DaisyDuke
Matilda Tasya's mum :)
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So i thought it was about time i did my birth story. As most of you know i had been monitored closely throughtout my pregnancy as Raisin was measuring small and the fluid was dropping. So on the 16th November we went to the hospital for our weekly scan and consultant appointment, and she was measuring ont he bottom line still so no major problem. However to our shock the fluid had literally vanished to nothing, so the consultant decided now was the time to induce us. So next thing we know we are whisked off to another room to discuss the induction, which i assumed would be in a few days time. When she said i was coming in tonight to be started off i burst out in tears. I was all of a sudden very scared, i have never even stayed in hospital before. So anyway we were given all the details and told to go home and pack and come back this evening. So we arived at the hospital around 7 as discussed, i was shown to my cubical (very scared). Very shortly after they came round and examined me and popped in the first prostin, which was uncomfortable but not to bad. I was then hooked up to a monitor to keep an eye on Raisin for an hour, all seemed fine and i was having mild contractions. So the next morning i was examined around 6am and my cervix has made no change they popped in another prostin, this time it was more painful but not unbearable, then they hooked me up again and the contractions were getting stronger. Btw i had no sleep at all as i was so scared.
Then dh came in for the morning, which was lovely. He had to go to work in the afternoon, and this is when i remember things getting worse. They came and examined me again and no change WTF??? At this point they mentioned a c section, but were hopeful another prostin would make a difference, but said after this one they would have to leave me till the morning. Well this one OMFG i have never experienced pain like it. The prostin makes ur insides very sore and leaves a gritty residue, so when they examin u it feels like gravel being rubbed over an open wound, it was so painful i lay crying and shaking for 30 mins after. They kept a close eye on me till the morning and the contractions again were stronger so they were feeling positive my cervix might be more favourable. At this point they also transfered me to a private room as they were worried i would have nothing left to give in labour as i had no sleep the night before, they also gave me a sleeping tablet (which i wasnt happy about taking) but thought how will i push raisin out without 2 nights sleep. So i managed about 3 hours sleep. Forgot to add the night before i had snoring on the ward women contracting the works so very hard to sleep.
So i woke up on Wednesday 18th and said to Raisin happy birthday, stupidly i was sure today was the day. So the registrar came round to examin me and bought gas and air, as she knew i would now be in a lot of pain. The gas and air was fab but it still hurt like hell and i was crying and climbing up the bed. She said my cervix was more favourable now and thought 1 last prostin (4 is the max) could do the trick. She said that i would be examined around 4pm and then a decision would be made if to do a section that night or not, so i was told i would either have my baby that night or be in established labour. Well surpise surprise they had many emergencies down stairs in delivery, so my examination didnt happen till around 6:30. We then found out there was no more change, and they couldnt fit me in for a section tonight. They would examin me agian in the morning in case there was anymore change. Obviosuly in a lot of pain after all these internals with my indides being sore and i have been contracting for 3 days. Yet again i was given sleeping tablets and managed a whole 6 hours.
So the next morning came and it was time for the registrar to come round and examin me, so more pain and gas and air and no friggin change. Next thing i know it's now and emergency c section, needless to say i was very scared, this was my worst case birth scenario and far away from the water birth i wanted.
Before i knew it was being prepared for theatre and was very upset i had to take my make up off lol, and within an hour i was in the operating room.
I can honestly say i have never been so scared in my life. Everything happened so fast and there was about 12 people in the room. And the anesatist was putting the spinal block in, i'm not gonna lie this really hurt and i was shaking with fear. Apparently they were putting tons of local anesetic in, but honestly i coudlnt tell. So they got it in very quickly and i was warned if i felt an electric shock to tell them, as soon as it went in i screamed as i got the shock, so they said let me know when it goes, they kept saying it and i coudld tell by there tone they were concernec. So again i started crying as it didnt go, so they had to pull out the spinal block. Turns out it's cos they brushed a nerve, and i'm left with a numbing sensation in my leg which apparently shoudl go in time (i hope so as im very worried i wont be able to work out again). So now they had to try and get it in again, by now i was in such a state and a lot of pain, so i kept flinching with pain, which is very dangerous i couldnt help it i was so scared. After abotu 30 mins of more pain and trying to get it in they said if they cant do it this time they will have to do a general anesetic, i couldnt beleive my ears. Thankfully this time it worked.
