LO's birthdays and exes

[AppleBlossom]

I am having a party for Grace on her birthday at half 5 cause all my family are in work as it's on a thursday. I already told him he could see her on her birthday and then he could have his own party at the weekend. Which I thought was fair enough. Only he wants to have her from 9am till 5.30pm... bearing in mind she goes to bed at 8.30 and I would like to spend more than 3 hours with my daughter on her first birthday. He is having a party for her at the weekend as well so I don't think he is being fair. I said I wanted him to come later, about half 10 so she could open her presents and stuff here without madly rushing about trying to get her ready and he said "Well if I can't have her from 9 then I will bring her back later" but he can't because it's her party. I'm thinking of refusing to answer the door to him until we are ready. Do you think that I'm being a bit harsh not letting him have her for the day?

 

[sparkswillfly]

I think hes being pretty selish by saying he would bring her back later and spoil your party! I would tell him its 11-4 or nothing.

 

[kaylynn040485]

Yeah i agree with sparks, i would say 11-4 or something too, why should he have her all day then u only get a couple of hours plus family will all be there so u wont get 2 mins to spend some time just u and her. If he tries to be awkward then i would just tell him your having her party during the day and he cant have her and he can have her for the day a t the weekend to do his thing! Kx

 

[AppleBlossom]

Hmm... well he can't physically do anything if he decides to turn up at 9 can he? He can't force his way into my house. I just want to get up with Grace, have some breakfast, open her presents, have a play with them, get her ready and then give her to him for a few hours. If I gave him her at 9 she would wake up at half 7ish/8 and I would have an hour to get her breakfast, dressed, presents opened...

 

[BlackBerry25]

Nah, just don't open the door. Tell him that you have plans already, and as you are her primary caregiver, you have every right to do so on her birthday.

 

[Becky]

After the last thread you posted he is lucky to be having her at all! x

 

[sparkswillfly]

9-5 is way too much because then hardly get to see her!

 

[Becky]

His time with her is Saturday! Just because Jason wants doesnt mean he gets! I would ignore the door all day or say he has to stay at yours with her x

 

[AppleBlossom]

I just think if I ignore him till we're ready, he will bring her back late and she'll miss her own party. Which he would do without a shadow of a doubt because he is that much of a dickhead. Because you see, he wouldn't think twice about his daughter being late for her own birthday party if he thought he would be getting his own way

 

[xJG30]

Tell him to bugger off, he's messed you about enough.

 

[sparkswillfly]

If your worried he wont bring her back I would be tempted to say he can only see her at your house for an hour or not at all. Like it or lump it. As Becky said his time is at the weekend

 

[AppleBlossom]

I think I would feel bad for his mum though... she has booked the day off and to be fair this isn't her fault. I suppose I could say she is welcome to come down and see her...

 

[Vickie]

honestly I'd tell his mom she is welcome at her party to see her during the day and tell Jason that you have her on her birthday since he's having her on the weekend....

 

[AppleBlossom]

He isn't going to like that one bit I suppose there isn't much he can do if I say he can't see her. If I don't open the door he can't see her, simple. What would I say to his mum? I think I'd feel really awkward if she came down and I wasn't letting her son see his daughter on her birthday (although he will come off with his favourite line of "you can't actually deny me that")

 

[Vickie]

it's not fair to you to not see her all day imo and he is having her (and I would assume a party for her over the weekend) so personally I would say Thursday is your day

 

[Vickie]

or maybe let him take her for a little birthday lunch for a couple of hours tops?

 

[AppleBlossom]

Thanks. I think I will text her tomorrow and let her know. And I will just say to him that he can feel fee to come to mine at 9am but we won't be answering the door and he can't sit there all day if he likes, he has her on saturdays, like he does every week.

Ok at least I know I'm justified now

 

[AppleBlossom]

or maybe let him take her for a little birthday lunch for a couple of hours tops?

He doesn't understand the concept of a couple of hours. If I thought I could trust him to bring her back when I said I would let him but after the latest stunts he's pulled I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him!

 

[xxannxx]

My ex always does things like this, and it really p*** me off!!!
Your the 1 who takes care of her, day in day out, 24/7, and then he expects to reap the rewards by spending every special occasion with her. I'd tell him if he doesn't like what your suggesting he can wait til the weekend. Every birthday is a milestone, and is a chance for you to spend quality time with her and be proud of how shes growing up, and proud of yourself for doing such a good job, on your own, don't let him ruin your day!!!
(Sorry, for the rant)

 

[MoonMuffin]

If he would bring her home late just because he can't get what he wants he might to it anyways even if he does, I wouldn't risk him taking her at all, tell him he can come over to during the day if he wants, but he's not taking her anywhere. If he's going to threaten to bring her back late then how can he expect to be trusted?