Livid for my friend

[Ozzieshunni]

I'm really just looking for advice for my friend in the USA.

She left her husband a couple months after she found out she was pregnant and filed for divorce. Throughout her pregnancy, his attorney was harassing her, saying she wanted child support and custody settled before the child was born She got her own attorney and the harassment stopped.

Now, she has a lovely little girl and he's being a complete ass. He hasn't provided her with any support AT ALL and has given her no money. He tried to talk her down from the state mandated amount of child support as well. They have a court date set in May.

However, in the mean time, he is constantly texting her mother and her mother is so stressed she's losing weight. My friend is losing weight and trying to BF her little girl so this is no good. She's getting anxiety and is worried he's going to do something (he has anger issues).

Also, I used to be married to him. Thankfully got divorced without kids, but I know what he's like.

Can anyone help? Her lawyer says she's just going to have to ride it out until the court date, but that's not until May! I told her to set days and times for him to come, but I don't know what else to tell her! I'm so fucking close to emailing him myself, but I haven't had any contact with him since our divorce and I think that would just make things worse. He's making me so mad! Help????

 

[george83]

i'm not in the US so i don't know about all the legal side of it but i do know that when your in that situation with a new born baby no matter what any body says to you even the best advice is so hard to follow. Your friend just needs to do her best and try and focus on her baby and ignore everything else. It's so easy to say but almost impossible to do i know but eventually it will be for th best. If there are already professionals involved in sorting out arrangements she really needs to have no contact with him.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Yeah, I told her she needs to tell her doctor. It's not healthy for her to have so much anxiety. She did say now that the LO is here, she will fight tooth and nail for her so she's motivated and not letting him intimidate her.

 

[george83]

i think the doctors are a waste of time to be honest, i went to mine last week and told him i wasn't coping and he gave me sleeping tablets - tht was after i told him i was alone with the baby so i'm meant to take a sleeping tablet each night and who exactly will look after the baby when he wakes up in the night? I hope your firend's doctor is a lot more understanding xx

 

[newbie123]

I'm not sure what you're hoping a doctor can do. Stress isn't meant to be treated with medication. Maybe they could refer her to a therapist, but beyond that this isn't really in the medical whelm.

I'd look into getting a restraining order. Has her lawyer mentioned that as a possibility?

 

[ZombieQueen]

Sounds like she needs to document any harassing texts or voicemails. But if it were me, I'd change my number... Let the attorneys communicate things.. my ex and I aren't on horrible terms, nor does he have an anger issue, but I'm still changing my number and blocking him on Facebook. He can contact me via a special email address I set up for him. Plus that way everything he says to me will be documented just in case.