Living At Home, 19 years Old, Bf in The Army, Pregnant.

[Katiie]

Ok, first thing you should know, I have Poly Cystic Ovaries.
I've known since i was 16 that it would be very difficult for me to have children without doctors help. I also have a very low Folic Acid count in my blood.

Second thing you should know, I've been with my boyfriend / fiance since 21st April 2007, 3 years this april. We have recently got back together after a 9 month break and we got back together before I found out i was pregnant. Hes currently in the army and has been since June 2008. BASED In Germany.

Third thing, I live at home with both my parents, and my 2 brothers (we dont get on ) and my dad has always said, if i get pregnant while living under 'his' roof then I would get kicked out fact. And he would!

I found out i was pregnant on Monday, I dont get periods too often and I had really swore breasts, so i though just to make sure i would check to rule that out. I did 2 tests, both to my shock were positive. I brought a clear blue digital and what a shock, I was pregnant.

I told my boyfriend straight away over msn, at first he was shocked, but after showing him the test hes over the moon and really wants this... hes 21.
Where as i'm completely unsure, I love my dad and i dont want him to disown me. I told my mum and shes completely gutted and dissapointed in me, which kills me to say because shes one of my best friends. They wont support me.

I want this baby, and then again i think im too young, i live at home and i dont even have a job!

I have no idea what to do

 

[mummygiraffe]

hey love

i know your situation is difficult. Let me just give some advice it may or may not help.

I got pregnant when i had just turned 21 i was at uni and stuff but that was just another complication.

when i told my dad he reacted like your mum, he told me i was an idiot i had wrecked my whole life and my bf would hate me and never forgive me for ruining his life. he told me my only option was to get rid of it otherwise i was an absolute fool. made me cry and hurt like i'd never felt before, added to that teh bf was too chuffed either, asked me to get abortion etc. This went on for about 4-6 weeks from different people.

My decision in teh end was to keep the baby, my thoughts on this were that i knew based on knowing myself and my personality i would grieve forever if i did this. i also pondered the fact that an abortion might damage me, or what if i suffered early menopause (my mum had this so always got the fear), what if it was my only viable egg.

turns out everyone came round after this period and now love my daughter alot. now married with our 2nd on the way.

of course i cant tell you what will happen long term but i'm sure you would get support from someone in your family, if not bf family or outside help is available.

if you have PCOS i guess you need to consider for awhile. if you wanna chat Private Message me if you want.

Think about you and how it will effect you long term etc. Here for advice if you want

 

[Katiie]

Thank you so much, you really have made me open my eyes more about it, i really dont no how i would feel for the rest of my life , espeacially if i struggle getting pregnant in the future.. x

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Hi,

Never been in your situation but my advice would be do what you feel is right, so your dad will be mad but he will come round hun even if not for a while.

When did you want to have kids? How would your bf be able to help you if he's in Germany?

P.s The same thing happened to my mum, she was 21 when she fell pregnant with my older brother, my dad was in the army based in germany aswell, he came home on leave and they got married and he took her back with him.xxx

 

[AndysGirl09]

well congratz hunny!! I'm sure your family will come around sooner or later.
I'm also 19 and my boyfriend is 21 and in the Army. We're tryng for a baby.

 

[mommy2baby2]

I have been in your situation. I got pregnant with my first when I was 20, living with my parents, afraid of them and their opinions.

In the end, despite their disappointment, they accepted what had happened and helped me with my pregnancy. Regardless of their initial shock that is THEIR GRANDBABY growing inside of you. I don't know how to explain it, but it's something about becoming grandparents that makes you wish that your parents treated YOU like they treat your little one.

It'll take time for them to accept and come to terms with but 9 months is a good amount of time. And it's not that they are disappointed in you...they are disappointed in the dreams, aspirations and plans they had for you and your life....but just because you've falled pregnant, does NOT mean you cannot still have a life and accomplish any and all dreams/goals. It only means you're going to have a stroller en tow as well.

If you really are engaged, remind your parents of that, but be realistic about it all. He is in the military and unless he's going to start financially supporting you don't put much stock into it until it's proven he's reliable...love or not, you know need to start thinking of the long term.

That's my advice on the subject! I've been through it, the hardest part is the parents but they WILL come around!

 

[Tanikit]

Hang in there - it is going to be tough. My parents also told us that the worst thing possible would be to get pregnant before we were married. My sister did and at first my mother wanted her to marry her now ex bf.

Remember that at this point is their daughter they are worried about and disappointed in. They feel that it reflects on the way they brought you up when in actual fact they need to see things from your side too. And they need to remember that no matter what disappointment they feel, in the end inside you is their grandchild and therefore also a part of you.

Usually when parents realise this they do come round. In the meantime go easy on yourself and make sure you look after yourself and your baby while you are pregnant. The first trimester can be rough with all the hormones and also the family issues, so make sure to look after yourself.

 

[Chris77]

Congrats!

 

[aiimee12345]

hi hun... congrats! im 18.. wel be 19 when LO is born i live with my mom and dad and was sooo worried at first bout what they would say but they havent been too bad u just need to hope ur dad changes his mind.. it wil be his grandchild he should be pleased that u have got pregnant x

 

[needausername]

Hi, not sure if you have done it already but it might be worthwhile you posting in the teen section aswell. All the lovely girls there will have great advice for you.

Hope things work out the way you want xxx

 

[dizzy65]

 

[DreaminOfBaby]

Well Congrats & I hope everything works out for you. I'm sure your parents will eventually come around, at least your boyfriend is thrilled about it! I'm also living at home and just got a BFP. Good luck to you hun!

 

[randr2009]

hey i got pregnant when i was 15 had my son at 16,
both my parents disowned me but after 9 months they came around
now they cant get enough of my little boy