Next thing they were laying me out flat and my body was going numb, and they were checking i had no feeling. Then dh came in, i felt so sorry for him he could here me screaming down the hall (when i say screaming i dont mean horror film more moaning i wasnt that dramatic lol). Anwyay so he sat by my head holding my hand while i lay there shaking, it was a very weird feeling. Then about 5 mins later, up above the screen popped my little Raisin, i instantly started crying and the whole ordeal didnt seem so scary. They took her off for about a min and told dh to go over and be with her, they checked her over and said she seemed fine and was beautiful. I so happy and asked are they sure she is a girl lol, seemed to good to be true. She was so tiny and wrapped and put by my head i got as little frustrated as i couldnt see her properly as i couldnt move. They offered to put her on my chest but i had one arm to the side with a drip and was lying flat so didnt feel she was safe there.
Then they started stitching me up and took her back to be weight, a tiny 5 1/2 pounds. Dh then had to take her and wait for us in recovery while they stitched me back up, fyi silly dh looked down and saw me open on the table and they were a little worried he would be sick lol.
Now it all started to go very quickly i was wheeled into recovery and there sat on the chair was my little family complete (getting a little emotional as i type this). I couldnt beleive my luck.
They were excellent in recovery looked after us really well with very regular checks. I kept asking can i sit up more so i can see her better, to which i was told they would only move me a tiny bit at a time as they didnt want me being sick. But very soon they let me have skin to skin with her and she was put under my gown and she instantly settled and stopped crying, even now it feels like a dream. Very soon after that a lady helped me with our first feed on my side as i still had no feeling, it was amazing i was so proud we managed it.
Slowly the feeling came back and i was allowed some fluid (i had been starved and dehydrated 3 times in prep for a section) so i was mega thirtsty but only allowed sips. They then wash u and dress u ready to go up to ante natal, oh i miss my dignity lol.
I called my mum fairly quickly as i know her and my dad were so worried, my mum burst out crying and said she was so happy to hear my voice, i told them to come and visit that night so they could see i was ok. My sister also came down from london that night to visit.
So then were up in post natal had my visitors and everyone fell in love with her. Very soon after dh had to leave and i realised that Raisin, oh by the way by was given a name in the operating room, Matilda Tasya
I will stop refering to her as Raisin now, but it did take a while for dh and i to get used to calling her Matilda lol. Anyway when dh left i had realised she hadnt fed in hours, so i sat there for nearly 2 hours to get her to latch on and she did, yipee. Then throughout the night she fed every 1.5 hours, i made a mistake and didnt sleep as i couldnt move so had to get a mw to pass her to me and put her back so i spent the whole night awake staring at her, it was the best night of my life. But i should have slept and i made it hard on Matilda to settle without me after.
So the morning comes and they make u get up, oh the dignity. U are lying on a pad with nothing on ur bottom half and a sanitary towel between ur legs that the mw's changed for u and a cathetar in. Well u have to get up and walk across the ward like that with someone holding ur cathetar, oh the shame. I didnt think i would ever get up again but i did and got to dress my bottom half with help. Then they removed the cathetar and drip, then u have more milestones every time u get up to go to the toilet and they make u shower and take the bandage off that day to it seems like a distant nigtmare already but every step feels like a huge hurdle.
Ok so now things start going wrong, Matilda stops feeding??? I have no idea what has gone on, she fed fab throught the night. So every man and his dog wants to get involved watching u feed telling u what ur doing wrong. One bf specialist said she would check for a tongue tie but never did. I had dh mum and sister come to visit that night and Matilda was just crying she wouldnt leave my boob but couldnt feed so i had to sit there with my boob out to pacify her. I had never planned on feeding in front of mil and sil as were not close but had no choice to sit there with my boob out, the mw says i should cancel there visit but i knew if i did i would get slagged off so had to go along with it.
