Losing Hope...Looking for answers

[mpb1983330]

My husband and I have been trying to conceive baby #2 since March of 2009...We've both been tested and everything looks normal...sperm count, estrogen levels, hormone levels, etc. My doctor prescribed Clomid and last month was my 2nd round of pills and yet again no luck. The pills give me horrible side effects that I've decided to not go for a 3rd time...I'm losing hope and just want it to happen so bad that I am stressed out...and being stressed isn't helping. I've lost weight and am losing my mind. My best friend started trying with me after I had already been trying for a year and within 5 months she got pregnant and is due this week. Its heartbreaking, frustrating, confusing and so many other emotions I can't even explain. I'm sure anyone who is going through this can relate. I just keep searching for answers and explanations as to why we can get pregnant. Especially when I see teenagers on TV having babies or drug addicts bringing babies into the world...I get mad and think why not us?!? We are good people and a healthy family...I guess I'm just looking for support and some words of encouragement...Thank you for listening to my rant

 

[trying hard]

hi there my story is nearly the same as yours been trying for # 2 since around october 2009 All of our tests have been normal too (sperm count, hormone levels, thyroid, HSG etc) and have just been given Clomid to start in less than 2 weeks which I am hoping will help things along...I have had many friends who now have there babies including my sister who has just had number 4 and a really close friend is now about 7 weeks pg... She was using normal lube for first 3 months of trying so i couldn't help but tell her to change to pre-seed needless to say she then got pregnant that month..Gutted! It is hard when people who you see all the time get their BFP and we still have to wait and wait and wait. I never thought it would be like this, being so easy the first time i just thought at 26 years old how hard could it be to get pregnant but here i am... Will you try IUI or the linseed flush next just carry on the normal way?

Either way you are not alone in your feelings. *baby dust*

 

[mpb1983330]

Thank you so much for your post...Unfortunately its good to hear I'm not alone...Its a rough and tough rollercoaster of emotions that I am trying to get a hold on...I feel like I'm losing my mind over all this. I too, NEVER imagined it would be this difficult to conceive...isn't that what we are meant to do as women?!? Given my family history I should be a fertile myrtle...LOL...I am the only one in my family out of aunts, cousins, grandparents, even my mom who has EVER had this issue so no one can really relate and I really don't have anyone to talk to...My insurance won't cover any other methods of fertility treatment other than Clomid and since I had such bad side effects from it, we are going to go back to trying normally...I know God has a plan for us and when its meant to be it will be but I'm just having a hard time to see the light at the end of the tunnel...I wish you all the baby dust in the world and good luck to you as well!!

 

[MummyBaron]

Good luck ladies hope you both get you BFP soon xxxx

 

[trying hard]

thank you mummybaron...

MPB-i don't suppose you qualify for public funding either.
I come from a large family all or whom have had no problems with fertility. I haven't even told my mum that we have been to specialists or that i will be taking clomid (i'm sure she would tell me that i just have to stop worrying and it would happen) BTW so hate that response. I think we all get a little bonkers after this long of trying... Those few days before AF is due I try not to think about all those things that might suggest pregnancy but by the time it is due half the time i convince myself that this month will be it and then no...BFN every time.

I guess we just have to keep faith that it will happen hopefully sooner rather than later.

 

[mpb1983330]

I can't tell you how many times someone has told me to stop worrying and try to forget about it...My husband and I did take 2 months off of trying in Aug. and Sept. and it did relieve some stress but by the time Oct. rolled around and we started trying again, all the emotions came back...Its not something we can just forget about. I think about it all the time and convince myself every month its not going to work. I did get pregnant with my daughter on the first try so its so confusing and hard for me to understand why its taking this long...19 months is a long time...I know people out there have been trying longer than that but its all the same hardships...we are all going through this trying, confusing time...We don't qualify for public funding and I don't even know if they offer that for fertility issues...I absolutely LOVED being pregnant the first time around and long for the day when I see a BFP...Until then, I will just dream, hope and pray...that's all we can do

 

[baby_hopes23]

Hey hun,

SO sorry to hear about your frustration and difficulties it's heartbreaking. I had to take Clomid to conceive my DS, side effects were awful and I was so disheartened when the 1st two months I took it, I didn't even ovulate! I told myself I'd give it one more month and then maybe look into using Femara instead, a lot of people who hate Clomid seem to have luck with that, so I had already intended on using it, until the 3rd month on Clomid I finally ovulated and conceived. Did you ovulate on Clomid? It didn't work for me at 50mg, but the 3rd month I took 100mg and that did the trick.

Don't lose hope it'll happen one way or another!!

