Latest you told parents? I can't do it!!

callmedan

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I'm currently 14+1 and still haven't told my mum! I just can't do it! Every time I try it just won't come out... I'm 24 and married, own our home so in a great position with stability and financially, I just feel so nervous!
We are close too so it's not that, I just can't get the words out and I don't feel confident enough to just give her the scan pic
Any advice?
:flower:
 
What is it that you are scared of? Maybe good baby reveals and see if it comes up with a good idea to surprise her.
 
I didn't want to tell anyone I ended up telling my mil first because she lives out of state and she started planning a trip to see us and we were worried she wouldn't be able to come when the baby is born. I told my mom a few weeks later and I really didn't want to either. Just wasn't ready for the attention. But it was like ripping off a bandaid I just got it over with and now I just have to filter out the constant vitamin reminders and name suggestions. Aside from our closest friends we told everyone else at nineteen weeks when we found out the gender. I currently have a pile of boxes of gifts that were sent to us so there is an upside to telling people. I'm shocked at how generous my family has been so far.
 
I was fine with telling my mum - everyone else however, I've been awful at. I have just been gritting my teeth and throwing my scan pictures at them (or making my husband tell them ;) )
 
I was like this when I had my first. My mum really kept us disciplined (in a good way!) so when I was pregnant with my first, I was married, working and I was 30 but felt like I'd done something naughty and had to just spill it out...I was so nervous but that may be because I don't always open up to my mum too
 
I was 21 when i had my 1st. My mum was excited and has reacted the same each time. This time though I wasn't ready to tell her or any family until i was 13 weeks as we didn't plan this baby and I'd told everyone we definitely were not having any more lol
 
We didn't tell my MIL, and weren't going to until she just happened to see me with a big 'ol bump. She has no interest in being part of our life so there was no point in telling her. She lives with husbands sister though and overheard the girls talking about my pregnancy. She never even called my husband. Your situation is totally different though. Your mom is going to be thrilled!!! Xmas is soon.. perfect time to do a fun surprise. We're doing our gender reveal at Xmas with a big box of helium balloons in corresponding color and let the smallest kids open it.
 
I was the same when I was pregnant with my second. I didn't tell my mom until I was 15 weeks because I was freaking out about it myself. Mainly because our first was just a baby and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle another. I felt so much better after telling her though.
 
I hated telling people, not because I was ashamed or anything, but mostly because I don't really like the attention. And then having to have the same conversation over and over again with each person I told was such a pain. I new it had to be done so I just decided to rip the bandaid off and call everyone one right after another. I told immediate family and my best friends, and anyone else has just found out if I happen to see them.
 
I was the exact same! We were about 13 weeks when I told her (we didn't tell anyone until 12 weeks) - I am super close to my mum but she is a worrier and was going away on holiday, we told them the night they got back.

I physically couldn't tell her as I was sort of ... Embarrassed maybe? Despite being 26, a homeowner and in a long term relationship with a good career. Instead, I wrote "I'm going to be a big brother" on a t shirt and put it on the dog. My OH had to read it out as I went speechless!

My mum was shocked but delighted and it felt so much better not having to hide it any more.
 
This is really funny that you've brought this up, I thought I must be the only grown adult to have this issue!

We're currently on baby #3... and it has been varying degrees of awkward telling my parents with each pregnancy.

With our first, we literally got pregnant the second we were married (I was 27, we'd already been in a relationship for 4 years, were living together, and owned our own home) and made the announcement when we got back from our honeymoon, as DH's parents and my parents were together. We bought them all individual "grandma" and "grandpa" gifts (I got my mom the book, "Chicken soup for the grandmother's soul") and told them we wanted to thank them all for their help with the wedding... and when they opened the gifts everyone was really enthusiastic. BUT, I'm sure we only got that reaction because my MIL and FIL were there who immediately jumped up and started laughing and hugging everyone and totally took the awkwardness away. DH and I had to work ourselves up to making the announcement and I took 2 additional HPT's the day we told them JUST TO BE SURE. The following days were really awkward as my mom made all sorts of weird comments (like, "well you know, maybe you're not really pregnant...") and they just didn't know how to deal with it.

