mad at DH -doesnt let me BF

[sixzigma]

We went on a vaccation for two weeks and LO was mostly on formula as my husband is dead against the idea of me feeding in public
so whatever the reason , my supply has decreased I am not able to pump enough for the day for LO for times when I am at work .So now our routine is he feeds on formula - 8 oz while i am at work and when I am back he is BFed , (he doesnt seem to satisfied with the supply either ) .I am so mad at my husband and myself (for not being able to convince him about Bfing LO while on vaccation and having messed up with my supply

Long story Short : how do I get back my supply ? if i start pumping again will it help ? my poor baby

 

[missk1989]

Firstly i would tell your oh that his own perceptions of bf are not important when considering whats best for your lo. If you keep pumping, at least 20mins each side after every feed whether you are getting milk out or not, then your supply should get better. Keep offering baby breast as much as possible.

 

[cat_reversing]

it's hard when oh isn't on board with bf, we had to combi feed from birth due to low blood sugars and oh just wouldn't drop the formula, saying lo was hungry all the time and that I didn't satisfy her! she was just getting used to things and could've been upset for so many reasons. We had lots of 'words' about it as I was unhappy and wanted to ebf but he just wouldn't let me, it felt like such an insult.
In the end I got so upset, I increased my supply with fenugreek and just refused to give her the bottle.
Feed, feed,feed, rest well eat well drink well, it'll come back up. Try not to get stressed as this can affect the hormones which make and release the milk.
Keep it going!

 

[Tacey]

Blimey. Is he controlling in other areas of your life too?

Great advice, with hard work you should be fine. I find oats in any form boost my supply. Worth a try. Good luck!

 

[Bevziibubble]

Your DH has no right to dictate where and when you can feed your baby. You can boost your supply up by pumping after feeds, eating oats and taking fenugreek. Good luck

 

[misspriss]

My DH gets uncomfortable when I nurse in public, we compromise I will go to the car sometimes to ease his concerns but if he ever even suggested formula (I won't even entertain the idea of expressed milk in bottles) or letting LO go hungry until we found a more private place, you can bet he would get a f*ck off and I'd whip a boob out right there. If my DH had pulled that sh*t, there would be no more vacation.

I have no qualms about feeding my baby, I compromise for my husband but not at the expense of my LO or my supply.

Anyway what is done is done. Now you must feed feed feed and pump pump pump. Try to only use formula if all the milk is gone and you are not there to feed on, see if you can gradually use less. Drink TONS of water and eat good fats (butter, coconut oil, animal fat).

 

[Brieanna]

Everyone has good advice. I guess I am lucky my OH loved the idea of me bfing because he knew it was best for my baby.

If OH is so controlling maybe once you get your supply up, use expressed breastmilk instead of formula if you go on vacation again, or are somewhere where he doesn't "approve" (ughhh, I cringe when I write that) of you bfing. To keep that from happening again in the future, make sure to pump every time baby eats to keep your supply up.

I am sorry you have an OH that is like this about bfing. It must make it very hard. Have you shown him all the studies about how much better breastmilk is for a baby? Not to mention cheaper! Also, did you make him do all the work it takes for formula, like cleaning, sterilizing, preparing etc? Maybe if he had to do all the work with a screaming baby he wouldn't mind as much when you just whip out a boob.

Good luck in the future.

 

[Miss Redknob]

My DH loves me BFing and always helps when we are in public, which helps. Have you thought of getting a BF apron for when you are in public?

To get your supply back - keep pumping after every feed and get bub on the boob as much as possible

Sending you

 

[Reno]

My DH was uncomfortable with nursing in public at the beginning (he was FF, and that was all he had ever known, so BF was alien to him), but once he realised a) no one is watching and b) it's best for a hungry baby, he relaxed a lot! I was always discreet and used a nursing cover which was great! I know next time he'll be much more supportive from day 1! Some men just see boobs as sexual as they can't get past it! But they're primarly for nutrition, and for pleasure second...so baby comes first!

If your LO is still latching on OK you could look in to a SNS (supplementary nursing system) to keep baby latching on, and building up your supply while still getting formula.

 

[misspriss]

If your LO is still latching on OK you could look in to a SNS (supplementary nursing system) to keep baby latching on, and building up your supply while still getting formula.

^ Great idea! I'd pump as much as you can at work, even if you get 1oz BM and 7oz formula, it's a move in the right direction! Also, BF all you can when you are with LO. If you are having trouble while you are with him, look into the SNS instead of using a bottle when you are available, the sucking will stimulate your milk production.

 

[sixzigma]

Thanks ladies !LO does have a good latch and I am pumping as much as i can and eating loads of fatty food -waiting for the supply to build up (it is so frustrating ) .

 

[sixzigma]

and as with DH- we have made a deal , if DS gets hungry in public and DH doesnt want/like me BFing in public he should taken the responsibly of (formula)feeding baby -which he politely agreed upon but is always lazy to do it (especially the preparing the formula part)and says well it looks like we can BF him here ;-)
Men are so unpredictably egoistic !!

 

[Miss Redknob]

That's great that you and DH have sorted things out, but what are you going to do about your boobs when you are out and bub is getting formula? My community nurse said to me if DH gives bub a bottle (breastmilk) I still have to pump that feed otherwise your supply will realise bub doesn't need it and will decrease.

 

[sixzigma]

i have been able to reduce the dependence on formula from 8 oz to 4 oz a day ...phew hope i can increase the supply further

 

[cat_reversing]

great progress, keep going!!