Loss of one twin...

[maggie111]

It's such a unique situation I wasn't really sure where to post, but I figured this forum would best be able to understand the difficulties I'm going through

Our twinnie died 20 weeks ago, aged 14 weeks. I felt like I grieved well at the time - very grateful that I still had a baby boy healthy and happy inside me. I knew, very strongly, that I was lucky. I honestly have no idea how I would have coped with a complete miscarriage - you women who endure it are surely amazing incredible people.

Then the pregnancy progressed "normally" and I felt fine... Until I started to plan the delivery in my head, and ask about the delivery of the twin.

It struck me that my baby is still inside of me, and I am afraid to let her go I'm scared I wont care about delivering her as I will have, hopefully, a beautiful baby in my arms to keep me occupied.

But I keep thinking to the moment the midwives take her away...

I wont get any memorial, or service, and I will have carried her for 9 months. I'm scared to prepare for my baby to come home because as it get closer, I get very aware that I will only bringing one baby home, not two.

All these hopes and dreams I had for my twins have died.

I'm scared I will forget her, I'm scared I will remember her too much and "ruin" the new baby, I'm scared I will never stop crying.

People don't understand because I have a baby to look forward to.

But I miss my twinnie too much

 

[Tournesol]

Oh how awful for you, I'm so sorry.

I think it's normal to be scared. But when the time comes, you will cope. We cope with loss because we have no choice.

You will never forget her, you won't ruin your baby and you won't cry forever. It's OK to be sad though, you are allowed to cry.

I don't see any reason why you shouldn't have a memorial, even just for you and your OH?

I wish I could say something to make you feel better, be strong hun

 

[mwaah]

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you are going through and what will you will go through.

I'm sure everything you are feeling and will feel is totally normal, if there is a normal for this situation.

You are going to make a fab mummy to your little boy and you will never forget your little girl. I can understand why the birth is going to be hard for you. You are going to have a beautiful baby boy but at same time you are going to grieve your gorgeous baby girl.

Sending you big hugs xxx

 

[bee.bee]

I am so sorry, I can only imagine how difficult and confusing that would feel.

I think you should definitely have a little service or memorial for her. Even if it is only just you and your significant other, or your family and friends. I think it would make you feel a lot better. She is your baby, and always will be.

Maybe find a spot in your house where you keep things that remindyou of her. An ultrasound picture, a little pink blanket or teddy bear, and go there when you feel sad about her. It may help you to feel closer to her. I don't believe you will ever forget her.

 

[geordiemammy]

So sorry for your loss but everytime you look at your little boy and his lovely little face you will remember your baby girl too which is a good thing I'm sure you will be a fab mammy and I think a memorial is a great idea it will help you

Is women are strong and we cope with anything the loss of a baby is devastating at any stage but you will be ok and your little boy will help because you have to be strong for him xx

 

[LoraLoo]

Awww hun, biggest hugs I have never been in your position. We lost a daughter at 5 days old and a son at 18 weeks pregnant. I guess you are getting your rainbow baby a little earlier than most as you were already carrying him when you lost your baby girl. All i can say from my experience is that your baby wont take away the pain of your loss, but will give you new meaning and hope, and help you get through the sadness. Thats how i feel about my rainbows, anyway. Agree with the others too you can have a little memorial for your little sweetheart, and part of her will forever live on in her twin xxx