So, after my loss in September at 17 weeks I find myself pregnant again. I have an appointment on Monday to see a Midwife who delivers at my hospital of choice. The small handful of people I've told about my pregnancy, espeacially the nurses where I work, when I tell them that I am planning to see a midwife they look at me like I've just signed my unborn baby's death warrant...
I don't think that I would be considered high risk. I lost my son because he had a chromosomal abnormality. Nothing my OB or I could have done would have saved his life. I've always wanted to try for a natural birth. I tried with my first son but ended up having to have a cesarean after 17 hours of pain medication and epidural free labor because I wasn't dilating properly. I contribute that largely to being induced at just over 40 weeks. I think if they'd let me go a little longer I'd have been able to have him naturally. My body just wasn't ready. If at all possible I want to avoid being induced this time around.
On the other hand, I am scared to death to be pregnant again. I want regular scans and blood tests and reassurance that my baby is still alive every step of the way. Espeacially in these early weeks.
Am I being stupid, going with a midwife after my loss? Should I be erring on the side of caution? Is it wrong to still want a natural pregnancy and birth? I feel strongly that when successful natural birth is best for the baby and the mother. I'm not ridiculous, of course I'd rather have my baby alive and healthy than stubbornly clinging to the idea of the "perfect birth experience." Which is why when my OB told me with my first child that it was time to have a cesarean, I signed the paperwork and resigned myself even though I died a little inside. But is it wrong to try for it a second time around? Wreckless?
I'm feeling a little like I did something wrong and I'd like to hear opinions from other women in the same spot.
I don't think that I would be considered high risk. I lost my son because he had a chromosomal abnormality. Nothing my OB or I could have done would have saved his life. I've always wanted to try for a natural birth. I tried with my first son but ended up having to have a cesarean after 17 hours of pain medication and epidural free labor because I wasn't dilating properly. I contribute that largely to being induced at just over 40 weeks. I think if they'd let me go a little longer I'd have been able to have him naturally. My body just wasn't ready. If at all possible I want to avoid being induced this time around.
On the other hand, I am scared to death to be pregnant again. I want regular scans and blood tests and reassurance that my baby is still alive every step of the way. Espeacially in these early weeks.
Am I being stupid, going with a midwife after my loss? Should I be erring on the side of caution? Is it wrong to still want a natural pregnancy and birth? I feel strongly that when successful natural birth is best for the baby and the mother. I'm not ridiculous, of course I'd rather have my baby alive and healthy than stubbornly clinging to the idea of the "perfect birth experience." Which is why when my OB told me with my first child that it was time to have a cesarean, I signed the paperwork and resigned myself even though I died a little inside. But is it wrong to try for it a second time around? Wreckless?
I'm feeling a little like I did something wrong and I'd like to hear opinions from other women in the same spot.
