*may trigger anxiety * im terrified!

[Momma89]

Hi, im 28 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I'm excited but very scared to give birth in a couple months. I know my anxiety is most likely from googling years ago way before I got pregnant. I came across articles about amniotic fluid embolism ever since then it's stuck in my head all the stories I have read. I was on YouTube and another one of those stories came up again today! A lady died during labor from AFE, I obviously watched it like an idiot and my anxiety is through the roof. I'm trying not to cry but there have been hand full of times I had to let it out, im just that terrified. I pull myself together after few minutes cause i feel guilty and worried im stressing my baby girl. I talked to my family and husband about my fear and all they say is I need to calm down for my baby, nothing will happen.

I have good days but alot of bad days. My mind goes wild. I have a small uterine polyp diagnosed before got pregnant, never had it removed cause doctors was not worried. So I think that will tear and cause AFE. I also was told years ago I got friable cervix, I bleed during pap smears and I bled apparently during my last pap smear in beginning of my pregnancy. The doctor said I would notice bleeding at home after pap but never did and she asked if I had bleeding during sex and I never do so she thought that was weird cause I do have friable cervix. That being said.. I'm afraid my cervix will tear during delivery too.


I bought up amniotic fluid embolism with my OB and he tells me it won't happen and to stay off google.


I know it rare but I'm the type of person who thinks it will happen to me no matter how rare something is, every surgery I had I was convinced ill die. Now with childbirth I'm doing the same. I hope I'm wrong again and I survive it! Anyone like me out there afraid of this happening?


Ps I also think because everything going smoothly so far (hopefully stays that way) that something bad is going to happen. I'm seeing hursts alot lately so I think that is a sign im going to die. I think weird stuff or just can't see myself around my daughter to raise her some days but then other days im confident.

 

[Momma89]

Anyone out there??

 

[jessicaftl]

Not any experience with AFE, but I know anxiety can really play on your emotions. I know it is definitely easier said than done to not Google stuff, because you'll always find the most horror stories. You'll likely be just fine.

Since this is your first, I can definitely understand feeling anxious about anything going wrong. Birth plans rarely go according to plan, and it is good to be prepared. You might benefit from talking to your doctor about your anxieties, or even taking a birthing class to be educated and ready for it all!

 

[cheerios]

Oh Hun, I didn’t want to read and run. Fear is a real emotion but you CAN overcome fear. I’ve been reading this book called “supernatural childbirth” by Jackie Mizie and it talks about the issue of fear while pregnant and giving birth and how to overcome it by talking to your body and also meditating on bible verses. The lady who wrote it experienced painless and very easy labours!! I’m not sure if you believe in God, but I find that meditating on Bible verses regarding fear helps to overcome the emotion of fear. I would totally recommend you to get the book and read it!!! It also contains testimonies of other women who have read the book and have overcome their fear of giving birth and ended up having very easy and smooth deliveries! Very encouraging!!!

Basically, it says giving birth is nothing but contracting your muscles. When you contract your arm muscle, it doesn’t hurt but it just feels tense. That’s how childbirth can be, but fear causes more pain than it should be.

Fear impedes a smooth birth cos the muscles cramp up. But having faith in God and your body, will help your body to do what it CAN do, helps you to relax and your muscles can contract more effectively. It’s a lot of mind over matter!! And also getting a midwife who you’re comfortable with.

This is my 4th pregnancy and I would say that while I still don’t think giving birth is a bed of roses, my births have gotten easier, faster and smoother!!

Also, just a word of advice. You need to STOP googling. I used to be like you. Google and got myself scared like mad. I literally had to tear myself away from Dr Google. It took years of self-control. And yes, I googled what you wrote about and got myself scared too, cos I’ve not heard about this condition before.

But knowing about something is not the same as that happening to you! I think of all the doctors who know about every single illness / cancwer / pain symptom cos it’s their job to know. Do they go crazy thinking they will die of the same illnesses?? No way!! They just have knowledge and that’s it. You are NOT the woman who died. You are you. God has you in the palm of His hands. And these verses always encourages me.