With our second baby, we had to tell my parents via Skype (we live in a different country than they do) and we had a "big brother in training" shirt for my DS, and when we told my parents they sort of paused and looked at each other and said, "well, I guess we'll have to cancel our vacation plans for next year so we can visit you instead..." and that was about it.

With our third baby, we did the same thing. Told my parents via Skype with a "Big sister" shirt for my DD and while they DID manage to congratulate us first, it just got really awkward and they changed the subject soon afterwards.

Like some other PP's though, I've never had an "open relationship" with either of my parents where we could talk about personal things and I think they just can't wrap their heads around the fact that DH and I (obviously) DTD and that equals babies.

The first announcement was the most nerve-wracking (I also had the feeling like I'd done something naughty!) but after that I just accepted that I was doing it more for me than I was for them, and DH and I like to laugh about how awkward my parents are now. Makes for a good story to tell friends ;-)

My advice though, would be the longer you put it off the more difficult it will be, and depending on how awkward your parents might be, the further along you are the more difficult it might be for them to process. My parents definitely needed the time to 'adjust' to the idea so we've always told them pretty early on to avoid any issues later. But that's just what has worked for us!
 
This is really funny that you've brought this up, I thought I must be the only grown adult to have this issue!

We're currently on baby #3... and it has been varying degrees of awkward telling my parents with each pregnancy.

With our first, we literally got pregnant the second we were married (I was 27, we'd already been in a relationship for 4 years, were living together, and owned our own home) and made the announcement when we got back from our honeymoon, as DH's parents and my parents were together. We bought them all individual "grandma" and "grandpa" gifts (I got my mom the book, "Chicken soup for the grandmother's soul") and told them we wanted to thank them all for their help with the wedding... and when they opened the gifts everyone was really enthusiastic. BUT, I'm sure we only got that reaction because my MIL and FIL were there who immediately jumped up and started laughing and hugging everyone and totally took the awkwardness away. DH and I had to work ourselves up to making the announcement and I took 2 additional HPT's the day we told them JUST TO BE SURE. The following days were really awkward as my mom made all sorts of weird comments (like, "well you know, maybe you're not really pregnant...") and they just didn't know how to deal with it.

With our second baby, we had to tell my parents via Skype (we live in a different country than they do) and we had a "big brother in training" shirt for my DS, and when we told my parents they sort of paused and looked at each other and said, "well, I guess we'll have to cancel our vacation plans for next year so we can visit you instead..." and that was about it.

With our third baby, we did the same thing. Told my parents via Skype with a "Big sister" shirt for my DD and while they DID manage to congratulate us first, it just got really awkward and they changed the subject soon afterwards.

Like some other PP's though, I've never had an "open relationship" with either of my parents where we could talk about personal things and I think they just can't wrap their heads around the fact that DH and I (obviously) DTD and that equals babies.

The first announcement was the most nerve-wracking (I also had the feeling like I'd done something naughty!) but after that I just accepted that I was doing it more for me than I was for them, and DH and I like to laugh about how awkward my parents are now. Makes for a good story to tell friends ;-)

My advice though, would be the longer you put it off the more difficult it will be, and depending on how awkward your parents might be, the further along you are the more difficult it might be for them to process. My parents definitely needed the time to 'adjust' to the idea so we've always told them pretty early on to avoid any issues later. But that's just what has worked for us!



Lol made me chuckle!! I remember when I told my mum I just said I did a pregnancy test nd it was positive and she replied with "where did you get the test from?" Like I had gone and purchased something just for adults 😂😂😂 (I was 30!)

I'm now more open with my brothers (don't have any sisters and I'm the eldest) and that helps to be able to talk in the family but I still don't always tell my mum things because her reaction is usually the wrong one.

