M/c last Thursday - unsure whats next

[shelleylu]

I went for my routine scan last Thursday - I would have been 10+4, but there was no heartbeat found.

Db and I were obvioulsy incredibly sad. I had had the tiniest amount of spotting the Monday, but only when wiping once (sorry TMI). I spoke to the EPU and they said not to worry, so it was totally unexpected.
I made the difficult choice to stay in hospital and have the ERPC. I stayed in a ward all day worried and crying. I found the whole ordeal very surreal. It was very difficult to make those choices when I was so fragile.

Thankfully everything went ok and I was back home late Thursday night. How everything had changed in a day blew my mind really.

I went away for the weekend and had a rest. I have had some bad and some mild pains in my tummy, but only like a bad period.

In the 10 weeks of being pregnant, I had put on a stone in weight amazingly. My lo must have had a thing for chocolate.... I have read various posts on here, but cant find a lot about your body returning to pre pregnancy stage. I guess it takes a couple of months, but Im unsure.

I will want to try again, but not for a while as I'd like to loose the stone I'd put on and maybe a bit more. My boobs are still absolutely huge (I went from a size 36d to a 38f in 2 months) They are still sore too, which is a sad reminder of what was.

Sorry for long post, but I suppose I'd like to speak to someone who has been through something similar who understands and could give me some advice?

Thanks for reading this, sorry its a bit long, but havent been able to talk about it on here as I cant even look in the forums I used to, because of everyone continuing as normal

xx

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

heya hunni i no how you feel... my body took ages 2 go back to normal unfrochatly my boobs were first thing 2 go but iv still gt a big belly on me from all the crisps i snacked out on lol..
i had my 4th m/c 3 months ago.. i didnt have a D&C but i had an assisted m/c. if you ever need help or advice just shout or pm me

 

[shelleylu]

Thanks for that Tracie.

I cant imagine how hard it is for your going through it 4 times. Some of the emotions you go through are really odd. Hormones do very weird things to my body.

I have picked up a really nasty stomach bug, so thats put paid to eating any more crisps for now. I'll send it your way

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

oooo no i have that bug to... even tho crisps are still there haha

yeah i had a very tricky time.. thats my story below.. the link lol... hormones werent nice 2 me at all

 

[SJK]

I went for my routine scan last Thursday - I would have been 10+4, but there was no heartbeat found.

Db and I were obvioulsy incredibly sad. I had had the tiniest amount of spotting the Monday, but only when wiping once (sorry TMI). I spoke to the EPU and they said not to worry, so it was totally unexpected.
I made the difficult choice to stay in hospital and have the ERPC. I stayed in a ward all day worried and crying. I found the whole ordeal very surreal. It was very difficult to make those choices when I was so fragile.

Thankfully everything went ok and I was back home late Thursday night. How everything had changed in a day blew my mind really.

I went away for the weekend and had a rest. I have had some bad and some mild pains in my tummy, but only like a bad period.

In the 10 weeks of being pregnant, I had put on a stone in weight amazingly. My lo must have had a thing for chocolate.... I have read various posts on here, but cant find a lot about your body returning to pre pregnancy stage. I guess it takes a couple of months, but Im unsure.

I will want to try again, but not for a while as I'd like to loose the stone I'd put on and maybe a bit more. My boobs are still absolutely huge (I went from a size 36d to a 38f in 2 months) They are still sore too, which is a sad reminder of what was.

Sorry for long post, but I suppose I'd like to speak to someone who has been through something similar who understands and could give me some advice?

Thanks for reading this, sorry its a bit long, but havent been able to talk about it on here as I cant even look in the forums I used to, because of everyone continuing as normal

xx

Im really sorry, I went for a early scan on the 1st aug and all was ok, I was 8+1, and then I went back on the sunday as they had asked me too and there was no hb, baby died on sat at 8+2, the whole experience of the eprc was awful , I just pray to god that a mc will never happen again and be taken away from us if we are lucky to get pregnant again, to you xxx

 

[honeybunch2k7]

I'm so sorry. I ended up getting a d&c to remove the placenta, still was no fun.

It's so true-everyone else seems to move on. The world won't slow down just a bit and, though I wish it would.

 

[Lazy Leo]

Oh sweetheart. Unfortunately there is nothing we can say to make it better. I was 'lucky' in that I went back to normal right away but it took 5 weeks for the m/c to complete. I think I put on more weight in that five weeks than at any other time!

I'm really impressed that you want to go and lose that weight again before starting to try again, you are putting your LO before your desire to have him /her in this world. I think the time will do you good as well. I waited one cycle after my m/c before trying again and I think it was the right decision for me.

