bloodbinds
Pip
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- Mar 2, 2009
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I posted not long ago about FOB saying he will come up to see us next month and that he was sorting out CSA. Well, i had a call from CSA yesterday and decided to talk to him about it, and as usual things got a little heated...
Me: Hey, i trust that you are getting stuff with the CA sorted, but just to let you know i got a call off their legal team saying they are starting legal proceedings today and gathering the evidence to take you to court and that they have informed you of this and you have chosen not to get in touch with them.
FOB: They sent me one asking about sorting it, nothing about court. Why dod you send it 3 times?
Me: Did I? :-S Dunno. Yeah they said they sent you a final warning letter and thats all your chances over now so its going to court.
FOB: Bollox if i offer to pay, they can't it would be thrown out as made an offer. It's just scare tactics.
Me:Well then you should offer to pay quick, i've been asigned a solicitor and they are asking for all my information and any information i can give about you and its looking quite serious and a lot of effort i really don't have the energy for at the moment to be honest. And they are billing you for everything. I just want this sorted and over with and no one seems to want to do this the easy way.
FOB: If worse comes to worse i'll just set up a standing order to you and shara every month and tell them to go f8ck themselves. Would prob see more of it anyway.
Me:Would see all of it now no matter what. New law passed in April saying mothers get all maintenance payments no matter what they get in benefits etc so that's all fine. And personally i would rahter go through CSA as though they have been kinda useless for a lot of it, at least i know when it actually gets set up i will always get the payments or someone to chase them up for me if i dont get them instead of havingto stress about it myself.
FOB: Yet keep thinking that, maybe one day they will actually be that reliable.
Me: i'm hoping they will be more reliable than you've been
FOB: if thats your idea of calling a truce, you failed. beside i'm still more reliable then your promises ever were.
Me: Don't try and start a fight. My promise was to never try to change you. That was before i got pregnant and didnt think a drug addict was a suitable father for my child so for the benefit of out baby, our relationship and for you, yeah, i did try to change you and i broke my promise, and i'd do it all over again if i had to. Some promises have to be broken and if it means a better life for my child then i'd do anything. And i really thought you would understand that. So time to get over it.
Me:And i wasn't trying to break tthe truce, just explaining why i would rather stick with CSA, you've hadly given me a reason to trust you would make regular payments.
FOB: then maybe you should keep your opinions to your self. Now unless there was something else you wanted, i don't want to speak to you again until i see Bella. Even then i'd rather you keep your mouth shut.
Me: Why so defensive? Cuz you know i'm right? Or becasue you feel guilty? Probably both. There is no need to be unnecessarily harsh and rude. I'm putting all my hatred and loathing for you aside so that Bella can have a chance at knowing her father. But i won't have her seeing her mother upset or arguing with a strane man. If you're going to be needlessly rude then tell me now so i can cancel.
He didn't text back after that. Urgh! He makes me sooooo mad! I don't know why i even asked him to come see Bella, it's just going to be awful! Part of me is hoping he doesn't come and he can just bugger off forever. He's such an idiot. And a tosser. Talking about CSA like he can just say to them 'ohh, i'm not going to use you anymore' - erm, it's not your choice, muppet! It's mine actually! Tit. And EVERYTIME we argue he always brings up that bloody broken promise - because it's the only bad thing i did in our relationship (in his eyes) was to try and stop him using drugs, so we could have a better life, and he blames our break up on me trying to change him! Well if i didnt try to change him i would have left anyway - what kind of decent mother sticks around and lets a drug addict help raise her child? Prick.
Sorry for the long post, and the anger! I'm sure we all know what it feels like when our FOBs rub us up the wrong way!
Me: Hey, i trust that you are getting stuff with the CA sorted, but just to let you know i got a call off their legal team saying they are starting legal proceedings today and gathering the evidence to take you to court and that they have informed you of this and you have chosen not to get in touch with them.
FOB: They sent me one asking about sorting it, nothing about court. Why dod you send it 3 times?
Me: Did I? :-S Dunno. Yeah they said they sent you a final warning letter and thats all your chances over now so its going to court.
FOB: Bollox if i offer to pay, they can't it would be thrown out as made an offer. It's just scare tactics.
Me:Well then you should offer to pay quick, i've been asigned a solicitor and they are asking for all my information and any information i can give about you and its looking quite serious and a lot of effort i really don't have the energy for at the moment to be honest. And they are billing you for everything. I just want this sorted and over with and no one seems to want to do this the easy way.
FOB: If worse comes to worse i'll just set up a standing order to you and shara every month and tell them to go f8ck themselves. Would prob see more of it anyway.
Me:Would see all of it now no matter what. New law passed in April saying mothers get all maintenance payments no matter what they get in benefits etc so that's all fine. And personally i would rahter go through CSA as though they have been kinda useless for a lot of it, at least i know when it actually gets set up i will always get the payments or someone to chase them up for me if i dont get them instead of havingto stress about it myself.
FOB: Yet keep thinking that, maybe one day they will actually be that reliable.
Me: i'm hoping they will be more reliable than you've been
FOB: if thats your idea of calling a truce, you failed. beside i'm still more reliable then your promises ever were.
Me: Don't try and start a fight. My promise was to never try to change you. That was before i got pregnant and didnt think a drug addict was a suitable father for my child so for the benefit of out baby, our relationship and for you, yeah, i did try to change you and i broke my promise, and i'd do it all over again if i had to. Some promises have to be broken and if it means a better life for my child then i'd do anything. And i really thought you would understand that. So time to get over it.
Me:And i wasn't trying to break tthe truce, just explaining why i would rather stick with CSA, you've hadly given me a reason to trust you would make regular payments.
FOB: then maybe you should keep your opinions to your self. Now unless there was something else you wanted, i don't want to speak to you again until i see Bella. Even then i'd rather you keep your mouth shut.
Me: Why so defensive? Cuz you know i'm right? Or becasue you feel guilty? Probably both. There is no need to be unnecessarily harsh and rude. I'm putting all my hatred and loathing for you aside so that Bella can have a chance at knowing her father. But i won't have her seeing her mother upset or arguing with a strane man. If you're going to be needlessly rude then tell me now so i can cancel.
He didn't text back after that. Urgh! He makes me sooooo mad! I don't know why i even asked him to come see Bella, it's just going to be awful! Part of me is hoping he doesn't come and he can just bugger off forever. He's such an idiot. And a tosser. Talking about CSA like he can just say to them 'ohh, i'm not going to use you anymore' - erm, it's not your choice, muppet! It's mine actually! Tit. And EVERYTIME we argue he always brings up that bloody broken promise - because it's the only bad thing i did in our relationship (in his eyes) was to try and stop him using drugs, so we could have a better life, and he blames our break up on me trying to change him! Well if i didnt try to change him i would have left anyway - what kind of decent mother sticks around and lets a drug addict help raise her child? Prick.
Sorry for the long post, and the anger! I'm sure we all know what it feels like when our FOBs rub us up the wrong way!
Don't let him get to you hun. I'd tell CSA to get everything moving now. At least then you'll get your payments. I think he needs to grow up! You've been really polite and you're doing the right thing by Bella 
