Lost and so confused

[kam78]

Feeling VERY guilty right now... I can't be my normal "super mom" to my other children.. i'm still functioning but I do NOT feel up to be the shuttle bus like they expect... My 13yr old actually asked "Oh, your still this sad over Emma?" ... and she then made the comment .. " oh, you loved her that much?" ... Really??!? I tried explaining I love her as much as I love you... she then understood but still expects me to do, and take her places & act completely normal ... I can't! I finally told her NO tonight & I felt horrible, like a bad mom ... I just need time and feel like I am screaming to the world (friends & family) and no one is listening......

 

[babesx3]

i'm so sorry for your loss!! XXX

My children are younger, but i know what u mean when u feel like a bad mother, u feel so torn, u want to be there for your living children, but just need the space to grieve for the one u have lost...
I really struggled with school runs and facing the other parents, who didn't understand my grief, i started having panic attacks, it was an awful time
It took a good few months to start to feel more 'normal' again and be able to talk to them, but now i feel i can look at them and talk to them..its been hard, but tit does get easier with time,.... its still very early days for u , so be gentle on yourself,,

I started to TTC straight away, and got pregnant the first month after a AF..
like Jox i almost felt it was too soon as struggled a lot, but i am very glad to have my precious rainbow on board..

 

[kam78]

Thanks so much for those words & advice, they are so very helpful to me ... I am very incouraged to keep pushing along ... I am so blessed and thankful I have such an amazing family, we had a "family meeting" last night and that helped us ALL so much, we all just talked about how we are & where we are... Think the kids needed that so now they know mom isn't on the same page as them YET... They are my rock♥ ..

 

[babesx3]

Thats a really good thing to do!!
glad u are feeling abit more understood XX