Makes me embarrassed to BF sometimes

[staralfur]

I think if you were embarrassed about every choice you made alongside assholes, you'd be embarrassed about everything.

I'm not embarrassed because some breastfeeding moms are judgey and narrow-minded... I don't see any reason to be. That doesn't mean I'm okay with it, it's just that you're going to find people on their high horses everywhere. Best to not let their shitty attitudes affect you.

 

[Bex84]

I had from opposite side with people including other mums telling me how disgusting bf is

I'm sorry but out of all the negative comments about BFing that you do see, this is one that just makes me giggle. Disgusting? What do they think people did for thousands - nay, millions - of years before formula was invented? Do they think eating is disgusting?! How about breathing?

Lol. I like a human drinking human milk is disgusting and yet drinking milk from a cow is perfectly non-disgusting!

I know I never quite did get it lol, and the amount of times I heard my breasts are my husbands/boyfriends is ridiculus, I cant believe some people think like it

 

[Bex84]

and you can see I ignored as LO self weaned at 22 months, I used to just say I have no problem with people ff so don't know why people should have a problem with me bf

 

[joo]

I've been on the other side of this too - I commented on an article online which had some inaccurate information in. My comment was about the benefits of breastfeeding and I stuck to facts, quoted sources and provided links as I feel that people should be able to check things out for themselves and not just take my word for it. I didn't say anything negative about ff ing, just was positive towards bfing and I got slammed for 'shaming' and 'guilt tripping' mums who ff. I wasnt doing that at all, but it seems that you cannot openly be positive about bfing without being assumed to be anti ff. Made me very sad that we have become so divided and you're automatically assigned to a 'side' in some kind of 'mummy war'. I'm now very wary of posting anything outside of bnb

BnB can be just aa bad, especially the BF forum lol. Just the other week I felt like I was being chased around the forum by the same two women who were having a right old go on their soap boxes because I was saying not to feel guilty for not enjoying BF or wondering whether to swirch to FF or combi-feeding (as well as offering advice/support on their BF troubles). I have BF & FF my baby so I feel quite comfortable offering this advice or support, but these women were slating people for saying FF is ok. It's those women on their high horses who make people feel guilty for not breastfeeding or having to give up.

In 'real life' I do feel uneasy talking about BF. I go to a playgroup where everyone FF & I keep getting asked when I'm going to wean (follwed by derisive smirks when they find out I'm going to try and wait the recommended 6mo) & asking why I don't bring expressed milk rather than BF there (at a childrens centre where there's posters supporting open BF lol) I think everyone just gets on the defensive - they maybe feel like I'm judging them & I feel as though they're judging me. Playgroup gets very lonely at times lol x

 

[summer rain]

Hmm well a couple of years back I got a whole bunch of folks (whom the majority of are no longer active on the forum) chase me round the forum and attack me on any thread I had posted on purely because I posted some research that another mum had asked for regarding BF babies sleeping as well as FF babies, not better just roughly the same. The mum who had asked was a FFer herself! Some of these women who for the most part were FFers (and for the most part FFers by choice not by circumstance) but some were BFers who seemed to have an issue with BFing bizzarely, they were incredibly aggressive and rude to the extent I felt seriously shaky and anxious and considered leaving the forum. Thankfully it was dealt with by the admins very swiftly. You get militant FFers just as you get militant BFers, same with any other walk of life in all honesty. If I felt guilty for breastfeeding I would also have to feel guilty for home educating, selectively vaccinating and delaying those that I do give, baby wearing, baby led weaning and many other parenting decisions I have made, because you get proponents of all the above things that are very hostile and aggressive towards those who don't choose to do as they do. I'd never leave the house out of embarrassment and shame! Xx

 

[Mrs Bee]

Breast feeding is the best thing for my baby, I couldn't care less how someone else's baby is fed... As long as baby is happy and growing who cares!

 

[Twister]

It definitely happens on both sides. I have a friend who FF her baby from the start, she didn't even want to try BF (which is completely fine), and on numerous occasions has slagged off people who do breastfeed by insinuating that they are 'sheep' who are easily influenced by the 'breastfeeding brigade'. It seems she really takes issue with people who do breasfeed and is ultra defensive about her choice to formula feed from the start, saying things like 'there's nothing wrong with the bottle' etc. I have no idea why she feels the way she does but attitudes like that make me cringe just as much as the extreme attitudes of some breastfeeders. It's the minority of people who feel that way though.

 

[babyhopes2010]

I follow a few BFing groups on Facebook (Lactivist etc) and sometimes they are so high and mighty it makes me feel sad.

Yes BFing is best for your baby. Everyone knows this.

But the staunch anti FF comments almost embarrass me.

My aim is for DD to never have formula. But that's my choice and my business. The same equally goes for people who FF. they're not abusing their children but some if these people make out they are.

You'd think BFing mothers would be kind people.....

Sorry - rant over.

how refreshing to hear!

 

[I Love Lucy]

I think as long as your feeding your baby it shouldn't matter if it's breastmilk or formula.

 

[ChimChims]

A fed baby is a fed baby. I do talk about BF a lot more now b/c it went badly last time in the end, and this time I have so much better understanding and support. Because I see times changing where you're finally NOT being shamed FOR bf'ing (b/c sure used to be that way), I joyfully engage in pro-BF talk.

That said, I have no problems with FF and no misconception that I or any other BF momma is better. We say 'breast is best' to get more women educated, not to put down the masses. We say it b/c we're taught it, and b/c we can finally DO it.

It is like being a momma after going through infertility. I often feel squelched and made to feel guilty by my still infertile friends. I feel sad and ashamed that they don't get what I have. I am tired of not being able to even enjoy Mother's Day, even though I know all too well the hell it is. Having been there, I just want to enjoy it while I've got it!

I'm the same way with BF. I unabashedly enjoy it, but I'm not enjoying it to hurt someone else. If I see hurt feelings happening I'll be the first to state my intentions go in the opposite direction. Just happy to be here and have a baby to be concerned about feeding.

 

[fionar]

Totally agree with you there cupcake! I've noticed it with other parenting trends/preferences like baby wearing too- I follow a group on Facebook because I like to carry my little one and there are lots of good things about baby wearing for Mummy and baby etc but there are folks on there who who make you feel like ever putting your baby in a pram/buggy is neglectful parenting etc.

I only hate strollers because they're bulky and constantly in the way at family-oriented places like the zoo and oftentimes the people pushing them don't pay attention where they're going and run in to people!

Okay, hate is a strong word. I'm only bothered by strollers for the abovementioned reasons.

 

[doggylover]

i just don't want people to assume that because I say she's EBF and I want to do it for a long time that I'm trying to be high and mighty with them.

I was writing a blog post this week in celebration of national breastfeeding awareness week, and found it so difficult to word it so that I didnt come across as high and mighty as, like you, I worry that by saying I ebf people will take that as a slight if they don't. Crazy, but unfortunately true.

 

[TheNewMrs]

I get what you mean OP and it is awful that people are so up their own backside about how they naturally feed their kids. Seriously. If its not your kid why the hell do you care?!

What really gets me though is that if I MENTION BF at all, online (FB or whatever) I have a stream of FF'ers explaining to me that "not all mothers can BF, not everyone wants to BF" bla bla bla-the truth is, I don't care! My Status only said "Wooohoooo 15 months Breastfeeding today, and we LOVE IT!" I didn't need any explanations or excuses. Feels like you cant mention that you BF these days without someone defending their right not to bf!