I hope someone can be more helpful about how long it will take to return to the old body shape.

Good luck darling, and huge big for you and your OH.

 

[jasmine]

hi there

i'm so sorry to hear what happened to you - i was 11 weeks and 3 days last wednesday - went from giving antenatal bloods, to a scan in the EPU, to theatre in the afternoon for an ERPC - the whole thing was just awful and am still recovering, physically and emotionally. no-one explained what had happened, when the baby had died, and i've been off work since. am hoping to go back the week after next but still processing the whole experience. i really do feel for you, and the physical symptoms like the sore boobs, bleeding and pain are all reminders of it all. am praying for these to disappear so that i can begin to move on.

you take care hon - big hugs xx

 

[Loo]

Hi Hun

Sorry to hear your news.

I had a scan at 8 weeks which was fine but then another a month later which showed no heart beat. So I know how shocking it feels.

I put on a real belly during the pg (was quite shocked at that, as it wasn't early enough to 'show'!!) and my boobs got huge (although not as huge as yours!!)

I don't really remember the boobs going back to normal, as it was gradual, but I think that was fairly soon after the mc. (Its quite hard for me, as from the day I found out about mc to when it was finally all over was 2 months, so my timings might be a bit skewed)

The weight stayed on for ages. I tried losing it but nothing worked. Recentlyy I started diet and exercise again and I have finally lost 1/2 stone in the last month. And thats 13 months since getting pregnant - so it might take a while

Good luck with the weight and my thoughts are with you x

 

[shelleylu]

Thank you all so much for your hugs and best wishes. I feel for you all, as its such a horrid thing to go through.

A week on and its still a sore subject. Having to tell people about our loss has been the worst thing. The couple of mums at my sons school know, but some don't, and I have found myself avoiding people all week!

I totally understand what you meant Jasime. The day of our scan changed everything and it all happened so quickly. It was a good thing for me I think, as I dont know if I could have stayed at home waiting for the inevitable. It would have broke my heart.

Well done on the diet Loo, thats amazing weight loss. What exercise have you been doing? I have been thinking about starting back at the gym. As soon as this tummy bug eases off (48 hr bug is a lot longer)

I didnt see the link to your story Tracie?

Thanks again everyone. Reading this has made me realise I'm not completely insane, and its ok to keep eating Maltessers x x x

 

[Loo]

I've been eating normally but no pudding and no snacks! Been quite difficult...

Exercise has been a combination of gym (which isnt always convenient and bores me to death) and exercise DVDs. Probably doing 2-3 'sessions' per week of 30-60 mins. Oh and I've been walking up stairs instead of lifts/escalators!! Every little helps!!

However, this is exactly what I did a few months ago and it didnt work. So think the body has to be ready.

 

[shelleylu]

Thanks Loo,

Went to the gym last night for a little work out. Blimey, I was out of breath within 10 minutes! Hadnt realised how easy Id been taking it being pregnant, because I was so poorly during the 10 weeks I hadnt been working etc and I've lost any ability to exercise at all.. It'll be a slow road by the looks of it!

xxx

 

[Loo]

Exactly, thats what happened to me. I was sooooo tired when I was pregnant and so tempted by cheese, that my body had no chance!!!

It's nice feeling less short of breath as you stick with the exercise.

Good luck x

 

[Barneyboo]

So sorry x x x

 

[doc123]

i'm so so so sorry for your loss.. i think everyone is individual.. i had erpc 2 weeks ago now after losing twins at 10 weeks.. id put on no weight(orignially lost 5 ibs then put i bakc on so net gain was nothing) just was bloated and my shape changed and now i'm slightly lighter than pre-pregnancy as the water weight has shifted again and my body has returned back to slightly more normal state...

I hope when you make your decision to ttc or think about ttc, that you find the strength to try again and it all works out for you.. give yourself space and time and try not to be hard on yourself girl!!! Good luck and hugs for you...

 

[todteach]

Sending you big . So sorry to hear about your loss.

 

[shelleylu]

Thank you all for the support. Im sitting here crying (for the first time in over a week) because Ive blocked out so many emotions. People stop being so sensitive and 'nice' around you, thinking you have got over it, but its still so hard to think about.
A friend of mine at my sons school is due around the same time I would have been, and I saw her just. She was panting walking up the hill and looked flushed and fed up, yet I envied her, and then felt horrible as Id thought why me.

Its amazing how it catches up on you....

