Losing my mind

[Nadyaraza]

Hey guys
Who knew ttc would be so taxing on ones nerves and a constant struggle to keep the faith. I'm 37 and been ttc for almost 2 years. It's like God is testing me because he knows how much I have always adored children
Everything was fine 2 months before I got married and bam the day I do my cycles go crazy and I stopovulating! It's been 2 years of unprotected sex and never a positive opk and never even an accidental pregnancy
I've been going in and out of depression now because I feel like I'm failing myself. All I ever wanted was to have kids and be a mommy and now each day that passes by the fear that I may never see that day grips me harder ��
I'm on my first round of clomid 50mg and on day 17. Day 14 and 15 (photos of dry opk/wet opk which was after 15 mins ) wondfos got dark but CB advanced digital said low fertility! Not even a flashing smiley which was really confusing if the wondfo was a decent dark line. Day 16 I wake up hopeful in MONTHS that maybe this will be the first time I'll see my pos opk but to my dismay is considerably lighter (photo attached ... also dry stick with amich lighter test line)

Can you guys tell me if any one of you went through something similar? I'm losing hope and a little support and advice especially success stories would be good for me right about now ��

Please take a look at my opk from day 15. One more thing ... the test line got darker way after 5 mins and I'm also attaching the dried out stick photo (don't even know if that makes a difference)
Can you guys read them for me I just wanna know what you guys see (DH thinks left is just a teeny bit darker but I don't... to me they look maybe as dark but still not quite)

Btw these are all FMU .... does that make a difference?
Thanks ❤️

 

[WishnandHopn]

Hey I can definitely relate to feeling like you're losing your mind! TTC can drive anyone nutty.

I'm not sure which photo is which, but I would say that in the first two photos the test line is as dark as the control, so I would call both of those positive! The far left might be a teeny bit darker, but you would want to compare wet to wet and dry to dry (not wet to dry). The photo on the right is not positive.

I had really bad luck with the cb advanced digital opk, so I trust the wondfo strips now. I always do mine with fmu but i know they say mid day is best. They say you should O the day after your first pos opk, but sometimes i get 2 days of positive and i think i O the day after the 2nd one, but I guess everyone is different. It's also possible to have an lh surge but not ovulate. Have you tried temping to confirm ovulation? Short of a progesterone test or monitored cycle (or bfp!) it's the only way to confirm you did indeed ovulate.

Good luck...I know the process is so darn hard and frustrating but I just keep telling myself it will all be worth it when I finally hold my baby in my arms one day.

 

[Nadyaraza]

Hi and thank you so much for taking out the time to reply
I will pray for both of us now that we make it successfully to a healthy pregnancy God willing. And that He keeps it that way. I know how you must feel. We have been trying for the same time from what I am gather from your tags...
I tried temping but It was confusing me so I stopped. Tell me something when you do get a surge how long does it stay? And if the egg fertilizes will the surge stay up on opks or will it fade and then pick up again after a few days?
As for the photos I uploaded there's a wet one which is day 15 and the middle photo is same stick but dried out... I took another look at it this morning and maybe my eyes just wanna see what's not there but I could have sworn that the test line is a wee bit darker when dry... nothing that pops up immediately like I've seen for other ladies though...

 

[broodymrs]

Some people have a really quick surge (I do) so the cb might miss it. Your top opk is positive so as soon as you got that really you should be dtd as soon as you can. I used to test morning and afternoon as I often caught my surge in the afternoon but if I was just doing it once a day I'd have missed the surge. I also used a cb fertility monitor and temping to give me a good idea of all my fertile days. But I think clomid interferes with the monitor (maybe it does with the cb tests you're using too?). Good luck!

 

[Nadyaraza]

Hey thanks broody Mrs I really hope that's the case with me too... DH and I dtd on cd 14, 15, and 16 but today I think we both need a break... and my opk in the morning was pretty light too... just in case I'm also one of those people who have short surges you think the 3 days of dtd should suffice?

Another quick question.... after your surge dissipated and you were in fact pregnant , how soon did the opk start getting dark again?

And congtulations I see you're 89 days away!!!! Loads of love and prayers your way!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

 

[broodymrs]

I didn't carry on testing so I don't know. I just stopped once they started fading. We only dtd 3 times during fertile period, 5 times in the whole month I conceived. It only takes once and if you've timed it well then you've done all you can. That's why I liked using various methods to pinpoint ovulation.

 

[Nadyaraza]

Hope I get lucky this month too! Say a lil prayer for me please and thank you for writing back! 😘

 

[broodymrs]

Will do!

 

[JSJB731]

Hi there,
Just wanted to say the first two photos definitely look positive to me! secondly I wanted to chime in and say I can relate to you ladies.
I'm 35, DH is 36. We've been trying about 9 months or more for #1. DH and I only dtd 3 times this past cycle, all within my fertile phase , which I know is sad and probably doesn't give us good odds. I have finally figured out my fertile phase is short. I was using the clear blue fertility monitor and had one day of high fertility and one day of peak, and that was it.
I've been temping and using opk's since we started ttc. I've had bloodwork done for progesterone and FSH (although that was 2 years ago) I've had an HSG in september, everything was fine. I'm tired of taking my temp every morning, peeing on all kinds of sticks (went crazy last month and used cheapie opk sticks, digital opk, and fertility monitor!!) taking all kinds of vitamins, giving up coffee, Dr. visits, working our schedules around ovulation, trying to "relax" among many other things. My mom and close friends say "just relax it will happen when it is supposed to." They just don't understand what it's like. And my close friend who has pcos got pregnant the FIRST TRY, baby due in June. I'm very happy for her but, it's just been hard.
My OB GYN also wants me to go on clomid, even though I already ovulate. She said something about how I maybe don't always ovulate or it's a weak ovulation. My cycles are short and vary from 22 - 26 days. I've been kind of skeptical of Clomid (only because I already ovulate I think) but lately I've been thinking it's worth a shot and I should trust her since she is my Dr. after all.
How many dpo are you Nayaraza? I'm currently day 10.

 

[WishnandHopn]

JS, three times in the fertile window is pretty good I think! Good on you still temping, I gave up after 6 months, it was making me crazy. And you know what? We actually conceived (but sadly lost it) the month when I stopped temping! Maybe I "relaxed and it happened" haha. I've worried that sometimes I have a weak ovulation (like last month my luteal phase was only 11 days instead of my usual 14) Maybe ask your doc about femara rather than clomid, I haven't personally used either but I've read that it has less side effects and doesn't thin the lining the way clomid does (lining can get thinner as we get older, another joy of TTC over 35!)

I'm CD2 today...hoping to O before Christmas so that we don't have to BD at either my parents house or DH's!