“You are made fearfully and wonderfully. (Psalm 139) The good work that God has started in you, He will bring it to completion. God did not give you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a SOUND mind. Perfect love drives out all fear. When I am afraid, I will trust in you God.” — just a few verses that are shared in the book.

 

[Momma89]

Thank you ladies. I know I need to stop googling but part of me thinks I'll come across information to prevent AFE. I did come across an article that stated a case of AFE and she flat lined, couldn't be resuscitated but they injected sodium bicarbonate and it started her heart. I don't know how true it is but it is alittle reassuring that they might have found something to save lives. I really hope it's all fear and not premonitions. Hubby and I are starting prenatal classes tonight so I hope that helps. I have tried to see a therapist but they cost so much and we got to save for alot before baby girl comes. It sucks I can't get help I need but I know if everything goes well in delivery this anxiety will be much better. It's all been over dying in childbirth the last few years.

I do believe in God. It's funny I said to my husband (hopefully not jinxing it) that how grateful i am cause I have prayed for a smooth pregnancy and so far it's been pretty good. Had couple hiccups along the way but I know people that ended up with way worse. That being said I'm still worrying, told my husband God is probably shaking his head cause he can't please me. Im also pretty sure I had a couple visitation dreams from my grand parents, one before got pregnant and another recently. I told them how scared I am of dying in childbirth and they told me to relax I will be fine and I'm going to live a long life. So God has been answering my prayers and sending me signs but I'm still worried most of the time. It's crazy.

 

[tankel]

Hey, I don't know much about AFE, but I also have a friable cervix and bleed very easily. Just wanted to say, I had a very smooth labor with my first and my cervix survived just fine.

Hope you find some peace soon. You can do this.

I always joke that it is normal to get terrified in the late 20's and early 30 wks of pregnancy, then you get so uncomfortable, you'll do just about anything to get the baby out, and all the fears vanish.

 

[Momma89]

Thank you, I hope I can have smooth delivery. I know once this is over it will be the biggest relief ever if everything goes well. It's reassuring that you had friable cervix too and all went well.

Hey, I don't know much about AFE, but I also have a friable cervix and bleed very easily. Just wanted to say, I had a very smooth labor with my first and my cervix survived just fine.

Hope you find some peace soon. You can do this.

I always joke that it is normal to get terrified in the late 20's and early 30 wks of pregnancy, then you get so uncomfortable, you'll do just about anything to get the baby out, and all the fears vanish.

 

[GoacaEblac]

I understand you, sis. Pregnancy and childbirth are so scary that every mom can get anxious and depressed. But it will help you if you remember that all fears are in your head, not in reality. There is one way how do you treat anxiety. I took an anxiety treatment when I was pregnant, and I've been fine ever since. The environment was pleasant and relaxing, I wasn't stressed, and no one bothered me. I received mental and psychological help, as well as medical help if I needed it (luckily I didn't have it). Now I have a wonderful one year old daughter and no anxiety or depression. She lights up my life and is pure happiness to me."

 

[LucamoreDub]

I understand you, sis. Pregnancy and childbirth are so scary that every mom can get anxious and depressed. But it will help you if you remember that all fears are in your head, not in reality. There is one way how do you treat anxiety. I took an anxiety treatment when I was pregnant, and I've been fine ever since. The environment was pleasant and relaxing, I wasn't stressed, and no one bothered me. I received mental and psychological help, as well as medical help if I needed it (luckily I didn't have it). Now I have a wonderful one year old daughter and no anxiety or depression. She lights up my life and is pure happiness to me."

Hi! You think right, wise words

 

[DobbyForever]

Totally was ready to say seek treatment for anxiety as well, especially in pregnancy then after birth.

But just wanted to say this thread is from
2018. OP posted about her worries once a month until her due date. I couldn’t find any posts after 38w, so hopefully she had a lovely birth and no complications thereafter.