Looks like I belong here now.

[miasmum2012]

Well me and father of baby have had a very rocky relationship, we were together for 9 months before I fell pregnant, he stayed with me another 3 months then left for absolutely no reason at all. During the time we weren't together he managed to get another girl pregnant and then asked for me back without even telling me about this other girl. I found out but he denied it and when he actually admitted it I still stayed with him (I'm such a mug).

Anyway its been going okay then on Friday I went out for a meal with my sister and a few friends, he rang me and because he could hear male voices said he was leaving me, got some of his things and left my house posting his key through :/. I found on his facebook (its permanently logged in on my laptop) asking the other girl back but I messaged her and she said shes not getting back with him because he was nasty to her too while they were together (HA!)

He came round yesterday to get his stuff, demanded that he come round right now when I hadn't had a chance to sort anything out, gave me an hour to sort his things out which I just left on the front porch. I phoned the police who said not to let him in which I didn't, he came with his nan and grandad who were all screaming on my front for about 20minutes before the police came, bearing in mind my daughter was in the house too :/ They started screaming at me that I was being pathetic, that all he'd done was split from me (haha he actually wrecked my house, left me in a load of debt, never looked after his daughter but there you go) I've kept some of his stuff like his computer to pay the bills I have whilst he was living here because he isn't giving me any money.

I'm so glad this time he hasn't come out of this smelling of roses The last time he split from me he had another girlfriend within weeks but at least I know now that she won't take him back

I just don't know whether I am entitled to sell his stuff to pay bills (oh he also says hes not giving any money towards our daughter even though he works part time and is on £120 a week) and what to do about access? When he lived here he never fed, played with or changed my daughters nappy and whenever he tried she just screams and doesn't even let him feed her, I have concerns aboutt whetther he can look after her and I would prefer initial contact in a contact centre but I don't know if he'll kick off about it and he knows where I live, think his family will too

I really don't know what to do :/

 

[SilasLove]

Huge dear.

It seems as if you have had a go at it and he sounds like a definite piece of work for sure.

As far as his visitation if you don't feel comfortable with him having her alone its obvious he has given you reasons to feel that way.

I am from US so really want give advice on where to start your whole process for support and visitation. But definitely wishing you the best.

 

[Mummy1995]

Big hugs hun, you seem a lot better off without him! I would seek legal advice from cab or somewhere about visitation As far as not providing for your daughter, he doesn't have a choice and is legally bound to until she is 18! So make a claim through csa xx

 

[Laura2919]

Sounds like your better off without him babe, I wouldn't worry too much he seems like he's just batting between you both..

 

[Lemonflower]

Contact CSA for maintenance.

With regards to his things I'd sell 'em! (wish I'd did that - fob stole from me!)
Not too sure where you stand legally with this though! :-/ lol

Visitation - don't have him in your home - try and organise supervised contact since he doesn't sound like the doting father.

He sounds like a right piece of work and you're gonna be so more better off without him.
Big hugs - chin up!

You took him back - at least you tried after everything he did.
Now that he's shown his true colours (again) you can move on (though it will be hard and painful) but at least you tried to make it work.

This is your new beginning

 

[miasmum2012]

thanks everyone

oh its definitely his loss, i didn't love him after he admitted he got that other girl pregnant, I was just scared of being alone and I really didn't want to share my daughter but tbh I feel alot better with him not being here

and yes i can sell his things, gonna enjoy that! hahaha

at least i can tell my daughter when shes older that she tried after everything that happened and at the end of the day daddy split up with mummy cos mummy got hungry and went out for a meal with her friend, pathetic loser lol

 

[emalou90]

i had to laugh hun, you seem like you've got a brain in that head of yours!
Get to cab and csa like people have already said. theyll help.

youve done the right thing by trying again the second time! Everyone deserves a second chance to redeem themselves unless obviously they are violent etc. he's shown what he's really like and wont change!

better off without. i wish you and your beautiful girl the best. keep strong and rely on family and friends to keep your head up through tough times xxxx

 

[teal]

Sounds like you're better off. I'd contact CSA about child maintenance if he's refusing to come to any agreement xx

 

[Jade--x]

You definitely sound better off hun and with 2 kids to pay for he won't be sticking around long. As far as cab go I tried to get an appointment with them and there was a 9 month waiting list!! So I rang up a local solicitor and they gave me a free 1 hour consultation to explain what had happened and she gave me legal advice and things. Maybe its worth giving someone local who deals with family law a call? Hope everything works out for you hun x