had been very stressed the last couple of weeks because I so badly wanted my very first birth to be at home in water. I had been so mentally prepared. No fear and worry, just happiness and excitement about going through labour. I kept the mindset of "yes, it will be painful and hard work so don't kid yourself...but you are a capable woman who can do this." I so badly did not want to be induced. I wanted to go through natural labour and work with my contractions. I did not want to be strapped to a bed and told when
to push. I did not want to tear and I certainly did not want any unnecessary medical intervention. The documentaries "the business of being born" and "pregnant in america" opened my eyes and stand for everything I believe in. I will still recommend they be watched by all as they are what made me
so passionate about a home birth with midwives. Watching many of Ina May's videos on youtube had me inspired as well. I wanted a beautiful birth. I wanted a natural, calm way for Ava to enter this world and I got my wish.
I had gone for my first stretch and sweep when I was 40 weeks and 3 days.
By then my anxiety was high and my time seemed so limited to have my dream birth. I thought I would have gone into labour soon after because I started to lose lots of plug and was cramping so I got pretty hopeful for a
few days. But it amounted to nothing. I had had so many signs of going into labour the weeks before. heavy cramping, losing tiny bits of plug, extreme back cramping and low period like cramping accompanied by constant yet irregular braxton hicks but again,it would all amount to nothing. The excitement would build then I would get really pissed off that things would settle down again. I had crazy bursts of energy then crazy sleeping days, then it turned into insomnia so I really thought I was getting close..but
no.
Anyways, at the sweep I was 1.5 cm dilated so my body definitely was headed in the right direction. She could fit one finger and the tip of another one inside. I was also 35% effaced or something like that. I was hopeful
that the sweep would kick start labour but as I said, nothing happened. I had been trying a lot of the "natural induction methods" just for fun and to keep my hopes up like the raspberry leaf tea, evening primrose oil inserted and taken orally, lots of sex with lots of orgasms while leaving semen inside over night, walking, spicy food, watching lots of comedies lol, tried popping lots of caulophylum to help dilate but nothing was working. I went for another stretch and sweep at 41 weeks and 1 day. Same dilation as last time. The midwife and I sadly had to start discussing the induction plan if I did go past 42 weeks. it was hard to hold back from crying. I said lets leave it as late as possible. The baby was not huge so it was definitely doable to wait til last minute. She then tried suggesting more natural induction methods and brought up acupuncture. I said I really wanted to try that but I was afraid of the cost so I hadn't looked into it much. Her eyes then lit up and said "well it's your lucky day!" A new acupuncture team had just set up a room for their business downstairs from the midwives' office and
they were doing free acupuncture sessions all this week. I was so excited and said I'll go down right now and give it a try. Couldn't hurt to try.
At the acupuncturist's I told them I'm just trying to get this baby out. I am so afraid of going over due and it's all I think about. Even if you can just make me relax I will leave happy. The two women were so excited to try and induce me haha. Before the needles went in she of course told me this may not work but for some it has so if you don't come back tomorrow for your next appointment, we will assume you had your baby. I must have laid there for an hour and forty-five minutes. My fiance came to relax with me too. I left feeling really calm which is what I really wanted in the first place. Even if it doesn't induce me (which I was still on the fence about) at least it calmed me down and my head was cleared of anxiety for tonight.
I went to bed at 12 and then woke up abruptly at 4am. I laid there for a second wondering why I HAD to wake up just now. I then went for a quick pee and when I wiped there was a significant chunk of plug this time that was tinged with pink. Well that's a good sign I thought. But every time my hopes are up it amounts to nothing so I dismissed it and went back to lay down. I then started getting some cramping. Ok, so what? I have been cramping like this for the past three weeks, obviously not getting excited still. The cramps started to get pretty decent in about 10 mins. I couldn't fall
asleep again so I went to the computer to browse baby and bump lol. My cramping then got more powerful within the hour where I felt I had to breathe through them. Ok this is different. I feel I need to grip my computer chair and they keep coming in waves that seem actually regular this time! I was now getting excited. I looked up some contraction timer, started timing them and noticed they would come every 7 or 8 minutes. By 5am they were every 5-6 minutes and lasted a minute long. They were
really consistent and I still had to grip my chair and breathe through them so this is when I knew this was the real thing. By 6am I woke my fiance Scott saying "it's happening! omg finally!" he shot up half asleep yet still excited saying "are you sure?" and I started leaning over the bed during a moderately strong cramp "yeah, this is it. I keep losing more plug too and it has blood
this time." We were both so excited that I wasn't going to go overdue. We had the birth pool and all our preparation was done. I started to feel a slight panic by 6:30 when the contraction were comming every 3 or 4 minutes and still I had to sit in my computer chair, grip, and breathe. "ok fill the pool I'm calling the midwives!"
