losing hope..UPDATED....

[jules444]

hello. just over two weeks ago I got my BFP, a huge part of me wanted to announce it but I was too scared after the 2 mc's Ive had this year. Ive been getting through hour by hour, day by day trying to think positively.

I started to bleed last night, its not really heavy and all my symptoms are still here- but Ive been here before so have totally lost hope. Im off to the doctors today and I guess they will send me for an early scan. I cant bare the thought of having to go into hospitle again, lie there in that dark room and be heart broken again. I dont think Im strong enough to go through another misscarriage. I can literally feel my heart hurt and cant stop the tears. Its too much sadness for a couple to endure and Im worried about the impact all the tests etc we'll have to go through if this baby dies. I didnt know whether to post on here or in misscarriage support. I really want to stay in this forum
am so scared and alone x

 

[Razcox]

First of all huge hun what what you have been though and for what you are going through now. Never feel alone as there are always people on here to speak to xxxx

The fact you still have your symptons is a good sign, bleeding does not always mean a MC it just happens that you and me have only ever before had it mean bad things. That doesnt mean that is the case this time. Whats the bleeding like? Is there any pain with it?

An early scan would be a good idea and will let you know whats going on, i understand how terrifing it is to be in that dark little room though xxx

Now about how you will cope if the worst does happen, which i really hope it doesnt, you WILL cope. Yes it will break your heart and you will need to grieve but we are all stong women on here and i am sure you will be able to pick yourself up and try again. xxxxxx

Sending healing thoughts and lots of extra sticky your way, please keep us updated x

 

[jules444]

thank you razcox, hugs recieved and hugely appriciated.Im such a mess. Ive just come home from the doctors and he said its most likely another mc, and has booked a scan for tomorrow. I dont think I can put my OH though that experience again so Im going to brave it alone.

As for the bleeding its red and brown, with mild cramps. I dont know how to feel, just numb.

thank you for your kind words, understanding and am sorry that you've also gone through the sadness of it all. congratulations on your bfp xx sending prayers to your bean! xxx

 

[hb1]

Hoping it's good news for you this time if you can't take your oh though I would take someone else close - if it's bad news then you will need the support - and your oh would be heartbroken to think of you on your own after that.

Truly hope you come out of the scan with a massive smile and clutching a picture of your little bean.

Take care

hx

 

[stay.positive]

Sorry to hear you are going through this Jules. I hope that you get good news at your scan. Like Razcox said many women bleed during pregnancy and things work out, but I know it's hard not to expect the worst when you've had mc's before. I found it very hard to tell my OH about my second miscarriage because I didn't want to upset him further, but really it is his experience too. Lean on who ever you need to and come on here for support. This is a really good community and I found the girls on BnB to be a great help in my last mc.

 

[jules444]

just come back from the scan and to my disbelief there was a heartbeat, have another scan in 2 weeks to check again. They did say not to get hopes up so will be praying every day and really trying to not get stressed.

thank you you so much razcox,hb1 and stay positive your kind word and understanding really helped me xxx

 

[foxforce]

Congrats what a relief!

 

[stay.positive]

That's great news!

 

[Pretty Please]

Jules - Fantastic news )

I bet it was such a relief - I nearly feel like bursting into tears of joy for you.

Congratulations honey x

 

[jules444]

thank you!!!! ahhhh im just so over joyed, but terrified at the same time. Just got to get through the next 2weeks before the next scan.wish I could fast forward, Im a bundle of nerves. Im praying morning sickness will kick in! which I know sounds rediculous -but I never got to that stage with my first 2 pregnancies. I dont know what I'd do without baby and bump, thanks to the reponses from you lovely people Ive stayed almost sane

xxx

 

[Deniz]

Congrats! I am happy that news are good on your side. It must be a huge relief to hear a heart beat I pray for ms as well...

 

[hb1]

Yey Jules!!!!! glad your bean is nice and snug in there - I know that you're trying not to get your hopes up but now you have seen the hb your risk does go down - obviously there's never any guarentee but your odds have just improved!!

hx

 

[mislaww]

Wonderful news!

 

[Razcox]

Yeah thats wonderful news! So happy for you hun xxxx

I bet its going to be amazing to see how much the baby has grown in two weeks as well.

 

[Clo]

Great news hun xxx

 

[dan-o]

Amazing news jules! Make sure you take it easy hun! xx

 

[Lynsay]

Brilliant news hun, Take care of yourself and your little snuggled bean! xx

 

[Lollipop]

I am sending postive thoughts to you and the little bean

 

[Kas75]

Thats great news, PMA all the way.

Lotsa love xxx

 

[grandbleu]

So happy for you throwing some sticky baby dust your way...