Major Birthday Party Dilemma! Advice..?

[xarlenex]

Yesterday, my mum decided to book Kyle a birthday party, which was really nice of her as I was planning to just take him to a nearby soft play area with a friend and her little boy.

Anyway, my partner now was there when my mum told me about the party and last night was talking about how hes looking foward to all the kids running about crazy. I hadn't asked him to come, I didnt think he'd really want to. But I asked him if he would like to be there and he said of course, that he just assumed he was coming. He's fully aware Kyles dad will be there. Its great that he's willing to put the awkwardness aside, but the problem being I doubt John (Kyle's dad) is going to be happy. They've never been in the same room yet, but John still maintains he wouldnt be able to stand it, and isn't ready to meet him yet. I've yet to tell John my partner wants to go.

I'm in a bit of a pickle! Do I ask Sam (partner) to not be there? It seems a little unfair. Or do I tell his father to deal with it, for the sake of Kyle's birthday?

Help pleasee!

 

[princessttc]

I personally would tell your babys biological dad to deal with it for the sake of your sons bday! They will have to be able to be civil sooner or later as their will be more and more events that they will both want to attend if they are going to be part of your sons life!!!

Hope you sort it out x x x x

 

[xarlenex]

I was just talking to my mum about it there and she agrees. She says I should tell him he's more than welcome to bring the girl hes been seeing, which I dont have a problem with. So I might try this. I'm going to see at some point today to pick invitations and birthday cake etc..so maybe suggest this then.

 

[mom-on-8/2009]

Invite them both and play dumb! Jk! I'm bad, i know! I'm not sure if the bio dad will grow up or not, but, all you can do is try. It wouldn't be fair to your guy not to invite him just because he isn't the bio dad, and tell bio dad this.

 

[xarlenex]

I mentioned it subtly on the phone there and he went "You're not actually inviting him..are you?" so I just told him we'll talk when he gets here. He's going to make such a big thing of it

 

[Always&4ever]

Id invite him aswell, who knows maybe they will be civil for Kyle

 

[xarlenex]

I know my partner now will be. He's not the type to be anything other than nice unless he has reason, and although John's already said he doesn't like him (never met him..) he' willing to let it go and try get on.

John detested the idea at first. But then we spoke about other things for 10-15 mins and he told me he'd changed his mind. And that maybe it'll be good for him. Like the next step to moving on or whatever.

Just really need to keep my fingers crossed now and hope the big boys behave just as good as the kids will be!!

 

[Serene123]

How long have you been broken up? He might not be over you, even though you would be fine with him bringing a girl with him if he wanted to, that doesn't mean he's alright with you bringing your new bit?

 

[xarlenex]

Yeah, I know. Nearly 4 months we've been split. He's not over me, but after talking he thinks it might do him good. I told him if he really didn't want him there i'd tell him, because I want him to enjoy his sons first birthday but he seems to like the idea and thinks it might actually help him move on.

 

[xXhayleyXx]

If it was me i would tell him to either deal with it for the sake of your son or not to bother turning up. Seems your new boyfriend is much more mature. Hope the party goes well xx

 

[Serene123]

Sounds like it's going to be good then! Enjoy it xx

 

[foxyroxie]

i think you have done the right thing would of told him the same

 

[nikky0907]

Personally, I think he should deal with it. You're all adults and the day is about Kyle.

I had like a little Christmas dinner at my house and invited both my new boyfriend and Lola's dad. Everyone was civil and there was really no awkwardness...



edit: sorry, I see it's been worked out. Nice work

 

[xarlenex]

Personally, I think he should deal with it. You're all adults and the day is about Kyle.

I had like a little Christmas dinner at my house and invited both my new boyfriend and Lola's dad. Everyone was civil and there was really no awkwardness...



edit: sorry, I see it's been worked out. Nice work

Did they talk okay to each other? John said he doesn't wanna say much more than hello.

 

[nikky0907]

Well tbh there were any deep convos and palsy chats but they said 'Hello' and reffered a few words to each other here and there.

Will there be plenty of people at Kyle's birthday, the more people the less work they have to put in to avoiding each other

 

[xarlenex]

yeah truee, theres also different areas for different age groups, so i can work it out so they aint near each other too!