The next part I'm not too sure of for exact timing so they will be rough estimates. Midwife arrived by 7:15 and after that I lost track of time. She checked me and was shocked that I was already 4 cm dilated and that things seemed to be going very quickly. She gave me permission to
jump into the pool. The pool was nice but it DID NOT take away any pain. The thing I loved was the weightlessness and the freedom to get into any position I wanted. The contractions seemed to get worse and worse every 15 mins was a new pain threshold I needed to cross. I still was not scared. But I kept saying "what is transition pain going to be like? More painful or just more frequent contractions?" The midwife replied "some women find it more painful because the contractions are really close together. Might be a bit overwhelming." She then started pushing on pressure points on my lower back when I'd have a contraction. WOW did that ever take the edge off. She showed my Scott how to do it and then he took over the rest of the time. I couldn't believe how painful the contractions were but I stayed strong with my breathing the entire time. Long inhale through the nose, out through the mouth. I also was practicing what Ina Gaskin spoke of on sphincter law. Relax your jaw, don't tense your face and your vagina will open and relax with you. It took a lot of concentration for the jaw relaxing ugh. When a contraction would hit, I would say "another!" and wrap my arms around Scott's legs as he leaned over me and rubbed and pressed the pressure points during the contraction. I found my comfort position which was with one knee bent like I was sitting on it, the other leg stretched way out, opening my pelvis and I would lean over the edge of the pool. This position would never have been attainable in a hospital bed and THAT would have made me irate.
It didn't take long again before I started crying out at the height of the contraction and moan in relief when they would subside. Everything was happening so fast. I was checked again and after another hour was 7 cm. Very soon after I had hit transition and not even realized since the pain was so awful anyways. During every contraction at this point, I felt the need to push and when I did, there was the tiniest sense of relief and the contraction wouldn't be as awful. It felt like the strongest period cramp imaginable accompanied by an immense need to poop.
On my 3rd and final check, I was 10 cm. I hated the fact that I had to get out and lay on the bed every time to be checked but oh well. The midwife said I was doing so well, keeping my breathing regular and fighting
through every contraction. I had cried a couple times when I looked at Scott saying "ok, I can't do this..I don't think I can take much more pain. I can't!" and he would say "you can do this, I know you can" and the midwife would say "you will be seeing your baby so soon! I haven't seen someone progress so fast in a long time." By this point I had to get out so she could break my water. I had to do a couple practice pushes as well to bulge the sac out a bit. She then popped the bag and I felt the warm gush. After I tried a
few practice pushes she said she could see the very tip of the head and asked if Scott wanted to see. He gazed in shock which made me
laugh inside my head. There was some meconium in the water so I had to give birth on the bed so they could monitor her heart rate. This
angered me as I wanted everything to be in water but then again they could have been forced to send me to the hospital for this dilemma. however we stayed after they discussed since I was progressing so fast I might as well give birth here and not in an ambulance. In total it took about 20 mins worth of pushes to get her out in the last 45 mins of labour. The contractions were more spaced out at this time so I'd have to wait a bit for each one to come about.