 

[mpb1983330]

The first month I did ovulate, the second I didn't...at least not that I know of. I took OPK's days 9-16 and nothing...I usually ovulate day 14 but my husband and I kept trying every other day up until AF came...I just felt so rewarded knowing my bod could do it natually the first time that I want to do it again...I just don't want to mess with nature or my plan by using fertility treatments...That's just my opinion. I know some people need it and I don't disagree with that at all....just for me personally I know God has a plan and if it didn't work the last 2 times on Clomid and the 17 months before that of trying naturally, then its not meant to be yet...I'm also afraid of health issues...Our daughter was born with unexplained heart and kidney issues and had to undergo open heart surgery at 3 months and ureter re-implantion surgery just 2 months ago...she also started having febrile seizures, 2 so far, so with all that going on my stress/anxiety level is through the roof...which obviously that doesn't help either...I'm just afraid if I use medicine to try and conceive, that our second child will be born with health issues...obviously that can happen naturally as well, point proved with #1, I'm just a little reluctant to it...b/c in our case it always seems "what can go wrong will and does" with us...So we'll give the Clomid a break for now and just keep praying and hoping that this month will be it Good luck to you and your upcoming arrival!

 

[baby_hopes23]

I actually didn't ovulate until day 21/22 of my cycle when I took Clomid, so I know for some women it is more like day 14, but for me, a whole week later.

Oh wow, your poor little girl, I'm sorry to hear about what she's going through I'm sure that most definitely contributes to making it more difficult to conceive since it's got to be stressful and emotional for you and your DH. I totally understand and respect your perspective on fertility treatments, they're not for everyone and you just have to do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable and relaxed about the whole process

Best wishes for your daughter and GL to you in TTC

 

[foxykins]

My husband and I have been trying to conceive baby #2 since March of 2009...We've both been tested and everything looks normal...sperm count, estrogen levels, hormone levels, etc. My doctor prescribed Clomid and last month was my 2nd round of pills and yet again no luck. The pills give me horrible side effects that I've decided to not go for a 3rd time...I'm losing hope and just want it to happen so bad that I am stressed out...and being stressed isn't helping. I've lost weight and am losing my mind. My best friend started trying with me after I had already been trying for a year and within 5 months she got pregnant and is due this week. Its heartbreaking, frustrating, confusing and so many other emotions I can't even explain. I'm sure anyone who is going through this can relate. I just keep searching for answers and explanations as to why we can get pregnant. Especially when I see teenagers on TV having babies or drug addicts bringing babies into the world...I get mad and think why not us?!? We are good people and a healthy family...I guess I'm just looking for support and some words of encouragement...Thank you for listening to my rant

hi,

Our last child we had 12 yrs ago and within them years we thought we would be blessed with another one as the other 2 came without a problem. just over 2 months ago we went to the doctors and they said nothing is wrong of what they can see and for us to offically start TTC. In my mind i think well in 12 years and no protection surely i would have got pregnant. trying now is hard i must say as the back of my mind im thinking its never going to happen as im now 35 and things start slowing down. Keep hope and it will happen, i know what ur saying about all the young ones. i have a 16 year old daughter and all i see is her fb friends and their profile pics of scans. Keep the spirit alive and keep positive. good luck to u x

 

[bamagurl]

I understand the feeling! It is super hard not to stress about it! It is almost like it consumes you! Like you said you see teenagers or someone who does not lead a lifestyle and just oops all of a sudden surprise they are pregnant and you get mad thinking why can't it just oops happen to me!?!?!?! I hope you get your soon! Keep trying and don't give up hope! The second you see all these hard times will be forgotten and you will just be so happy

 

[DragonTamer]

My husband and I have been trying to conceive baby #2 since March of 2009...We've both been tested and everything looks normal...sperm count, estrogen levels, hormone levels, etc. My doctor prescribed Clomid and last month was my 2nd round of pills and yet again no luck. The pills give me horrible side effects that I've decided to not go for a 3rd time...I'm losing hope and just want it to happen so bad that I am stressed out...and being stressed isn't helping. I've lost weight and am losing my mind. My best friend started trying with me after I had already been trying for a year and within 5 months she got pregnant and is due this week. Its heartbreaking, frustrating, confusing and so many other emotions I can't even explain. I'm sure anyone who is going through this can relate. I just keep searching for answers and explanations as to why we can get pregnant. Especially when I see teenagers on TV having babies or drug addicts bringing babies into the world...I get mad and think why not us?!? We are good people and a healthy family...I guess I'm just looking for support and some words of encouragement...Thank you for listening to my rant

I completely know and understand the feelings you are going through. As of right now we have been TTC #4 for 4.5 years! All tests are normal and doctor can't prescibe fertility meds because I have a pituitary adenoma (non secreting) that could possibly be affected by them. It gets to be so heartbreaking and frustrating to get AF every month. I've gotten to the point where I've just about given up but as AFs due date approaches I get a bit hopeful. Especially if I know we time everything right. Right now I've got my fingers crossed but too nervous to POAS because it never fails, I POAS and AF arrives the next day. I wish you luck with TTC and pray you don't have to go as long as have!

