Late 20 week scan in the a.m.- And suffering from depression.

[jzgrace]

Im looking forward to my scan in the a.m. I've been feeling baby move for over a month now. And I do giggle and smile when I feel baby move. Though im having trouble with depression. Very sad for a week straight crying and feeling like not wanting to go on. But the thought of my baby and feeling him/her moving snaps me out of it really fast. For the past two days ive been just a lump. No expression, no excitement. Just being. Im scared because ive never had this in previous pregnancies. And I read that it leads to ppd. Im terrified of that. I dont want anything interfering with bonding with my newborn. Anyone with depression during pregnancy go on to deliver and not have ppd??
I talked to one of my nurses today and will be making an appt with a local counselor. Just could use happy stories from people who have been through it.

 

[Laylagirl]

I suffer from depression also... Im 25 weeks and my doctor has put me in a group since she says I cant take anti depressants. I start september 29...hopefully it helps. I get lots of anxiety and I think my husband is cheating on me. I just always think it. I haven't caught him, but my mind comes up with all of these ways and ideas of how he can accomplish it. Its very harmful for me, but Im hoping I can get a handle in it. I hope you can also. I don't know about ppd, but for now, I just want to take it day by day.

 

[jzgrace]

It really is awful to feel this way during what is supposed to be a happy time. I also have had the same feelings about my husband. Tho it would be impossible because we are literally with each other 24/7. It must be past experiences that cause these intrusive thoughts. I hope that you will be feeling better soon. I just replied to your nickname post. Dont feel petty it would bother me too. But like I said you can look at it as a compliment. And you know baby hector (with your husbands traights and looks) will be born soon

 

[Laylagirl]

Thank you.... I really do love my husband, but Im always fearing he will cheat or leave, just be plain disrespectful. I feel like Ive always dealt with depression in some form and the anxiety gets bad sometimes. I am happy about the baby coming, but scared also. Im starting to disconnect from my husband as well. Je asks me everyday about it. And tells me that I'm distant....which I am. Its a protection mechanism of mine. Is your husband supportive of you and your feelings?

 

[jzgrace]

I would think that a cheating husband wouldn't care if his wife was distant , I would think he would want it that way so he doesnt feel as guilty or have to answer questions. My husband is loving at times but mostly I dont feel loved by him. Its not one of those loves that you feel the pounding in your chest and just feel so loved. We just got married and I feel like its a huge mistake. I know it isnt going to last. I do love him but im not inlove with him. He is not supportive when I tell him how im feeling relationship wise. But when I get really broken up and try to isolate myself he tries to help. Ive taken my rings off and looked into annulment. We make better friends with benefits than life partners.

 

[Laylagirl]

I would think that a cheating husband wouldn't care if his wife was distant , I would think he would want it that way so he doesnt feel as guilty or have to answer questions. My husband is loving at times but mostly I dont feel loved by him. Its not one of those loves that you feel the pounding in your chest and just feel so loved. We just got married and I feel like its a huge mistake. I know it isnt going to last. I do love him but im not inlove with him. He is not supportive when I tell him how im feeling relationship wise. But when I get really broken up and try to isolate myself he tries to help. Ive taken my rings off and looked into annulment. We make better friends with benefits than life partners.

awwww.. Im sorry you're feeling that way... How long have you been married? Is he an unemotional guy? Maybe thats why he doesn't seem supportive.. My husband is not the most emotional guy, but he tries to step it up when I explain my feelings and even though I know he doesn't always mean to be unemotional, I know its the way he was raised... But he does try.. Sometimes I think he asks about my distance just so he can try to keep his homelike drama free so he can mess around outside... IDK... I just know that I hate feeling like that sometimes...

My husband actually just bought me my rings in May...we got married in December and I was so incredibly shocked we did... I always wanted to be married to him and never though he would... NO ONE ever thought he would... SOmetimes I think he's the one thinking it was a huge mistake and he's not in love with me.. He doest say any of this, but its my negativity that takes those thoughts over...

I have been where you are as far as feelings of making a huge mistake. I was married before I met my husband. 2004. I felt like I made the biggest mistake. BUT he was abusive... and NOT SUPPORTIVE. he paid the bills so he felt like only he was entitled to anything. If i was unhappy, I didn't have the right. I knew I would not live the rest of my life this way.

We divorced in 2007. I met my husband in 2011...and he was everything I ever wanted in a man... I worship the ground he walks on and I don't know why. No one caught my eye after my divorce until I met my husband.... bleh... I hate feeling the way I do..

Do you think it could be your pregnancy hormones? MAybe you ARE in love with him, but the pregnancy makes you anti-him? Have you talked this whole thing out? SOmetimes when you have the conversation out loud with someone, you hear all the reasons you have in your head, and sometimes they may or may not make sense once you've said them out loud....

I wish we were all sitting in a room talking and maybe we wouldn't feel so bad.. lol because talking is the key...

