Maybe a little irrational but I just need to vent.

[Baby_Dust1985]

I'm quite new here and haven't posted much, mostly because I've been reading stories from ladies who have been TTC for a while so I don't want to come across impatient or ungrateful but I just need to get a few things off my chest...

I had my implanon out in early June and had my first period at the end of July. Myself and OH are NTNP but I'm surrounded by pregnant ladies at work and now I seem to want it sooooo badly (I think about being pregnant and having our own baby ALOT).

AF is due tomorrow and I tested this morning on the off chance but I got a BFN, we did BD around the right time this cycle but I wasn't really expecting to get a BFP but somehow I was really disappointed and felt really let down (I know it's irrational as we have been NTNP for no time at all really).

I suffer with anxiety and my head is filling with all sorts of things like what if my implanon has ruined my fertility, what if my weight loss (I lost 200lbs over 2yrs) has damaged me,what if my OH is infertile (he's 10yrs older than me and didn't lead the healthiest lifestyle before we met but things have improved loads in the 4yrs we've been together)...I have all these thoughts racing around but I'm trying to be rational.

I'd like to BD more but we both have stressful jobs and a busy lifestyle so it's not always possible to DTD all the time.

I'm not really sure why I'm ranting but I just had to get it out- if there are any other ladies who have the same worries,it would be good to hear from you.

 

[jayjay123]

There is nothing that helps my stress more than a good rant on here to get my worries off my chest. The support the ladies offer on here is wonderful. And although I may not be able to offer you much advice, (I hope someone comes to shed a bit more light on your situation,) I didnt want to just read and run.

You didnt say how long you have been ntnp for,
but Ive heard situations where people have ntnp for 3-4 years before they fell pg.

My other half, nor me, have ever had any health issues. No major weightloss (well done by the way, im sure you look fabulous for it. and weight loss should benefit you in trying to concieve anyway.) none of the worries you stated - were both 19 and healthy nonsmoking nondrinking easy going people - but we've been ntnp for nearly 10 cycles with no luck. I often think it should be really easy for us to fall pg..

Stress is a factor which really goes against conception. So do try to relax, as hard as I know it may be! (im obsessed, trust me haha..)

Perhaps its just a case of bad timing, or something! But im sure itll happen in time. Just try to enjoy lots of bd when you can. Good luck xx

 

[29andHolding]

I'm in the same (or similar) boat as you. I've seeing friends/family have their 2nd and 3rd child and just hoping for the 1st! But try to be patient and relax (it's good for your body, too). I'm about a week away from the evil AF coming to visit and have already had two 's and some abnormal symptoms for the past half week or so... so I'll be checking back tomorrow to see how things are going. Good luck!

 

[jayjay123]

29andHolding - sorry to chat irrelevantly on this thread but can I just ask what you mean by abnormal symptoms?
Its just ive had lots of pg symptoms this past week, symptoms I dont normally get - I have a soldid 33 day cycle since November coming off bc pill (there have been 2 months where its been 35) but never ever less than 33 days. This month, the month i was concinved i was pg, af come on day 29. This is like half a week early for me! Its not like my usual period, and the supportive ladies on here have advised I still test..

Perhaps your testing to early. Dont give up hope, this may still be your month. (if not atleast you get lots and lots of bd next month tehe) goodluck & baby dust your way.x

 

[Baby_Dust1985]

Thanks ladies for replying!
JayJay- we've only been NTNP since June but because of my anxiety I have a lot of irrational worries which I know are unlikely to come true but I still worry about them anyway.
Myself and OH were smokers but we have given up a year ago as we knew we wanted to NTNP and smoking is not a habit I want any future child of ours to see from its parents.
OH did spend a short time in rehab 10yrs ago due to cocaime addiction (he worked in the city and got involved with through work), he's been clean for years but I worry that this may have permanently damaged his fertility. I read that a mans sperm is regenerated every 75 days so I'm hoping that any damage done years ago may have improved.

The ladies on here all seem lovely so I'm looking forward to sharing my slightly obsessive journey with them :-/

 

[jayjay123]

First off, Id like to say that I admire your partner for having the strength to over come his addiction. Massive well done to him, Ive seen first hand how difficult it can be.
Try not to be anxious, it can take the adverage couple a year to concieve, when actively ttc. So even longer when simply not using protected as timing and what not is not on point. Im considering beginning to test when i ovulate to make sure i can baby dance on the right days haha!
good luck ,and if you ever need someone to talk to you can message me. x

 

[29andHolding]

JayJay - symptoms have been nausea (for about 5 days now), weird taste in my mouth (started about 3 days ago), very sleepy and EMOTIONAL! (Goodness gracious I swear a cooking show makes me cry Lol )- also I have no tenderness/pain in my BB's although that's something I usually experience about 2 weeks before AF (sucks being a woman sometimes lol) I've taken 2 hpt's and all although today i didnt take it in the morning and took it in the middle of the day - so i'm wondering if I should take one tomorrow morning when HCG maybe more apparent. But it's still a week before AF should arrive so I might try and wait 2-3 more days. It's so hard!

But anyway, good luck to you!! It can be so hard when our bodies are out of whack

 

[jayjay123]

Aaaah, I shall keep my fingers crossed af holds off for you! & you get a bfp. You symptoms sound promising. Good luck x

 

[Padan1111]

Hi girls.

I just wanted to say to Baby_dust well done to both you and your partner for weightloss and breaking addiction and giving up smoking! Surely all these things will have a positive effect on your chances of conceiving. I think we all need to remember that for healthy partners (as you are!) there is still only a 20% chance each month of successful fertilisation, that's only 1 in 5. So if it doesn't happen straight away or even after a while of trying, it's not necessarily because there are any problems, it's just bad luck You've maximised your chances by changing your life styles, now it's down to luck and patience (unfortunately!).

Saying that it's difficult to convince yourself that everythings fine, I know.

Fingers crossed for everyone

 

[Baby_Dust1985]

Hi girls.

I just wanted to say to Baby_dust well done to both you and your partner for weightloss and breaking addiction and giving up smoking! Surely all these things will have a positive effect on your chances of conceiving. I think we all need to remember that for healthy partners (as you are!) there is still only a 20% chance each month of successful fertilisation, that's only 1 in 5. So if it doesn't happen straight away or even after a while of trying, it's not necessarily because there are any problems, it's just bad luck You've maximised your chances by changing your life styles, now it's down to luck and patience (unfortunately!).

Saying that it's difficult to convince yourself that everythings fine, I know.

Fingers crossed for everyone

His Padan,
Thanks for your message. You're right- I guess we just assume sometimes that getting pregnant is going to happen straight away ( impatience must be a woman thing lol).

Good luck & lots of baby dust to you all!