Last night...

[FemmeFatal]

I had the most vivid yet depressing dream. Many of the details were lost upon waking, but the disorienting feeling that accompanies such vividness was left. In this dream I was pregnant (the first pregnancy dream I have had in a couple months). The early portion of the pregnancy is such a blur. Where my memory recalls, I was laying on the table in the middle of an ultrasound at 18 weeks on the dot. I remember thinking how disappointed that I hadn't been scheduled for a 12 week scan which made this the first (and last) scan I received. Despite that disappointment, just the sight of my baby wiggling and dancing around on the screen filled me with more joy than can be described so simply. I lay there with a smile covering my face as the tech. proceeded to tell me that I was carrying a healthy baby girl. From there my memory trails off until I am glowing at full term and in labor. Only traces of pain remain in my mind. What shines through with perfect clarity is laying in the hospital bed cradling my baby girl, Amelia. OH was holding the both of us as close as we could get and the smile on his face looking down at our little girl brought tears to my eyes.

Needless to say I soon awoke and a wave of depression set in. It was too vivid not to be real... but of course it wasn't real at all.

 

[happynbubbly]

I've had baby dreams too, hang in there. It's hard sometimes, but maybe it was a prophetic dream of something in the future yet to come?

 

[FemmeFatal]

It really is hard to withstand at times. I can only wish that this dream will become my reality soon. I told myself that I would put the symptom spotting and baby wishing behind me for now, but it's things like this that make me hold my abdomen and just wish.