Mean girls...

[seoj]

My lovely step-daughter (whom we have full time) is SUCH an amazing kid. She's smart and funny and quirky and cute and overall just wonderful. She has her "moments" like all kids do- but truly, she's only gotten easier as she's grown... and is SO respectful of us and others as well. She would NEVER intentionally be mean to another girl- only time she would say anything would be to defend herself and even then, she would just tell them they are being dumb and walk away...

Over the years, there are some girls at school that have called her names. Names I don't even think I'VE ever been called- let alone when I was in school. I'm guessing, because they are jealous or have nothing better to do with their time or weren't raised to be nice to other girls???? Who knows... but my kid is very outgoing and social and talks to boys, no problem. Not shy or reserved like other insecure girls may be...

Basically, she's been in High School a little over 2wks... and she had her first High School "at school boyfriend" the past week... as she is not allowed to go out on dates yet. She's only 14yrs old. So she "dated" this boy about a week when he kissed her (very innocently)- but it was her first kiss... and she came home and told me about it and said there was no spark. lol. So I advised that, because it seemed this boy really liked her, it wasn't fair of her to continue to see him if she didn't feel the same way. She agreed- but I told her to do what felt right for her... and she broke up with him the next day.

Well... some girls at school have already started calling her names and spreading rumors. I just got a text from my kid telling me this... which, is what she was worried about.

I'm just SO frustrated... I know it's "normal"- but it's not right. I hate bratty little girls like that... as my child would NEVER call another girls names just because she broke up with a boy... period! She was raised better than that.

My child did what was right- she didn't lead him on and realized he wasn't who she wanted to date. I didn't want this to happen to her at all- let alone her first couple weeks of school.

I did warn her though- that because she is cute and smart and outgoing, there might be girls that will pick on her. That she needs to be careful of her actions- even IF she is in the right- because of what others may think... even if they are TOTALLY wrong. Which sucks- cause she should be able to be 100% herself... I just know how some "Mean Girls" can be... ugh. I hope I gave her good advice... I don't ever want her to doubt who she is or become insecure because of random crappy things others say...

Anyone been through this before? What worked, what didn't... I've told her to do her best to ignore them and it will go away on it's on- that they will find someone else to pick on tomorrow or the next day... but I know it hurts to hear that stuff regardless of whether it's true. The sad thing is most of the girls picking on her have more "experience" with boys than she does- her's have all been very innocent thus far... she just has a lot of guy friends and has no issues talking to boys. So she's a target sometimes.

If we could only protect our children from this crap... but, it's all part of life. And hopefully the are stronger for it in the end... I just don't want it to escalate into something more...

Sorry for the long post... thanks ladies!!!

 

[shellie]

I havent been through this before but I just wanted to say that those other girls sound horrible. It's such a shame that its always the nice kids that get picked on. I hope that these girls just give up and that karma gets them in the future. xxx

 

[seoj]

Thanks Shellie... that is my hope as well. I KNOW my kid will be OK long term- it's just never fun to watch your kid go through this kind of crap. Makes me want to hunt down the parents of these girls and give them a whats for! LOL. Not that it would make any difference to them...

 

[shellie]

I see where your coming from. If a kid was picking on my son I'd want to see the parents too. xxx

 

[youngmummy94]

I can really relate to this as I'm 17 and been through all the taunts from kids. Some girls are really just horrible and have nothing better to do with their time so they pick on others. The best she could do is completely ignore them, if she retaliates in any way they will probably keep going.

 

[seoj]

I tell her to do exactly that... just walk away, it's not worth wasting time on those types of girls or kids in general. I just wish her freshman year had started off better... but I know in the long run she'll be OK.

 

[AirForceWife7]

Girls are so mean .. especially to other girls, most of the time because they are jealous I'd say to tell your step-daughter to just give them the cold shoulder, if she doesn't retaliate, they have nothing to egg the situation on & just end up looking like the idiots they are

 

[seoj]

Girls are so mean .. especially to other girls, most of the time because they are jealous I'd say to tell your step-daughter to just give them the cold shoulder, if she doesn't retaliate, they have nothing to egg the situation on & just end up looking like the idiots they are

Oh for sure!! It's frustrating as a parent... but I have faith she is capable and can handle herself. She is lucky to be one of the self-assured and strong girls... so she doesn't always "understand" why all the drama? LOL. But I also know it hurts to hear... regardless of who or why it was said. Even if it's not true.

Thanks!!!!!

 

[seoj]

Thanks everyone for your feedback and support... just so many avenue's to harass these days... I am actually VERY glad I grew up in the times before cell phones, emails, facebook, twitter and all those other social sites and ways for kids to communicate and make fun... such a different time. And, unfortunately, I think our society as a whole encourages this type of "mean girl" behavior with reality TV and the shows our kids are exposed to. We try our best to keep our kid from watching certain shows- but you can't shield them from everything... obviously.

Ok- enough of my soap box!!!