As for the weight, the chocs are still being eaten, so no chance yet

xxxx

 

[NickyNix]

I went for my routine scan last Thursday - I would have been 10+4, but there was no heartbeat found.

Db and I were obvioulsy incredibly sad. I had had the tiniest amount of spotting the Monday, but only when wiping once (sorry TMI). I spoke to the EPU and they said not to worry, so it was totally unexpected.
I made the difficult choice to stay in hospital and have the ERPC. I stayed in a ward all day worried and crying. I found the whole ordeal very surreal. It was very difficult to make those choices when I was so fragile.

Thankfully everything went ok and I was back home late Thursday night. How everything had changed in a day blew my mind really.

I went away for the weekend and had a rest. I have had some bad and some mild pains in my tummy, but only like a bad period.

In the 10 weeks of being pregnant, I had put on a stone in weight amazingly. My lo must have had a thing for chocolate.... I have read various posts on here, but cant find a lot about your body returning to pre pregnancy stage. I guess it takes a couple of months, but Im unsure.

I will want to try again, but not for a while as I'd like to loose the stone I'd put on and maybe a bit more. My boobs are still absolutely huge (I went from a size 36d to a 38f in 2 months) They are still sore too, which is a sad reminder of what was.

Sorry for long post, but I suppose I'd like to speak to someone who has been through something similar who understands and could give me some advice?

Thanks for reading this, sorry its a bit long, but havent been able to talk about it on here as I cant even look in the forums I used to, because of everyone continuing as normal

xx

I'm so sorry for your loss

My situation was very similar in that after spotting I was also told that all was ok and I had the "no heartbeat" scan 4 days after being told this as my spotting got a lot worse. I was around 9 weeks pregnant and was told that my baby was only measuring 6.5 weeks so it was fairly obvious that it had died. They wanted to wait another week "just to be sure" and during this time I miscarried I felt isolated and alone and it was worse than I could have ever imagined
I was meant to have a follow up scan yesterday but they have now put it back to Friday because they wanted to make sure that my body had got rid of everything. I'm dreading going as I know my baby won't be there and that there isn't going to be any miracle heartbeat.

Last week was all about my body and getting through the m/c. This week has been all about emotions. I have cleaned my house top to bottom and almost have an addiction to bleach! I am on such an emotional journey. You are right, people do stop talking about it expecting you to be completely over it.
I'm not too bad if I see babies or pregnant ladies, I thought I would be but it was confirmed that I'm not when whilst walking my son to school on Monday, one of the "Mums" came bouncing up to be with her 3 week old baby boy in her arms and literally threw him into mine!!
What it made me realise is that all the beautiful babies in the world won't bring mine back and if I see them, I know it's not mine.

I'm so sorry you are going through this, and I'm so sorry that I have just replied with an essay but it's important that you know you are not alone and it's equally important to know that I'm not either.

and

 

[Loo]

Thank you all for the support. Im sitting here crying (for the first time in over a week) because Ive blocked out so many emotions. People stop being so sensitive and 'nice' around you, thinking you have got over it, but its still so hard to think about.
A friend of mine at my sons school is due around the same time I would have been, and I saw her just. She was panting walking up the hill and looked flushed and fed up, yet I envied her, and then felt horrible as Id thought why me.

Its amazing how it catches up on you....

As for the weight, the chocs are still being eaten, so no chance yet

xxxx

It's horrible when things catch up on you, isn't it? I think we all have a bit of a 'shock' phase at the beginning and then it hits you properly a bit later.

One of my best friends had a baby the same week mine was due. And if it's any consolation, despite hating seeing her all through the pregnancy because it was so hard....now she has had the baby, I don't mind so much.

I don't know whether thats cos I've had longer to 'get over' things, or because when the baby is born you can't imagine it's yours anymore (I can imagine having a bump, but not a baby, if that makes any sense? And the baby looks like them and not you etc etc)

Anyway, we are all different, but thought it might help to hear you aren't the only one thinking these things.

 

[shelleylu]

Thanks Loo, Nicky, Doc and everyone else who has posted.

I logged off last night and lay on my bed and cried onto my oh's shoulder for about 2 hours.
Im not sure it made me feel any better, especially when he turned around and asked what was wrong. I could have clobbered him!! He thought something had upset me in the day, he didnt realise that I was still feeling sad.

He has been really great throughout this, and he really is such a thoughful caring man, but even the most sensitive men dont really understand what you are going through. I think thats the beauty of this site. All the support you need, and all from people you have never met. So thank you all xxx

With regards to the tummy and boobs - THEY ARE STILL HUGE!! But I only have myself and custard creams to blame that on

xxxxxxx