 

[baby_hopes23]

My husband and I have been trying to conceive baby #2 since March of 2009...We've both been tested and everything looks normal...sperm count, estrogen levels, hormone levels, etc. My doctor prescribed Clomid and last month was my 2nd round of pills and yet again no luck. The pills give me horrible side effects that I've decided to not go for a 3rd time...I'm losing hope and just want it to happen so bad that I am stressed out...and being stressed isn't helping. I've lost weight and am losing my mind. My best friend started trying with me after I had already been trying for a year and within 5 months she got pregnant and is due this week. Its heartbreaking, frustrating, confusing and so many other emotions I can't even explain. I'm sure anyone who is going through this can relate. I just keep searching for answers and explanations as to why we can get pregnant. Especially when I see teenagers on TV having babies or drug addicts bringing babies into the world...I get mad and think why not us?!? We are good people and a healthy family...I guess I'm just looking for support and some words of encouragement...Thank you for listening to my rant

I completely know and understand the feelings you are going through. As of right now we have been TTC #4 for 4.5 years! All tests are normal and doctor can't prescibe fertility meds because I have a pituitary adenoma (non secreting) that could possibly be affected by them. It gets to be so heartbreaking and frustrating to get AF every month. I've gotten to the point where I've just about given up but as AFs due date approaches I get a bit hopeful. Especially if I know we time everything right. Right now I've got my fingers crossed but too nervous to POAS because it never fails, I POAS and AF arrives the next day. I wish you luck with TTC and pray you don't have to go as long as have!

That's just awful that you can't even take fertility meds I can't imagine being in that position Are you able to take over the counter supplements that might help boost ovulation? I know lots of women have had success with soy isoflavones or vitex, and also increasing your vitamin D in-take has been shown to help.

There's also some good books out there, one is called The Fertility Diet, which I haven't read, but I believe it teaches you how you can change what you eat/drink to help increase your chances of becoming pregnant

 

[KasB]

I am some what in the same shoes have been ttc for 2 years this month!!! I actually got pregnant with my daughter who is almost 5 on bc Had a chemical pregnancy last august and now not anything I know how depressing it is everyone around me seems pregnant and I try to be happy for them but it is hard everything has tested out ok had an hsg and everything!! I have regular cycles so no clomid for me!! I guess the next step is IUI it is hard to keep your head up but eventually it will happen for all of us!!

 

[baby_hopes23]

I am some what in the same shoes have been ttc for 2 years this month!!! I actually got pregnant with my daughter who is almost 5 on bc Had a chemical pregnancy last august and now not anything I know how depressing it is everyone around me seems pregnant and I try to be happy for them but it is hard everything has tested out ok had an hsg and everything!! I have regular cycles so no clomid for me!! I guess the next step is IUI it is hard to keep your head up but eventually it will happen for all of us!!

Hey girl...have you considered Clomid, or you just don't want to go down that road? Only asking because my best friend was in the same boat as you, regular cycles, everything checked out perfectly as far as tests, so after a year of TTC with no luck, her doc gave her the lowest dose (50mg) of Clomid and she got pregnant on her first cycle and gave birth to a healthy baby boy in June. Just curious if it was something you had ruled out or if it was your doc's choice not to try it

 

[KasB]

I waNted clomid but my fert doc said it would not be worth it and it would only raise my chance by 1% but I am thinking about asking for it anyways thanks for the story!!

 

[baby_hopes23]

I waNted clomid but my fert doc said it would not be worth it and it would only raise my chance by 1% but I am thinking about asking for it anyways thanks for the story!!

oh wow, I didn't realize it was such a low % increase, that's crazy

It seems like a lot of women who have regular cycles take Clomid to help "boost" ovulation, I guess since it's probably the cheapest option, I know it will vary with insurances in the US, but my pills were only $5

GL with whatever you decide lots of to you!!

 

[readyformore]

I ovulate regularly and have taken both clomid and femara.
My RE says it's to make the follicle more mature.
Something along those lines.

I've always done it in conjunction with IUI as well.