Shri
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This might be a bit garbled. I'm still totally exhausted.
We went in for our c-section and I was really happy and exited. The Epidural was pretty uncomfortable but within minutes it seemed Oscar was held up for us to see, had a good cry and weed all over the nurse. My hubby was clearly over the moon - I however was feeling extremally drowsy and weird and remember thinking to myself I would be able to connect with my baby very soon.
In recovery room they brought Oscar to me and I remember crying and that the lactation consultant got him latched on and it was quite wonderful. Then he had to be taken to the nursery again while they transfered me to our room for the next couple of days.
I wasn't in that room long before I suddenly felt really weird and within seconds was unable to breath. I don't remember much except that I felt hellish and like I was locked inside my body and I could hear the doctors asking me my name and what day it was etc. I kept trying to reply but it was weird, I just couldn't wake up....
Hours later Oscar was brought back to us. I was still feeling odd but getting better. I'd been vomitting and had to have oxygen and people kept checking on me. They suspect it most likely to be the morphine epidural that caused this.
Anyway we managed and i kept going with the BFing but it was an exhausting night. I barely got 5 minutes without another blood test or more checks on my heart and lungs etc and so it felt like I never got that special time to really connect with Oscar which made me so sad. He is the sweetest most beautiful baby and I was positively dying to just have some proper time with him without interuptions or feeling ill.
As the time in the hospital went on, the interruptions continued and BFing became really difficult as Oscar and I were having difficulty with the latch. It really f-ing hurt and within hours my nipples became blistered.
However, I was up and walking about a bit by the next day.
Ever since then I have felt in a bit of a haze. It has taken days and days for the effects of the morphine to leave my body and even now I don't feel quite right. I've persisted with the BFing but have also had to express sometimes when my nipples are too wrecked. We have had some help with this ( really really expensive lactation consultant) and it seems that Oscar is just a bit tense and can't open his mouth wide enough. Sometimes he gets it though and I suspect all this is because of how things went so shortly after his birth.
He is wonderful. OH and I are so in love with him (and OH has been so fantastic that I am head over heals with him in a new way too). Also Oscar seems to have a bit of cholic. We are doing alright though.
I'm terrified of when OH has to go back to work and his family have been really pants. We were promised some help but it is all a bit weird and confusing. No one has asked me how I feel or congratulated me or really even talked to me, so without OH and talking to my mum on the web-cam, I'd be losing my mind.
I'm still feeling pretty blue. It has all been so hard. The first night home Oscar had blood in his posset which totally freaked me out. I screamed. It turned out to be blood from my traumatized nipples.
So, just waiting for things to get easier and trying to enjoy the moments between the chaos as best we can.
He is so beautiful and perfect. I'm so glad he is here and I can't wait until I feel myself again.
There is a pic of him in my journal if anyone wants a peep.
x
We went in for our c-section and I was really happy and exited. The Epidural was pretty uncomfortable but within minutes it seemed Oscar was held up for us to see, had a good cry and weed all over the nurse. My hubby was clearly over the moon - I however was feeling extremally drowsy and weird and remember thinking to myself I would be able to connect with my baby very soon.
In recovery room they brought Oscar to me and I remember crying and that the lactation consultant got him latched on and it was quite wonderful. Then he had to be taken to the nursery again while they transfered me to our room for the next couple of days.
I wasn't in that room long before I suddenly felt really weird and within seconds was unable to breath. I don't remember much except that I felt hellish and like I was locked inside my body and I could hear the doctors asking me my name and what day it was etc. I kept trying to reply but it was weird, I just couldn't wake up....
Hours later Oscar was brought back to us. I was still feeling odd but getting better. I'd been vomitting and had to have oxygen and people kept checking on me. They suspect it most likely to be the morphine epidural that caused this.
Anyway we managed and i kept going with the BFing but it was an exhausting night. I barely got 5 minutes without another blood test or more checks on my heart and lungs etc and so it felt like I never got that special time to really connect with Oscar which made me so sad. He is the sweetest most beautiful baby and I was positively dying to just have some proper time with him without interuptions or feeling ill.
As the time in the hospital went on, the interruptions continued and BFing became really difficult as Oscar and I were having difficulty with the latch. It really f-ing hurt and within hours my nipples became blistered.
However, I was up and walking about a bit by the next day.
Ever since then I have felt in a bit of a haze. It has taken days and days for the effects of the morphine to leave my body and even now I don't feel quite right. I've persisted with the BFing but have also had to express sometimes when my nipples are too wrecked. We have had some help with this ( really really expensive lactation consultant) and it seems that Oscar is just a bit tense and can't open his mouth wide enough. Sometimes he gets it though and I suspect all this is because of how things went so shortly after his birth.
He is wonderful. OH and I are so in love with him (and OH has been so fantastic that I am head over heals with him in a new way too). Also Oscar seems to have a bit of cholic. We are doing alright though.
I'm terrified of when OH has to go back to work and his family have been really pants. We were promised some help but it is all a bit weird and confusing. No one has asked me how I feel or congratulated me or really even talked to me, so without OH and talking to my mum on the web-cam, I'd be losing my mind.
I'm still feeling pretty blue. It has all been so hard. The first night home Oscar had blood in his posset which totally freaked me out. I screamed. It turned out to be blood from my traumatized nipples.
So, just waiting for things to get easier and trying to enjoy the moments between the chaos as best we can.
He is so beautiful and perfect. I'm so glad he is here and I can't wait until I feel myself again.
There is a pic of him in my journal if anyone wants a peep.
x