By this time the student midwives had arrived to help me give birth and it was an actual student who helped me get to the end. I was so terrified
of tearing. that was my only fear before birth and during. Every strong push I felt the razor blades inside me. I would start to freak because it felt as I would imagine tearing would feel like. I would start to yell "am I tearing?! Please I don't want to tear" and they would comfort me saying "we will help you slowly get the baby out with your breathing so you need just a couple of big pushes that you've been doing and you will see your baby." Every push I did was successful and brought the baby farther and farther down. I would stop pushing, trying to let the skin stretch as she was passing through the birth canal. This was probably the worst part...that ripping feeling. I thought the ring of fire would be this burning feeling right on the outside of the vagina but it felt like little blades cutting all around the inside of the vagina as the skin was stretching. I was terrified by this point at the pain but the midwives and students helped me stay calm and breathe her out. With every push the midwives would get so excited telling me how great of a pusher I was and that she is coming out any second now. With one strong push followed by a bellowing scream(at that point I was like BULLSHIT I DIDNT TEAR. THAT WAS A TEAR!!) her head popped out! No tear might I add but I was delirious at that point. A comical moment here was when I screamed and the head popped out, our next door neighbours banged hard on the wall behind my head. They probably thought we were having vigorous sex or something. It was quite embarrassing. a midwife went over later to explain a home birth was happening then they denied they even banged on the wall lol.
Scott had been up by my face helping to hold my left leg during a contraction. I looked up at him after I screamed and he started laughing and crying at the same time. I assumed the head had popped out or something but I didn't know what the heck was going on. I got a sudden burst of excitement that I was about to meet our daughter and pushed hard once more and felt her body slip out of me. The midwives did exactly what I hoped for and plopped her on my chest immediately. She was crying, and full of good colour. She then had the decency to poop all over my chest, twice haha. I looked down at this baby and was in shock. I thought I would be crying but I was in such a daze, full of emotion and still remembering the pain of it all and now, there is something that is a part of me, laying here helpless on my chest. After staring wide eyed for a moment, the tears starting welling up. "omg omg" I kept saying "I did it". She was beautiful at 7lbs 8 ounces. I looked at Scott and thought to myself, I wouldn't have made it without this man. He stayed by my side and fed me and kept me hydrated
and would look so worried and sad when I was in pain. He wiped the tears from his eyes as the midwives got him to cut the cord after it finished pulsing.
I then got the oxytocin (wow I'm tired I almost wrote oxyclean) injection to help the placenta detach. The student worked at the placenta and warned me next contraction I need to push. "it will feel much better pushing this thing through, there are no bones" she laughed. I then pushed and felt the big wad of tissue pass through and I had to stop myself from laughing. "do you want to see the placenta?" asked a student to which I responded "hell yeah I do!" Ava didn't take long to calm herself and was soon fast asleep in my arms. When it was time, she took to the breast immediately.
So all in all, it was an 8 hr labour from first contraction to the placenta detaching. In the last 45 mins, there was 20 mins or so worth of pushes to get her out. I had dilated so fast and was told this was one of the best births they have seen in a while. Everything was a success. I am so proud of myself. I am so glad I educated myself. I am so glad I have an open mind. Women are built to do this. They really are. I am 22 years old, have been told by many coworkers "oh you won't be able to do it. you will need the drugs" and got to hear all of their horror stories from their hospital births the last few months of my pregnancy but I didn't let it scare me. I feel we are, in a way, taught to fear labour and birth. Really, it is a beautiful thing if you allow it to be. You awaken a different side of yourself. An inner confidence. A new outlook of "I CAN". It was definitely the most painful thing I will ever go through so long as I don't break any bones or something serious like that but I got through it. It was hard work. I feel bad for the women that have much longer labours than I did and still manage to do it drug free. You go ladies! I think we should spread the word that home births really can be a beautiful experience. You feel safer, more relaxed, everything is here when you need it. No unnecessary interventions, just people who care about you and your birth. My midwives did an amazing job and I will forever be thankful for that. No breastfeeding issues, no weight gain issues, she barely cries and sleeps for most of the night besides the quick wake up for a feed then back to sleep. She is peaceful and in my opinion it was due to her peaceful transition into this world.
Sorry again for the long winded-ness. I just wanted to write exactly how I feel before it starts to fade into my memory little bits at a time. Hope this inspired some women to achieve the beautiful birth they want.
