leave things as they are?

[teal]

So as you might know I've not spoken to my ex since I found out I was pregnant (the middle of June). Things ended between us when I refused to have a termination. He has made it clear he doesn't want anything to do with the baby.

I've had a random text from him here and there mainly saying that I've ruined his life and he'll never be happy again. I've not heard anything from him since the beginning of August.

He's now apparently changed his phone number so I can't contact him which I do feel uncomfortable with knowing that he can contact me since my number hasn't changed. I'm fed up of every time I get a missed call from an unknown number - I'm just left wondering if it's him.

Anyway - was going to leave things as they were. If he wanted to contact me then he has my number and he has my email address.

One of my friends suggested that I send him an email as a way of giving him a chance to change his mind.

I didn't think it was a good idea since he had already made it clear he doesn't want to know.

Sometimes I just wonder if I'm doing the right thing. I would be happy if I never seen him again but I know it's not about me.

What would you do? I thought I was doing enough by leaving ways for him to contact me - unlike him who has changed his number. Would you just leave things as they are? If he has already made it clear he doesn't want to be involved what's the point in me to keep trying.

I hope this makes sense and I'm sorry it's so long

 

[lou_w34]

I think youve done all you can... and should do.
If i was you, i would personally leave it how it is... in fact id probably go one step further and change my number aswell heehee, just leave the email as it is! lol

The fact is, he knows your number, and if he wanted to get in touch, he would have. If he wants to change his mind further on down the line, then he can get hold of you.

Try not too worry about him Id just concentrate on you and baby for now

 

[expecting09]

He's got ways of contacting you if he really wanted to, I think I would just leave things as they are

 

[teal]

Thanks for the replies girls xx

 

[purpledahlia]

yup i agree. I would leave the communication doors open so he can get in touch if he wants, If - god forbid - it got taken to court etc.. he would loose points for changing his number and effectively stopping you being able to get in touch, however you havnt changed it so you would be seen as not stopping him if you get me, So i wouldnt change your number id just leave it.

If he knows when your due etc then id leave it up to him... why should you run after him?

I would tho, let him know when baby is here. Just to be civil and so you can tell baby that you DID let him know, if he chooses to ignore it thats up to him. he'll miss out!

 

[teal]

He doesn't know when I'm due - he's never asked

I think that makes sense to at least tell him when the baby is here. I'll just have to email him - assuming that he hasn't deleted his email account. I guess that's all I can really do.
xx

 

[lou_w34]

Email him when baby is here, and save a copy of it, so if he ever does turn around and say you didnt inform him, you have that as proof that you did

 

[sweetlullaby]

I would just leave things the way they are. you've done all you can and its up to him now, maybe send him an email letting him know when your due so as you know yourself that you done absolutely everything xx

 

[purpledahlia]

yeah i'd maybe do that actually, Just send him one but be very blunt, let him know when the baby is due and leave it at that. let him make the next move. Then you can always say you let him know.... he cant ever say he didnt know etc. x

 

[McLovin]

I would maybe mention in the email, the fact that you are emailing him to "offer him an olive branch" ...... ? Men do really need it spelt out for them! : )
Doesn't mean you still can't be blunt with the rest of the contents.

x

 

[Welshcob]

I agree with the others, leave things as they are. He has means to contact you should he wish. I have done the same thing - mind you - in my case, he took a court order asking me not to contact him. I have left an email address open to him and left a message on messenger saying, to use this method to contact me should he wish. But hopefully he stays away for ever...

 

[teal]

I appreciate everyones advice xx

I think the email sounds like a good idea but I'm not sure whether to email him soonish to let him know when the baby is due or to wait and email him to let him know when the baby is here.

welshcob - that's something I was worried about incase he reacts badly to me emailing him

xx

 

[Welshcob]

I appreciate everyones advice xx

I think the email sounds like a good idea but I'm not sure whether to email him soonish to let him know when the baby is due or to wait and email him to let him know when the baby is here.

welshcob - that's something I was worried about incase he reacts badly to me emailing him

xx

Hi Teal
He might react badly, but I think its a bit unusual. However he could do the same as mine. In which case I think the best option is to just leave a message on say your profile to say, that you are leaving the contact up to him. I know its very hard though and again, I don't know if you want him on your LO birth certificate. If you don't then its probably best not to say anything until after LO born and registered. Could get messy if he decides he wants to be on there and you don't want him on it.
Feel free to PM me if you want. Sending you a big hug. I honestly think you have done all you can at the moment and that he has two options to get hold of you. His changing his number is pretty clear that he does not want to hear from you at this time.

Hugs xxx

 

[tinkerbellita]

I'm sorry to hear this, you're practically in the same boat as me. I met this amazing guy in spain, i fell pregnant very quickly, in less than a month. He stopped talking to me because i wouldnt have an abortion either. And he also changed his number and blocked me from messaging him on a spanish networking site. I'm devastated and came back to the uk.

I have since been in contact with his sister but not heard anything from him in over a month. And she said that she will have to honour her brothers decision, which is fair enough and that's where the contact stopped.

I dont know what I'd do in your case. In mine I'm leaving it be for the time being, but gonna mail the sister the pic of my second scan tomorrow as a reality check for them.