MissChristal
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- Nov 21, 2011
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Sorry girls.. I'm just needing to get this off my chest. I always find that it's easier to let go of my emotions by talking/writing about it.
I'm currently 1 week late for AF, yet I keep getting one BFN after another. My heart just can't take seeing another one. Just some back info... For years my DH and I had been ttc and some years back I just stopped having periods. I found out last year I had a pituitary tumor(base of the brain) and they wanted to put me on medication to shrink down the tumor yet I would most likely end up having to take it for the rest of my life. I didn't want to do that because my DH and I were dead set on starting a family and I didn't want to pollute my body with medications that wouldn't be safe for our unborn child (if we ever conceived) so I opted for surgery. 1 month later we got married... and I started my period that same day! lol I didn't know if it was a cruel joke from the man upstairs or a gift from the heavens (you don't ovulate without periods, right?) 4 months later (February 24th) we found out I was pregnant! I was so excited but on April 9th at our first ultrasound we learned that our little angel didn't have a heartbeat. A missed miscarriage. I passed him/her naturally at home, will DH by my side, on April 19th. We took a few months off to recuperate, physically and emotionally. We are once again ttc. My cycles are back to normal (at least they were) and now I'm a week late and getting all these BFNs. Our 1 year wedding anniversary is in a week and a half (10/22) and I'm hoping my prayer will be answered in my favor so I could surprise DH. Usually I don't freak out when I get BFNs. I'm usually very patient and the type to just "go with it". I just can't help but to think about what I would be doing at this very moment if I was still pregnant. We would have been meeting our precious baby soon... my due date was November 4th. 2 days before my late father's birthday. He passed away Sept. 2010. I'm just so emotional right now. I'm praying that the tumor didn't grow back. Hopefully, I'm pregnant or this is just an off month. I know things will work themselves out. All I have to do is stay strong and keep faith that our prayers will one day be answered. The pain, the suffering, the constant BFNs and spending all this time hoping and wishing will be worth it the instant our (future) daughter or son is in our arms.
Once again ladies... I'm so very sorry for putting this on you guys, but I just needed to get it out. For those who are going through something similar and you need some support or want to just let it out... I'm hear to listen, or shall I say read.
I'm currently 1 week late for AF, yet I keep getting one BFN after another. My heart just can't take seeing another one. Just some back info... For years my DH and I had been ttc and some years back I just stopped having periods. I found out last year I had a pituitary tumor(base of the brain) and they wanted to put me on medication to shrink down the tumor yet I would most likely end up having to take it for the rest of my life. I didn't want to do that because my DH and I were dead set on starting a family and I didn't want to pollute my body with medications that wouldn't be safe for our unborn child (if we ever conceived) so I opted for surgery. 1 month later we got married... and I started my period that same day! lol I didn't know if it was a cruel joke from the man upstairs or a gift from the heavens (you don't ovulate without periods, right?) 4 months later (February 24th) we found out I was pregnant! I was so excited but on April 9th at our first ultrasound we learned that our little angel didn't have a heartbeat. A missed miscarriage. I passed him/her naturally at home, will DH by my side, on April 19th. We took a few months off to recuperate, physically and emotionally. We are once again ttc. My cycles are back to normal (at least they were) and now I'm a week late and getting all these BFNs. Our 1 year wedding anniversary is in a week and a half (10/22) and I'm hoping my prayer will be answered in my favor so I could surprise DH. Usually I don't freak out when I get BFNs. I'm usually very patient and the type to just "go with it". I just can't help but to think about what I would be doing at this very moment if I was still pregnant. We would have been meeting our precious baby soon... my due date was November 4th. 2 days before my late father's birthday. He passed away Sept. 2010. I'm just so emotional right now. I'm praying that the tumor didn't grow back. Hopefully, I'm pregnant or this is just an off month. I know things will work themselves out. All I have to do is stay strong and keep faith that our prayers will one day be answered. The pain, the suffering, the constant BFNs and spending all this time hoping and wishing will be worth it the instant our (future) daughter or son is in our arms.
Once again ladies... I'm so very sorry for putting this on you guys, but I just needed to get it out. For those who are going through something similar and you need some support or want to just let it out... I'm hear to listen, or shall I say read.
I know I always wish extra hard for a BFP around anniversaries and holidays, and it just makes it more sad when I get my BFN. I'm trying not to but it's so hard!
I want this to be as memorable and enjoyable as possible, not stressful!
