Legal advice?

[linley]

I'll try to keep this short..

Basically, yesterday I told FOB I don't want anymore contact with him. In the 3 months since we split up, I've found out he was cheating on me, he's lied, kept secrets (important things concerning our son, whoever's bed he's hopping out of is none of my business) and tried to maintain some kind of control over me by trying to convince me he's not happy, that he misses being a family etc etc (see previous threads of mine, I whine on a lot lol). On Saturday he moved his internet girlfriend in (they've been together since April), then picked LO up on Sunday, he spent all day up there with her and FOB never found the time to let me know. So enough was enough, I'm fed up starting to feel good about us getting on then he gives me one of his speeches or I find out he's keeping things from me. That's it, no more contact, he's moved on with his life and if I'm not having anything to do with him, maybe I can move on with mine.

Obviously we both still want him to be involved with our son. So my mum very kindly offered to be the middle man, so to speak. She'll be the one who arranges when he sees LO, when he wants to know how he is, he can text her and she's been more than welcoming and civil to him. But he's refusing to deal with her. Apparently I'm "spitting the dummy out" because he's moved this girl in, not because he must have known for weeks and not bothered to tell me. His friends tell him I'm using my son to hurt him, and it sickens me that he believes them! And now he's threatening to go to a solicitor, assuming because I'm "stopping him" seeing LO.

So my question is this.. Does he have a case? I've provided a way for him to be in LO's life, it's not like we've disappeared off the face of the earth and left him with nothing. Surely this means I have no legal obligation to speak to him? He's just being childish, right? I laughed when I heard this was his plan but tbh I'm worrying now. His concern isn't with me, is it? As long as we're making access available, he doesn't need to be in my life, right? I really don't want to be told I can't move on properly.. Should I start googling lawyers?

Ha, this was meant to be short..

 

[Jennifurball]

Go to your local CAB. I have heard if you can get a letter sent to him (recorded delivery then he can't pretend he never saw it), and keep a copy, with your proposal, such as you are entitled to see LO anytime, with sufficient notice, but I wish for this to be through my mother etc etc.

You are not being unreasonable at all, I want to do the same thing, because it is bloody hard to move on when you are seeing/hearing from them all the time. Change your number and let your mum do the work for you.

 

[KayBea]

your being very reasonable..
your allowing him to see his son & your not 'spitting your dummy out'.. he is as hes not getting his own way.
that baby is yours, you carried him around for 9 months!!


men do pee me off!! grrrrr

like pp said go to your CAB first & see what they say. Send him a letter saying what you want. maybe you can have set days of hen he can see LO so LO knows what days he will see his dad & will be in a bit of a routine for it..

also state in the letter that if he lets LO down then a solicitor will be involved, its not fair on either LO of yourself if he suddenly says he cant have him on the days set because hes too busy shagging.

xxx

 

[linley]

Thank you my local CAB does a drop in on Friday so I'll go after my eye appointment, wait 12 hours and hopefully get the answers I want to hear.

Just a note, he used to text every day to see how LO is, he hasnt done in 2 days now..

 

[linley]

Sucker cant afford a freaking solicitor! Wth?! Might get one anyway..

 

[RaRalalala]

Well you're in Scotland so same laws will apply to you as they did to me (since england and wales can differ sometimes) and you can go to a solicitor and get legal aid which I did. What mine did was write to fob saying, that no I was not denying him access to LO, he was more than welcome to see her but in order to set something up he would have to get a solicitor to contact her. They would probably also agree that if your mother wanted to take over it was acceptable since it has nothing to do with you two, it's all about LO seeing their dad - which you're allowing. It's him being an awkward prick...men, honestly!

 

[linley]

Thank you, it's good to know someone else has been through it and it's gone well. Went to see him last night and it was made perfectly clear he can't afford a solicitor so hopefully it wont come to that but im ready if I have to.

 

[RaRalalala]

Well it won't cost you a penny if you're a single parent! Bottom line is though, you have the upper hand!

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

no! with my ex, they suggested that "one of our parents or close family" could be "a go between" so that we didn't have to have contact..

so i'd say he has no grounds at all.. as that was what was suggested by a solicitor.

Also i don't see why he needs to be in contact with you, if this is purely about his child?.. Surely if it's just about the child then this is a great solution if it's possible? As you don't have to deal with an ex?