I had been very stressed the last couple of weeks because I so badly wanted my very first birth to be at home in water. I had been so mentally prepared. No fear and worry, just happiness and excitement about going through labour. I kept the mindset of "yes, it will be painful and hard work so don't kid yourself...but you are a capable woman who can do this." I so badly did not want to be induced. I wanted to go through natural labour and work with my contractions. I did not want to be strapped to a bed and told when
to push. I did not want to tear and I certainly did not want any unnecessary medical intervention. The documentaries "the business of being born" and "pregnant in america" opened my eyes and stand for everything I believe in. I will still recommend they be watched by all as they are what made me
so passionate about a home birth with midwives. Watching many of Ina May's videos on youtube had me inspired as well. I wanted a beautiful birth. I wanted a natural, calm way for Ava to enter this world and I got my wish.
I had gone for my first stretch and sweep when I was 40 weeks and 3 days.
By then my anxiety was high and my time seemed so limited to have my dream birth. I thought I would have gone into labour soon after because I started to lose lots of plug and was cramping so I got pretty hopeful for a
few days. But it amounted to nothing. I had had so many signs of going into labour the weeks before. heavy cramping, losing tiny bits of plug, extreme back cramping and low period like cramping accompanied by constant yet irregular braxton hicks but again,it would all amount to nothing. The excitement would build then I would get really pissed off that things would settle down again. I had crazy bursts of energy then crazy sleeping days, then it turned into insomnia so I really thought I was getting close..but
no.
Anyways, at the sweep I was 1.5 cm dilated so my body definitely was headed in the right direction. She could fit one finger and the tip of another one inside. I was also 35% effaced or something like that. I was hopeful
that the sweep would kick start labour but as I said, nothing happened. I had been trying a lot of the "natural induction methods" just for fun and to keep my hopes up like the raspberry leaf tea, evening primrose oil inserted and taken orally, lots of sex with lots of orgasms while leaving semen inside over night, walking, spicy food, watching lots of comedies lol, tried popping lots of caulophylum to help dilate but nothing was working. I went for another stretch and sweep at 41 weeks and 1 day. Same dilation as last time. The midwife and I sadly had to start discussing the induction plan if I did go past 42 weeks. it was hard to hold back from crying. I said lets leave it as late as possible. The baby was not huge so it was definitely doable to wait til last minute. She then tried suggesting more natural induction methods and brought up acupuncture. I said I really wanted to try that but I was afraid of the cost so I hadn't looked into it much. Her eyes then lit up and said "well it's your lucky day!" A new acupuncture team had just set up a room for their business downstairs from the midwives' office and
they were doing free acupuncture sessions all this week. I was so excited and said I'll go down right now and give it a try. Couldn't hurt to try.
At the acupuncturist's I told them I'm just trying to get this baby out. I am so afraid of going over due and it's all I think about. Even if you can just make me relax I will leave happy. The two women were so excited to try and induce me haha. Before the needles went in she of course told me this may not work but for some it has so if you don't come back tomorrow for your next appointment, we will assume you had your baby. I must have laid there for an hour and forty-five minutes. My fiance came to relax with me too. I left feeling really calm which is what I really wanted in the first place. Even if it doesn't induce me (which I was still on the fence about) at least it calmed me down and my head was cleared of anxiety for tonight.
I went to bed at 12 and then woke up abruptly at 4am. I laid there for a second wondering why I HAD to wake up just now. I then went for a quick pee and when I wiped there was a significant chunk of plug this time that was tinged with pink. Well that's a good sign I thought. But every time my hopes are up it amounts to nothing so I dismissed it and went back to lay down. I then started getting some cramping. Ok, so what? I have been cramping like this for the past three weeks, obviously not getting excited still. The cramps started to get pretty decent in about 10 mins. I couldn't fall
asleep again so I went to the computer to browse baby and bump lol. My cramping then got more powerful within the hour where I felt I had to breathe through them. Ok this is different. I feel I need to grip my computer chair and they keep coming in waves that seem actually regular this time! I was now getting excited. I looked up some contraction timer, started timing them and noticed they would come every 7 or 8 minutes. By 5am they were every 5-6 minutes and lasted a minute long. They were
really consistent and I still had to grip my chair and breathe through them so this is when I knew this was the real thing. By 6am I woke my fiance Scott saying "it's happening! omg finally!" he shot up half asleep yet still excited saying "are you sure?" and I started leaning over the bed during a moderately strong cramp "yeah, this is it. I keep losing more plug too and it has blood
this time." We were both so excited that I wasn't going to go overdue. We had the birth pool and all our preparation was done. I started to feel a slight panic by 6:30 when the contraction were comming every 3 or 4 minutes and still I had to sit in my computer chair, grip, and breathe. "ok fill the pool I'm calling the midwives!"
