LTTTC Baby 2 and feeling lost

[tommyg]

Hi Ladies.

I know I'm very lucky to have my DS and I'm desprite to have another child in my life and for him to grow up with and have lots of fun with. I love seeing him having loads of fun with his big cousins but I really what another baby.

I feel lost on the forum at the moment I feel I don't really belong in here as so many of you lovely ladies are desprite for one child never mind a second.

When we were trying for DS I suspected that I was PCOS and got as far as getting DH's results before my GP would refer me when I got my BFP. This time I've had an early MC and just had my first appointment with the fertility clinc who confirmed my long suspected PCOS.

Why do I feel so loss?

I know their is a small chance we can concieve natually as we've managed it twice but it's just not easy.

 

[TatorMom]

There is a secondary infertility section where you'll find women going through the same/similar things. We've been trying for a 3rd child for a couple years and finally conceived our twin girls, who we lost at 22 weeks due to an infection. Initially I really wanted to try again, but now I'm happy with the 2 kids we have and we got a puppy, so I'm complete for now. We're kind of in between NTNP and TTC. I go back and forth daily between the 2. Our boys are just a huge huge handful, so we'll probably wait until they're in Kindergarden-1st grade and then look into starting the adoption process if we still want a 3rd at that point. I honestly don't see us wanting to start over at that point, but you never know. As each week and month passes the less and less I want to start over as we slowly begin to be able to have a life again with our boys. I HATED the toddler stage with a passion beyond words. I was absolute hell with 2 kids so close in age and is VERY slowly starting to get better. Our boys personalities are polar opposite and they do NOT get along, so it's just constant fighting ALL DAY LONG. Keep that in mind! Another sibling isn't necessarily going o jive well personality wise, but I completely understand what you mean. I want to give DS2 another sibling because DS1 has so many issues and I don't want him to feel lonely. We also don't have any family outside of our nuclear unit and my parents. I don't have the relationship and connection with DS1 that I do DS2, like DH does, and it would be nice to have another. I love my oldest to bits, but he and I just don't connect in the way DS2 and I do. That's why I'm thankful for a 2 parent family. "Sometimes you need the other parent(set of genes) to help understand the strange to the one who didn't give it to them." That quote pretty much sums up our family. I digress, I understand how frustrating it is and utterly dissappointing. I've just given up at this point and thrown in the towel. If we didn't already have kids it would be different.

Hang in there! Miracles do happen!

 

[Smiler82]

You've been told you have a fertility problem and had a miscarriage all in a very short time frame. They are both hard things to deal with, regardless of whether you have a child or not already. It's ok to feel angry, sad, lost, etc. It's totally normal

As Tatormom says you could try the secondary infertility board if you want to talk to people in the same situation as you.

I have PCOS as well, it can be a real bugger but you and I both prove it's not impossible to fall pregnant, it can just be a little harder. I've been pregnant twice, but lost both. Am now on clomid to hopefully conceive for the third time...so when you feel up to it, it'd be worth going back to your doc as they might prescribe you metformin or clomid.

There are things you can do yourself - try to cut down on sugar, try to lose any weight that you might need to. Eat plenty of fresh fruit and veg, that kind of thing. You could also try some supplements - agnus castus, starflower, d-chiro inositol may help you.

I would also recommend BBT charting if you're not already doing it. It's the only way I've ever been able to know that I'm ovulating.

But just take it easy for a little while, you've had a hard time recently xx