 

[Laylagirl]

And looking forward to hearing about your scan tomorrow.... do you know if its a boy or girl yet?

 

[noon_child]

I wasn't depressed while pregnant but I have felt depressed and wondered if I loved my OH. It is so hard to tell the difference between you "real" feelings and when it is just the depression talking, so please don't give up on your relationship till you have a handle on how your depression is affecting your thought processes. I didn't really enjoy or "love" anything while depressed.

I know you are statistically more likely to get ppd but it isn't a given. Also, because you are aware of it as a possibility, you are much more likely to get the help you need if it does progress to pod and once not pregnant you have more options in terms of medication.

 

[jzgrace]

I know its not the hormones. I felt this way before I got pregnant. We have been married since july 5th. Been together for over 4years. I used to worship the ground he walks on and hang on every word he said. But he has proven to me that he is not a good husband or boyfriend for that matter. He really has issues that I thought I could deal with. But ive found his issues run deeper than I could have imagined. He is a REALLY nice man to everyone else. Not violent, mostly compassionate. But like I said....toward everyone but me. I have come to resent him. I see right through his bullshit. Its sad to say but true. It would be nice to have a group to talk to in person. People who can relate.
I have to be up in 4 and a half hours for my scan. I will find out then the gender .....I hope. I have to drink a ton of water before I go. And I want to eat a couple bananas so t baby will be moving around so they dont say "we weren't able to see gender". I cant wait to talk to a counselor too. I really need that.

 

[noon_child]

He is a REALLY nice man to everyone else. Not violent, mostly compassionate. But like I said....toward everyone but me. I have come to resent him.

OK that's different. If he's violent and withholds compassion it isn't that you're just 'not suited' - he's abusive! Are you scared he could hurt your child? Getting counselling will I hope help you feel better but it won't change your life situation unless he sees a problem and is willing to get counselled too. If he is abusive you owe it to your baby to get somewhere safe.

 

[jzgrace]

I wasn't depressed while pregnant but I have felt depressed and wondered if I loved my OH. It is so hard to tell the difference between you "real" feelings and when it is just the depression talking, so please don't give up on your relationship till you have a handle on how your depression is affecting your thought processes. I didn't really enjoy or "love" anything while depressed.

I know you are statistically more likely to get ppd but it isn't a given. Also, because you are aware of it as a possibility, you are much more likely to get the help you need if it does progress to pod and once not pregnant you have more options in terms of medication.

Thanks. I will be talking to a counselor soon. And I can say 100% that it will need to be couples counseling for anything to work with us. But he needed couples counceling with his ex too. So im pretty sure he is the one that needs most of the help as far as relationships go. I will need the help for how screwed my head is from his manipulation. Thanks again

 

[Laylagirl]

looking forward to hearing from you tomorrow!

 

[jzgrace]

He is a REALLY nice man to everyone else. Not violent, mostly compassionate. But like I said....toward everyone but me. I have come to resent him.

OK that's different. If he's violent and withholds compassion it isn't that you're just 'not suited' - he's abusive! Are you scared he could hurt your child? Getting counselling will I hope help you feel better but it won't change your life situation unless he sees a problem and is willing to get counselled too. If he is abusive you owe it to your baby to get somewhere safe.

I was gojng to change the wording. He isnt violent toward anyone. But he is compassionate...toward others. Just not me. Im not afraid of him harming us physically. Emotionally...is a different story. Which can be just as harmful.

 

[Dawnyybus]

I've been told in suffering with ante-natal depression and it can lead to post-natal depression. I have a history of stress, depression and anxiety but didn't expect them to make an appearance during pregnancy. I've just had to leave my job because of how they were treating me because I'm pregnant. I'm now more isolated then I was before and there is nothing I can do about it... I have an appointment with some counsellor people tomorrow but I've seen counsellor's before and they never do anything so I don't know what to think... Xxxx

 

[jzgrace]

I've been told in suffering with ante-natal depression and it can lead to post-natal depression. I have a history of stress, depression and anxiety but didn't expect them to make an appearance during pregnancy. I've just had to leave my job because of how they were treating me because I'm pregnant. I'm now more isolated then I was before and there is nothing I can do about it... I have an appointment with some counsellor people tomorrow but I've seen counsellor's before and they never do anything so I don't know what to think... Xxxx

Its amazing how some people can be toward another. Someone who treats a pregnant woman badly has serious issues. Im glad you got out of that environment. Ive seen counselors too. And it just seems like they write everything down but dont really do much asude from listen. Sometimes a good venting session can help. I hope things go well today at your appointment.

 

[jzgrace]

Had my scan today. Baby is perfectly healthy. And found out its a boy.

 

[Laylagirl]

Had my scan today. Baby is perfectly healthy. And found out its a boy.

Congrats!!! Im having a boy also!! Im happy for you!