Last baby..... guilt, grieving last times

[caz_hills]

Our daughter is a month old now and we also have a five year old.

After two miscarriages inbetween our children I always said this is the last pregnancy and I feel our family is complete now. I think!

I feel sad that this is my last time - despite the fact that these tough early days are full of sleepless nights and worry about our LO.

I feel sad that once again I didn't manae to get my daughter to latch to breast feed. I'm pumping breast milk for her five times a day but that's getting touch now and I'm thinking of weaning off it. But I feel guilty that I didn't not manage to feed her and I can only give her a bit of breast milk. I feel like I should have tried harder to feed or committed more to pumping.

I only wanted two babies and now we have that and love them so much. But is this guilt and sadness normal?

x

 

[Smanderson]

Yes it's normal to feel this way, there is so much guilt around how we feed our babies but please try to remember that firstly you have done your best and that's all anyone would ask of anyone and secondly happy mummy = happy baby. Your baby will be happy as long as they are fed and loved. breast or no breast, breast milk or formula all that matters is that your baby is thriving and your family is doing well. Sending big hugs I know that guilt I felt it so much too, giving up expressing was such a hard decision for me but i feel like for us it was the best choice. I had more time with my baby and was less stressed so I felt like I could enjoy him more xxx

 

[x-ginge-x]

Baby is still young you could potentially get her to latch still with a bit of patience. Try when she isn't overly hungry or tired and for a max of ten minutes unless she gets distressed xx could be worth a go x

 

[caz_hills]

Thanks ladies. I keep trying to get her to latch but she gets so distressed and upset. That's why I've persisted with pumping as st least I feel I'm still giving her the best milk. But all I do is feed, pump, stetilise and my son who is five has no time from me. The other day he said 'mummy you need to pump' and I felt so bad for him. If she could latch it would be so much better.

I just see the pumping ending as it's draining me so much and starting to make me feel really low. I had PND with my son and so far I've been feeling great but the last few days have been low and I don't want to end up like I did last time putting pressure on myself and making myself unwell.

Sorry, doesn't help that it's the middle of the night!!!

 

[EverythingXd]

Hun you've done brilliantly to pump for a month, it's so time consuming especially with another little one. Did you see a breastfeeding specialist? Perhaps there might be a physical issue preventing breastfeeding (like flat nipple, or tongue-tie)... whatever the reason though, you should not feel guilty - you fed that little baby exclusively for 9 months while she was growing inside you

If you feel like you might succumb to PND again, breastmilk is not as important as your mental wellbeing. You've given your baby the best start and you should be so proud

 

[Twag]

You have done amazingly for your baby to pump for as long as you have do not feel guilty harder said then done happy mummy happy baby as long as she is fed that is all that matters don't make yourself ill doing it

And the sadness of it being your last yes that is normal I am still in a way mourning the fact that I will never be pregnant or have a baby again but I know that my family is complete and really I do not want to have another it is just that feeling I guess

BIG

 

[claireanddaz]

I feel exactly the same i have a 5 year old and a 17 week old and had miscarriages in between. I just cant get rid of the feeling i want another baby its crazy because i only wanted two children but the feeling is so strong i hope it goes away soon! I had a harder pregnancy second time and i didnt enjoy it but its all forgotten now and my c section recovery was harder this time but it still doesnt stop the feelings of wanting another baby.
My sil is pregnant and one of my friends which doesnt help the constant broody feelings.
I regret not trying to breastfeed my first and failing to feed my second i still best myself up about it every day when i see people breastfeeding out and about i wish i'd tried harder, my husband wouldnt let me me have anymore children anyway he's happy with two and so am i but feeling sad is normal i think.