The next part I'm not too sure of for exact timing so they will be rough estimates. Midwife arrived by 7:15 and after that I lost track of time. She checked me and was shocked that I was already 4 cm dilated and that things seemed to be going very quickly. She gave me permission to
jump into the pool. The pool was nice but it DID NOT take away any pain. The thing I loved was the weightlessness and the freedom to get into any position I wanted. The contractions seemed to get worse and worse every 15 mins was a new pain threshold I needed to cross. I still was not scared. But I kept saying "what is transition pain going to be like? More painful or just more frequent contractions?" The midwife replied "some women find it more painful because the contractions are really close together. Might be a bit overwhelming." She then started pushing on pressure points on my lower back when I'd have a contraction. WOW did that ever take the edge off. She showed my Scott how to do it and then he took over the rest of the time. I couldn't believe how painful the contractions were but I stayed strong with my breathing the entire time. Long inhale through the nose, out through the mouth. I also was practicing what Ina Gaskin spoke of on sphincter law. Relax your jaw, don't tense your face and your vagina will open and relax with you. It took a lot of concentration for the jaw relaxing ugh. When a contraction would hit, I would say "another!" and wrap my arms around Scott's legs as he leaned over me and rubbed and pressed the pressure points during the contraction. I found my comfort position which was with one knee bent like I was sitting on it, the other leg stretched way out, opening my pelvis and I would lean over the edge of the pool. This position would never have been attainable in a hospital bed and THAT would have made me irate.
It didn't take long again before I started crying out at the height of the contraction and moan in relief when they would subside. Everything was happening so fast. I was checked again and after another hour was 7 cm. Very soon after I had hit transition and not even realized since the pain was so awful anyways. During every contraction at this point, I felt the need to push and when I did, there was the tiniest sense of relief and the contraction wouldn't be as awful. It felt like the strongest period cramp imaginable accompanied by an immense need to poop.
On my 3rd and final check, I was 10 cm. I hated the fact that I had to get out and lay on the bed every time to be checked but oh well. The midwife said I was doing so well, keeping my breathing regular and fighting
through every contraction. I had cried a couple times when I looked at Scott saying "ok, I can't do this..I don't think I can take much more pain. I can't!" and he would say "you can do this, I know you can" and the midwife would say "you will be seeing your baby so soon! I haven't seen someone progress so fast in a long time." By this point I had to get out so she could break my water. I had to do a couple practice pushes as well to bulge the sac out a bit. She then popped the bag and I felt the warm gush. After I tried a
few practice pushes she said she could see the very tip of the head and asked if Scott wanted to see. He gazed in shock which made me
laugh inside my head. There was some meconium in the water so I had to give birth on the bed so they could monitor her heart rate. This
angered me as I wanted everything to be in water but then again they could have been forced to send me to the hospital for this dilemma. however we stayed after they discussed since I was progressing so fast I might as well give birth here and not in an ambulance. In total it took about 20 mins worth of pushes to get her out in the last 45 mins of labour. The contractions were more spaced out at this time so I'd have to wait a bit for each one to come about.