So the next day came and Matilda has barely fed, i was so upset, she was weighed and suprise surpise had lost a lot of weight 9% something if they have gained more that 10% then u have to stay in. We were boarderline and agreed to stay in as she was so tiny to begin with. Another bf specialist came round and i was so upset as Matilda had not fed in 6 hours and yet again we had no sleep. I kept being told i had baby blues wtf i was just concerned for my baby? Anyway the next bf sujested we had to get come food in her so i agreed to a tiny bit of formula thro a syringe (omg tho they make u feel guilty about that, i mean ur baby is literally starving) as she was lapping that she noticed her tongue tie. WTF my poor baby went another 24 hours cos the previous lady never checked. We had 15 mins to decide if to operate if not we had to wait till Tuesday it was now Satuday. So we decided we had no choice, so she was taken off and it was like a miracle she came back and fed great.
The next morning we were told we could go home and our discharge was actioned, so we packed up dh took everything to the car and bought the car seat up. Next thing a peadeatrician came in and said we cant go she had lost over 12% now which was no surpise as she had only just started feeding again. Throught the night she had fed for a 3 hour stint and a 2 1/2 hours solid. The peadeatrician told me i had the baby blues again cos i was crying, to which i replied u have just told me there is a problem with my baby, its natural to be upset, my dad cried last night when he was in and she had her tongue tie op does he have baby blues??? What a moron. Anyway she said the mw were wrong and is not normal to feed for that long and i should not allow it but i must get more food in her wtf? So i asked can i express to get my milk flow in asap? She said she would get a mw to go thro a feeding plan with me, which seemed crap as she had just said they were wrong.
Anyway i started expressing, but i was very sore from her suckling with her tongue tie and had to use a nipple sheild to feed (yet again i was made to feel guilty).
At about 6pm one of the mw that i am very grateful for looked at our feeding chart and went and got a (much nicer) peadeatrician as she was concerned she still was not getting enough. When she came round and told me how much she was suppose to get i was so angry and upset i had no idea and knew she was getting no where near what she needed, i am very angry the peadeatrician in the morning did not tell us what she needed, and i will be making a complaint cos yet again thanks to there negligence Matilda suffered.
So then we had a 3 hour feeding plan, feed, express, sterlise equipment, top up with milk book milk in and out of fridge. No suprise this left no real time to sleep. At one poing in the night a mw said let me take her for an hour and u get an hours sleep ill top her up with the expressed milk. So i agreed and was very grateful as by now i was scared i would fall asleep while feeding her, after all i had just had major surgery to. Anyway they bought her back to me and i asked how she was and how she fed, to which they told me they gave her a bottle of formula WTF without my permission. I was fuming and felt sick, i later found out this is actualy assult on my baby. Then i had to find out why this has happened, and i was told a peadeatrician was up there looking at another baby and the mw asked him to look at Matilda to which he said get a serious amount of food in this baby now or she will be on a drip by the morning, so i could kind of undertsand her decsion but i should have been consulted. Thro that night the started questioning my dates and think from the way she fed she was boardeline prem. Thro that night she went majorly orange to and they did a jaundice test and tbh we were sure she would need treatment, she looked like she had a really bad fake tan.
So the morning comes and next thing were now being refered to tcu, honestly it was just one thing after another, and i was still getting no sleep. It was a lot better for us in tcu and all the baby's looked like Matilda all the baby's on post natal looked like toddlers in comaprison. To our surprise her jaundice results came back in the not needing treatment stage. That morning in her weigh in she gained a little weight. Feeding was still difficult cos she was so hungry and got angry as she tried to latch on so it was difficult. Gonna fast forward a little as this is mega dragging. A few days later in tcu and another weight gain we were allowed home.
The minute we got home she settled and fed brilliantly it was amazing. The first night home we had no sleep which was the norm for me by now, but came as a rude shock to dh lol.
The first morning home, more stress as the mw came and she had lost weight, so we were very worried we would be re admitted to the main hospital, they had put the fear of god into me about the main hospital by now as they said it was full of germs, the mw said it could just be her scales as there all different, said she was feeding well and will come back tomorrow.
She is now gaining weight slowly, and slowly im starting to finally get a few hours sleep a night she struggles to settle in our room but was a little better last night.