Good luck to op.
 
It was nerve wracking for me to tell our family members about my pregnancy, too. I'm a married 32 year old homeowner. My husband and I both have great jobs. Both of our families had been pressuring us for a couple of years to have kids, but I was still so nervous to tell them our news. I didn't tell them until I was 13 weeks. I found that it was easier for me to give gifts, etc. that told them our news than to actually have to tell them myself. I bought Alex and Ani bracelets for my mother and MIL that had a "grandmother" charm, and tied on a card that said "You're going to be a grandmother." Since when I wanted to tell them our news did not fall on a holiday or near either of their birthdays, I just handed them discreet bags and told them that I saw something at the store that made me think of them, and I couldn't resist buying them. For the rest of the in laws, my husband said that he wanted to take a group picture, and on the count of three, he told everyone to say "Andi's pregnant." He actually took a video of their reactions, and not a photo. All of those things made it so much easier for me to tell everyone our news.

Good luck!
 
I haven't told anyone yet, not even my OH!

Last 2 times I told my family at a gathering when I was 5 weeks, they were really happy. Told my mum at 5 weeks with Sophie, everyone else in my family at 6 weeks, my MIL at 20 weeks and my FIL at 30 weeks.

It is awkward telling people you are pregnant, all I do is picture them imagining me having sex!
 
I haven't told anyone yet, not even my OH!

Last 2 times I told my family at a gathering when I was 5 weeks, they were really happy. Told my mum at 5 weeks with Sophie, everyone else in my family at 6 weeks, my MIL at 20 weeks and my FIL at 30 weeks.

It is awkward telling people you are pregnant, all I do is picture them imagining me having sex!

Same! I forgot to say, my dad aske how I knew I was pregnant because he didn't know what to say. My sister and I just cringed. My OH wanted to die. He asked if we took a test then asked how I knew to take a test! Lmao! We were all like uuuuh there's some signs usually which make you test haha.

My mum categorically told us for years that she is too young to be a granny (she's in her mid fifties! Lol!) whereas my dad was desperate to be a grandparent. OHs parents already have two grandkids so wasn't such a big deal to them. My mum and dad honestly want to see LO every single day now (they don't actually see her every day - more like three times a week) and they are both ecstatic.
 
Ha love these replies, and so glad to see I'm not the only one!
It is just the massive awkwardness, and saying those words "I'm pregnant" makes my insides curl up haha the couple of friends I have told I've just massively hinted at till they've twigged
Also I actually quite like it being a secret, that we have this amazing thing that nobody really knows about!
However it's getting late now and I reeeeeally need to tell her! Gonna try my best some time this week *criiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnngggggeeeeeee* :haha:
 
It's great that so many others have felt the same awkwardness. There are so many exciting pregnancy reveals on the internet and I'm over here wanting to keep it secret until the baby just magically shows up. I'm very close to my mom but I just didn't want to tell her either time. I did at 10 weeks this time as my husband was leaving town unexpectedly and I was very ill with morning sickness and I really needed help--thankfully she lives in town. She had already suspected (because I was ill) but it's just an uncomfortable conversation. I showed up to a family reunion obviously pregnant a few weeks ago so some family found out that way, and more found out at Thanksgiving when they saw my belly. I hate seeing people now that don't know I'm pregnant as it's obvious and I just wait to for them to say something... Or not, and then I have to be all, "uh, so we have some news..." Duh. We're married, kids are planned, there's nothing weird or unconventional about our situation and I still find it uncomfortable announcing. I'm excited about having another baby, but really, it's something people have been doing forever, so I don't think anyone else needs to think it's a big deal. Maybe I'm weird...
 
My OH didn't want to tell his mum until I went into labour, though I think she may have noticed I was pregnant by then, haha.
 
Well I did it tonight! Family very happy and excited and I'm sooo glad to get it out :) :)
 

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