Male Bmi to high??

[cabbagepatch]

Hi
My husband recieved the devstating blow that he had Azoospermia about 6 months ago, because my husbands bmi was 38 they basically waved us off from the hospital and said' come back when your bmi is 30 or below, however with your frame i doubt you will achieve this'

So here i am 6 mths later still anxious, still confused and with my life on hold until we manage to achieve this magic number!

He is currently at a BMI of 36. Xmas hasn't helped as many of our friends have babies celebrating their first xmas and as happy as i am for them, the photos just make me weepy and then my husband gets angry with me for looking on FB to start with!!

Has anyone else's husband been told to lose weight? How are you dealing with this? and What are you doing?

With such an amazing reason to lose weight, why does it feel so hard, painfully slow and so easy to give up!

He has tried every diet under the sun fom VLC to Atkins but they are not easy!

At first my friends and family were so supportive but its like everyone seems to have forgotten about it and this is my life now, this is all my lifes about!
I think about it 24/7 and im lost!

If anyone has any words of encouragement or a way thats helped them, please let me know, something has to give soon because its even affecting my job now

Thanks
Cabbagepatch

 

[hollyw79]

Gosh~ talk about a lot of pressure on him. That is terrible It is SO.VERY.HARD to lose weight... even when you're motivated. It was HARD AS HECK for me to drop just a few pounds for my wedding in October - and there was plenty of motivation there. I think the most important thing is to just support him as much as possible- I'm not sure how you yourself are... but make sure you're following the diet with him possibly? Try to get him moving as much as possible w/o it feeling like exercise- late night walks are ALWAYS nice AND romantic too.

About 6 years ago I lost A LOT of weight and it was the hardest thing I ever did in my entire life- it takes a HUGE commitment and will always be a daily struggle for me for the rest of my life honestly. What it takes- he has to reaaaaaaaaaaaally want it - I mean deep down reallllllllly want it and nothing you do can make that happen except to love him. The worst thing anyone can do is pressure in any fashion so I would try and avoid that at all costs. Just be encouraging.. do what you can do- and trust that it WILL happen.

Is he taking any supplements? I don't know much about this condition~ but from what I read ~ it could be genetic~ I don't see how his BMI is the only factor in this- is it just what's preventing them from treating you or helping you?? I'm sorry you're going through this!

 

[cabbagepatch]

Hi hollyw79

Thanks for your reply. I know i need to support and encourage him, i am trying to but i know from his face he sees it as nagging!!
The reason for Azoospermia is unknown at this point, but weight is not a cause of Azoospermia.They are just refusing to do any more tests to discover the cause, etc till he has lost the weight. So basically in his head he sees it that he could be losing weight for no reason as it may be theres nothing they can do for him in the end.!

He has quite alot of muscle as well which doesnt help because the DR said BMI doesnt determine whether its fat or muscle. It doesnt matter that he is pretty fit and healthy all that matters is this stupid number!!
My BMI is 28 so i have been doing it with him as well as i could do with losing a few pounds anyway.

Xmas hasn't helped because we have gone way off our diet!! So we are starting again in the morning and are planning on starting to go running as weve been told this helps shed weight!

The hospital wont refer us to the clinic until his BMI is sorted so i feel like theyve given us this devstating news and then just abandoned us to deal with it on our own. Its just hard as we have no answers!

I don't know whether to go to my doctors and speak to them, but i feel guilty because i feel like im wasting there time when theres ill people who need to see them.

 

[hollyw79]

That really stinks. Well- I WILL say just do whatever you can to help improve his My DH has a low count and low morphology so I have tried to read up on ALL that I can in the interim to help out.. he is taking a folic acid supplement, his regular vitamin, Triple Omega, NO alcohol.. and trying to keep active- he is in a pretty normal weight range- but @ the top of the normal range so it's a struggle for him too. All of this things/supplements WILL potentially make a difference... and those are easy things to do.

I know if it was me- I would have a VERRRRRRRRRY hard time keeping my mouth shut as this is what is delaying having a child... ie- my DH had a beer one night last week and I was like WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!??! I am about to start popping Clomid even though I am fine and you're going to decrease our chances possibly?!?! Even if only marginally? I wasn't a happy camper- so I understand the urge to say something- and believe me- I did.

Dealing with weight is SUCH a sensitive topic for me- because I was heavy my entire life and it was the biggest struggle to go through because it literally affects you every waking moment.. when you eat- which we as humans HAVE to do ... In my opinion- it's important that he knows how you feel... maybe you could sit down and totally in a loving and supportive way let him know how much you know that this is going to be hard and that you're there for him- and that it means very much for you and for your future children that he does this- AND for his long term health. Be honest and open so you get off your chest how you feel... and then- you have to be at peace with it- you've said what you have to say- and trust him to do the right thing.

I know that muscle and all that does come into play with BMI which stinks. I take it VERY personally when someone comments on my weight- and I am right where I need to be- but any joking or mention- I am hurt. Only he can change it though honestly... and don't worry about Christmas- those are the days where you SHOULD be relaxed and you SHOULD enjoy food- it's the day to day stuff that is the most important.

 

[hollyw79]

Out of curiosity too~ is there any way you could go somewhere else?? I see you're not in the US so it's totally different I am sure.. just not sure how that works over there.