Well done if u read all that, probably have loads of mistakes so sorry for that, doubt ill have time to check it thro lol. She is feeding excellently now and is an absolute dream we are so blessed. She is not back to her birth weight yet but getting there she dropped to below 5bls and one point but fx will be nearly 5 1/2 again soon.
Needless to say i am very un happy with the hospital and will put in a complaint at some point and noway will i have another baby there.
I am doing much better now and healing well
Thanks for reading and for everyone's support i really appreciate it. I will start a parenting journal soon.
The long and the short of it is (and all that matters) we have been home a week now and both doing well. My gorgeous Princess was born on 19th Novembver 2009 at 11:25 by emergency c section, i couldnt be happier.
XXX
Then dh came in for the morning, which was lovely. He had to go to work in the afternoon, and this is when i remember things getting worse. They came and examined me again and no change WTF??? At this point they mentioned a c section, but were hopeful another prostin would make a difference, but said after this one they would have to leave me till the morning. Well this one OMFG i have never experienced pain like it. The prostin makes ur insides very sore and leaves a gritty residue, so when they examin u it feels like gravel being rubbed over an open wound, it was so painful i lay crying and shaking for 30 mins after. They kept a close eye on me till the morning and the contractions again were stronger so they were feeling positive my cervix might be more favourable. At this point they also transfered me to a private room as they were worried i would have nothing left to give in labour as i had no sleep the night before, they also gave me a sleeping tablet (which i wasnt happy about taking) but thought how will i push raisin out without 2 nights sleep. So i managed about 3 hours sleep. Forgot to add the night before i had snoring on the ward women contracting the works so very hard to sleep.
So i woke up on Wednesday 18th and said to Raisin happy birthday, stupidly i was sure today was the day. So the registrar came round to examin me and bought gas and air, as she knew i would now be in a lot of pain. The gas and air was fab but it still hurt like hell and i was crying and climbing up the bed. She said my cervix was more favourable now and thought 1 last prostin (4 is the max) could do the trick. She said that i would be examined around 4pm and then a decision would be made if to do a section that night or not, so i was told i would either have my baby that night or be in established labour. Well surpise surprise they had many emergencies down stairs in delivery, so my examination didnt happen till around 6:30. We then found out there was no more change, and they couldnt fit me in for a section tonight. They would examin me agian in the morning in case there was anymore change. Obviosuly in a lot of pain after all these internals with my indides being sore and i have been contracting for 3 days. Yet again i was given sleeping tablets and managed a whole 6 hours.
So the next morning came and it was time for the registrar to come round and examin me, so more pain and gas and air and no friggin change. Next thing i know it's now and emergency c section, needless to say i was very scared, this was my worst case birth scenario and far away from the water birth i wanted.
Before i knew it was being prepared for theatre and was very upset i had to take my make up off lol, and within an hour i was in the operating room.
I can honestly say i have never been so scared in my life. Everything happened so fast and there was about 12 people in the room. And the anesatist was putting the spinal block in, i'm not gonna lie this really hurt and i was shaking with fear. Apparently they were putting tons of local anesetic in, but honestly i coudlnt tell. So they got it in very quickly and i was warned if i felt an electric shock to tell them, as soon as it went in i screamed as i got the shock, so they said let me know when it goes, they kept saying it and i coudld tell by there tone they were concernec. So again i started crying as it didnt go, so they had to pull out the spinal block. Turns out it's cos they brushed a nerve, and i'm left with a numbing sensation in my leg which apparently shoudl go in time (i hope so as im very worried i wont be able to work out again). So now they had to try and get it in again, by now i was in such a state and a lot of pain, so i kept flinching with pain, which is very dangerous i couldnt help it i was so scared. After abotu 30 mins of more pain and trying to get it in they said if they cant do it this time they will have to do a general anesetic, i couldnt beleive my ears. Thankfully this time it worked.
Next thing they were laying me out flat and my body was going numb, and they were checking i had no feeling. Then dh came in, i felt so sorry for him he could here me screaming down the hall (when i say screaming i dont mean horror film more moaning i wasnt that dramatic lol). Anwyay so he sat by my head holding my hand while i lay there shaking, it was a very weird feeling. Then about 5 mins later, up above the screen popped my little Raisin, i instantly started crying and the whole ordeal didnt seem so scary. They took her off for about a min and told dh to go over and be with her, they checked her over and said she seemed fine and was beautiful. I so happy and asked are they sure she is a girl lol, seemed to good to be true. She was so tiny and wrapped and put by my head i got as little frustrated as i couldnt see her properly as i couldnt move. They offered to put her on my chest but i had one arm to the side with a drip and was lying flat so didnt feel she was safe there.