By this time the student midwives had arrived to help me give birth and it was an actual student who helped me get to the end. I was so terrified
of tearing. that was my only fear before birth and during. Every strong push I felt the razor blades inside me. I would start to freak because it felt as I would imagine tearing would feel like. I would start to yell "am I tearing?! Please I don't want to tear" and they would comfort me saying "we will help you slowly get the baby out with your breathing so you need just a couple of big pushes that you've been doing and you will see your baby." Every push I did was successful and brought the baby farther and farther down. I would stop pushing, trying to let the skin stretch as she was passing through the birth canal. This was probably the worst part...that ripping feeling. I thought the ring of fire would be this burning feeling right on the outside of the vagina but it felt like little blades cutting all around the inside of the vagina as the skin was stretching. I was terrified by this point at the pain but the midwives and students helped me stay calm and breathe her out. With every push the midwives would get so excited telling me how great of a pusher I was and that she is coming out any second now. With one strong push followed by a bellowing scream(at that point I was like BULLSHIT I DIDNT TEAR. THAT WAS A TEAR!!) her head popped out! No tear might I add but I was delirious at that point. A comical moment here was when I screamed and the head popped out, our next door neighbours banged hard on the wall behind my head. They probably thought we were having vigorous sex or something. It was quite embarrassing. a midwife went over later to explain a home birth was happening then they denied they even banged on the wall lol.
Scott had been up by my face helping to hold my left leg during a contraction. I looked up at him after I screamed and he started laughing and crying at the same time. I assumed the head had popped out or something but I didn't know what the heck was going on. I got a sudden burst of excitement that I was about to meet our daughter and pushed hard once more and felt her body slip out of me. The midwives did exactly what I hoped for and plopped her on my chest immediately. She was crying, and full of good colour. She then had the decency to poop all over my chest, twice haha. I looked down at this baby and was in shock. I thought I would be crying but I was in such a daze, full of emotion and still remembering the pain of it all and now, there is something that is a part of me, laying here helpless on my chest. After staring wide eyed for a moment, the tears starting welling up. "omg omg" I kept saying "I did it". She was beautiful at 7lbs 8 ounces. I looked at Scott and thought to myself, I wouldn't have made it without this man. He stayed by my side and fed me and kept me hydrated
and would look so worried and sad when I was in pain. He wiped the tears from his eyes as the midwives got him to cut the cord after it finished pulsing.
I then got the oxytocin (wow I'm tired I almost wrote oxyclean) injection to help the placenta detach. The student worked at the placenta and warned me next contraction I need to push. "it will feel much better pushing this thing through, there are no bones" she laughed. I then pushed and felt the big wad of tissue pass through and I had to stop myself from laughing. "do you want to see the placenta?" asked a student to which I responded "hell yeah I do!" Ava didn't take long to calm herself and was soon fast asleep in my arms. When it was time, she took to the breast immediately.
So all in all, it was an 8 hr labour from first contraction to the placenta detaching. In the last 45 mins, there was 20 mins or so worth of pushes to get her out. I had dilated so fast and was told this was one of the best births they have seen in a while. Everything was a success. I am so proud of myself. I am so glad I educated myself. I am so glad I have an open mind. Women are built to do this. They really are. I am 22 years old, have been told by many coworkers "oh you won't be able to do it. you will need the drugs" and got to hear all of their horror stories from their hospital births the last few months of my pregnancy but I didn't let it scare me. I feel we are, in a way, taught to fear labour and birth. Really, it is a beautiful thing if you allow it to be. You awaken a different side of yourself. An inner confidence. A new outlook of "I CAN". It was definitely the most painful thing I will ever go through so long as I don't break any bones or something serious like that but I got through it. It was hard work. I feel bad for the women that have much longer labours than I did and still manage to do it drug free. You go ladies! I think we should spread the word that home births really can be a beautiful experience. You feel safer, more relaxed, everything is here when you need it. No unnecessary interventions, just people who care about you and your birth. My midwives did an amazing job and I will forever be thankful for that. No breastfeeding issues, no weight gain issues, she barely cries and sleeps for most of the night besides the quick wake up for a feed then back to sleep. She is peaceful and in my opinion it was due to her peaceful transition into this world.
Sorry again for the long winded-ness. I just wanted to write exactly how I feel before it starts to fade into my memory little bits at a time. Hope this inspired some women to achieve the beautiful birth they want.
