Living in fear of miscarriage and need advice.

[wheelz23]

Hello ladies!
I find that I am struggling. I am now 8w6d pregnant, I've seen my little peanut's heartbeat (159! so happy). This pregnancy so far has been scary. I started out finding out during my third week, and lived in panic of a chemical pregnancy. I then began spotting at week five, and found out I had a subchorionic hematoma. Week 7, I began gushing bright red blood. That's when we saw the baby with a strong heartbeat of 159, and the bleeding stopped that day, however I spotted for another week. Now I am SIX days bleed/spotting free. We have an ultrasound on the 25th, only six more days, and I can say I am totally nervous and freaked out. I'm exhausted and my boobs hurt, but these are the only symptoms I've had. Being totally honest? I feel as if miscarriages are more common than successful pregnancies. I am a healthy 23 year old woman. We were trying, so I had been taking my prenatals before we even got pregnant, and I have been overly cautious about eating habits to a point I have annoyed my family. Every cramp I get I stress, every time I go to pee I stress I'm going to be covered in blood again. So I guess what I'm trying to say is what helps? what gives? I've been praying nonstop. Any other mama's in this boat completely? I feel so stressed out and so helpless. And I know stress is not good for the baby, and then I stress that I'm stressed. I feel like I'm going in circles. Anyone have reaffirming thoughts? I need them so bad!

 

[BecksBabyB]

Hi,

I might not be the best to help, but I want you to know that it's not just you.
I'm exactly the same.
I had a mc last August and ever since I found out about my pregnancy at 4 weeks, I've been paranoid and so anxious. The anxiety hit again last night as my symptoms reduced a lot. The sickness almost went and my boobs aren't as sore.
I had a scan at 8w4d and saw I was expecting twins and both had heartbeats so I know all was ok back then and due to twins my symptoms have been crazy!!
I don't think I'll ever stop being anxious and I can't imagine how people who have experienced a lot of loss are feeling.
All we can do is take each day as it comes and be happy that we have one more day of being a mummy to our baby/ies.
Good luck and I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy
Bx

 

[SonnyH]

Honestly, these kind of boards really do make it seem like miscarriages etc are the norm but do bear in mind that the Internet draws those who have had issues for support. If you sail through pregnancies, you have no reason to post questions on the internet!

It's natural to be nervous but try to remember, around 80% of pregnancies are successful and around 20% that are not. Which are pretty good odds! Chances are, your baby will be totally fine! There is no reason to think you will miscarry, particularly if you haven't before. The bleeding must have been very worrying, but it's good they found the cause wasn't baby!

I felt very nervous about it but took the view that if I miscarried in the first trimester, it would be because there was something genetically wrong with baby and they would have never made it anyway. Absolutely nothing I could do about it, it's down to complete chance. And if it did happen, then I'd grieve and then try again when it was safe to do so.

That helped me get through the first 12 weeks. In the UK, we don't get any scans or anything until week 12, so you really do have to cross your fingers and carry on!

Stay positive, pregnancy has worries the whole way through and you'll go crazy if you can't switch off from it! Just try to do normal things, work, see friends, go out for dinner, laugh. Yes you are pregnant but life goes on too!

 

[peach81]

Thanks for that Sonny. I had a CP last year, and I've been anxious about this pregnancy, too. But I'm going to keep your words in mind to help me settle down.

 

[xdxxtx]

98% of pregnancies that reach 9 weeks along (so... tomorrow) end with the delivery of a healthy baby. Statistics can be pretty silly, but I LIVE by these numbers when I'm in early pregnancy.

Stress isn't bad for the baby, so go ahead and stress without stressing about being stressed. Keep busy to help this time fly by. I spent the first trimester of my first pregnancy researching all the best baby products and making huge lists of potential names for all of my future children. Oh, I had a great time. I also binge watched funny TV shows. Friends. Buffy. They kept me so involved in the storylines that I didn't even remember I was pregnant half the time. Probably not healthy, but it got me through it, and I got through the first trimester with a smile on my face. Have you seen "friends" or "Buffy"???

 

[peach81]

I also binge watched funny TV shows. Friends. Buffy. They kept me so involved in the storylines that I didn't even remember I was pregnant half the time. Probably not healthy, but it got me through it, and I got through the first trimester with a smile on my face. Have you seen "friends" or "Buffy"???

I've been a Buffy fanatic since I was 16.

 

[wheelz23]

I have never seen Buffy!!! I did however binge watch Friends, i LOVE that show! The 99% statistic is so nice! pregnancy is super scary sometimes. I work at an office job, so I think the extra brain time is not helping, plus I am super tired.

 

[xdxxtx]

Yeah, that's a lot of time to sit and think about the pregnancy. It's also a lot of time to think of cool names for any future babies. And names you'd NEVER use. I had a list of "funny" names like Amadeus.