Then they started stitching me up and took her back to be weight, a tiny 5 1/2 pounds. Dh then had to take her and wait for us in recovery while they stitched me back up, fyi silly dh looked down and saw me open on the table and they were a little worried he would be sick lol.
Now it all started to go very quickly i was wheeled into recovery and there sat on the chair was my little family complete (getting a little emotional as i type this). I couldnt beleive my luck.
They were excellent in recovery looked after us really well with very regular checks. I kept asking can i sit up more so i can see her better, to which i was told they would only move me a tiny bit at a time as they didnt want me being sick. But very soon they let me have skin to skin with her and she was put under my gown and she instantly settled and stopped crying, even now it feels like a dream. Very soon after that a lady helped me with our first feed on my side as i still had no feeling, it was amazing i was so proud we managed it.
Slowly the feeling came back and i was allowed some fluid (i had been starved and dehydrated 3 times in prep for a section) so i was mega thirtsty but only allowed sips. They then wash u and dress u ready to go up to ante natal, oh i miss my dignity lol.
I called my mum fairly quickly as i know her and my dad were so worried, my mum burst out crying and said she was so happy to hear my voice, i told them to come and visit that night so they could see i was ok. My sister also came down from london that night to visit.
So then were up in post natal had my visitors and everyone fell in love with her. Very soon after dh had to leave and i realised that Raisin, oh by the way by was given a name in the operating room, Matilda Tasya
I will stop refering to her as Raisin now, but it did take a while for dh and i to get used to calling her Matilda lol. Anyway when dh left i had realised she hadnt fed in hours, so i sat there for nearly 2 hours to get her to latch on and she did, yipee. Then throughout the night she fed every 1.5 hours, i made a mistake and didnt sleep as i couldnt move so had to get a mw to pass her to me and put her back so i spent the whole night awake staring at her, it was the best night of my life. But i should have slept and i made it hard on Matilda to settle without me after. So the morning comes and they make u get up, oh the dignity. U are lying on a pad with nothing on ur bottom half and a sanitary towel between ur legs that the mw's changed for u and a cathetar in. Well u have to get up and walk across the ward like that with someone holding ur cathetar, oh the shame. I didnt think i would ever get up again but i did and got to dress my bottom half with help. Then they removed the cathetar and drip, then u have more milestones every time u get up to go to the toilet and they make u shower and take the bandage off that day to it seems like a distant nigtmare already but every step feels like a huge hurdle.
Ok so now things start going wrong, Matilda stops feeding??? I have no idea what has gone on, she fed fab throught the night. So every man and his dog wants to get involved watching u feed telling u what ur doing wrong. One bf specialist said she would check for a tongue tie but never did. I had dh mum and sister come to visit that night and Matilda was just crying she wouldnt leave my boob but couldnt feed so i had to sit there with my boob out to pacify her. I had never planned on feeding in front of mil and sil as were not close but had no choice to sit there with my boob out, the mw says i should cancel there visit but i knew if i did i would get slagged off so had to go along with it.
So the next day came and Matilda has barely fed, i was so upset, she was weighed and suprise surpise had lost a lot of weight 9% something if they have gained more that 10% then u have to stay in. We were boarderline and agreed to stay in as she was so tiny to begin with. Another bf specialist came round and i was so upset as Matilda had not fed in 6 hours and yet again we had no sleep. I kept being told i had baby blues wtf i was just concerned for my baby? Anyway the next bf sujested we had to get come food in her so i agreed to a tiny bit of formula thro a syringe (omg tho they make u feel guilty about that, i mean ur baby is literally starving) as she was lapping that she noticed her tongue tie. WTF my poor baby went another 24 hours cos the previous lady never checked. We had 15 mins to decide if to operate if not we had to wait till Tuesday it was now Satuday. So we decided we had no choice, so she was taken off and it was like a miracle she came back and fed great.
The next morning we were told we could go home and our discharge was actioned, so we packed up dh took everything to the car and bought the car seat up. Next thing a peadeatrician came in and said we cant go she had lost over 12% now which was no surpise as she had only just started feeding again. Throught the night she had fed for a 3 hour stint and a 2 1/2 hours solid. The peadeatrician told me i had the baby blues again cos i was crying, to which i replied u have just told me there is a problem with my baby, its natural to be upset, my dad cried last night when he was in and she had her tongue tie op does he have baby blues??? What a moron. Anyway she said the mw were wrong and is not normal to feed for that long and i should not allow it but i must get more food in her wtf? So i asked can i express to get my milk flow in asap? She said she would get a mw to go thro a feeding plan with me, which seemed crap as she had just said they were wrong.
Anyway i started expressing, but i was very sore from her suckling with her tongue tie and had to use a nipple sheild to feed (yet again i was made to feel guilty).
At about 6pm one of the mw that i am very grateful for looked at our feeding chart and went and got a (much nicer) peadeatrician as she was concerned she still was not getting enough. When she came round and told me how much she was suppose to get i was so angry and upset i had no idea and knew she was getting no where near what she needed, i am very angry the peadeatrician in the morning did not tell us what she needed, and i will be making a complaint cos yet again thanks to there negligence Matilda suffered.
So then we had a 3 hour feeding plan, feed, express, sterlise equipment, top up with milk book milk in and out of fridge. No suprise this left no real time to sleep. At one poing in the night a mw said let me take her for an hour and u get an hours sleep ill top her up with the expressed milk. So i agreed and was very grateful as by now i was scared i would fall asleep while feeding her, after all i had just had major surgery to. Anyway they bought her back to me and i asked how she was and how she fed, to which they told me they gave her a bottle of formula WTF without my permission. I was fuming and felt sick, i later found out this is actualy assult on my baby. Then i had to find out why this has happened, and i was told a peadeatrician was up there looking at another baby and the mw asked him to look at Matilda to which he said get a serious amount of food in this baby now or she will be on a drip by the morning, so i could kind of undertsand her decsion but i should have been consulted. Thro that night the started questioning my dates and think from the way she fed she was boardeline prem. Thro that night she went majorly orange to and they did a jaundice test and tbh we were sure she would need treatment, she looked like she had a really bad fake tan.
So the morning comes and next thing were now being refered to tcu, honestly it was just one thing after another, and i was still getting no sleep. It was a lot better for us in tcu and all the baby's looked like Matilda all the baby's on post natal looked like toddlers in comaprison. To our surprise her jaundice results came back in the not needing treatment stage. That morning in her weigh in she gained a little weight. Feeding was still difficult cos she was so hungry and got angry as she tried to latch on so it was difficult. Gonna fast forward a little as this is mega dragging. A few days later in tcu and another weight gain we were allowed home.
The minute we got home she settled and fed brilliantly it was amazing. The first night home we had no sleep which was the norm for me by now, but came as a rude shock to dh lol.
The first morning home, more stress as the mw came and she had lost weight, so we were very worried we would be re admitted to the main hospital, they had put the fear of god into me about the main hospital by now as they said it was full of germs, the mw said it could just be her scales as there all different, said she was feeding well and will come back tomorrow.
She is now gaining weight slowly, and slowly im starting to finally get a few hours sleep a night
she struggles to settle in our room but was a little better last night.Well done if u read all that, probably have loads of mistakes so sorry for that, doubt ill have time to check it thro lol. She is feeding excellently now and is an absolute dream we are so blessed. She is not back to her birth weight yet but getting there she dropped to below 5bls and one point but fx will be nearly 5 1/2 again soon.
Needless to say i am very un happy with the hospital and will put in a complaint at some point and noway will i have another baby there.
I am doing much better now and healing well
Thanks for reading and for everyone's support i really appreciate it. I will start a parenting journal soon.
The long and the short of it is (and all that matters) we have been home a week now and both doing well. My gorgeous Princess was born on 19th Novembver 2009 at 11:25 by emergency c section, i couldnt be happier.
XXX
xxxx
xx
