Midwife wants me to have a homebirth

[CharlieKeys]

We moved to a new area a few weeks back, midwife came to my house & she is desperate for me to have a home birth. I knew she would, as a few friends have said how brilliant they are with home births here & they do like to push it on you.

I'm really not sure ... I like the thought of climbing in my own bath & my own bed after having him. But, I know from previous experience I get really antsy at home waiting to go to the hospital, just wanna get out of the house and get there ... Plus what about the neighbours? And the mess? I don't want to deliver him in my bed, so where else would you deliver him?

I don't know, I would love too have one, just have so many worries going around in my head. Any advice/previous experiences would be great! Thank you

 

[lau86]

Why are they pushing home births? There are 'private' midwives up here called one to one which people believe are better as they are your midwife for the whole of pregnancy. But the one to one midwives are not allowed to birth women on nhs grounds due to insurance and things so they have to push a home birth. Essentially they don't get paid unless the women have a home birth.
I wouldn't be impressed with a midwife trying to push either a home or hospital birth without finding out what my wishes were. Go with your gut instinct. It's your fourth so most probably you will be home very quickly anyway

 

[BunnyN]

Home birth was a fantastic experience for me. People who have been a part of a HB are often very passionate about it and just want others to experience it too. However it must be something you want. Based on reasearch and knowing myself I felt like it was the most relaxing and safest place for me and my baby and I think my labour would have been quite different in hospital. If you are not comfortable with it though you won't feel safe and relaxed which I think is important.

As for mess it doesn't make as much mess as you'd think. Most of it is well contained and cleaned up by the MWs before they go. Unless you have new white carpets in the whole house I wouldn't worry too much.

 

[Nikki_lou]

My home birth was amazing and if we were to have other children i would not hesitate to have another if i could! I was slightly nervous as i have fairly quick labours and worried the midwife wouldnt make it in time but i would have rather given birth at home alone than in the car on the way to hospital!
Once the midwife arrived i felt more relaxed than when i got to hospital with my first born. I was in a familiar place, my other half felt more useful as he could get things for the midwives etc and as for the neighbours i couldnt have cared less lol. Im not much of a screamer or anything but they probably heard something!
As for mess we used cheap shower curtains to cover where i birthed and some old blankets and the midwives brought the waterproof bed pad things to cover as well. They cleared it all away after and we were just left with a little bit of washing (towels blankets etc). I also didnt want to give birth in bed so i knelt on a pillow on the floor leaning over my sofa which felt the most natural position for me. There is also no nicer feeling than cuddling your newborn in your own home, having a shower/bath in your own home and having a lovely cuppa afterwards lol.
Hope my experience has helped in some way, good luck with what ever you choose but id agree not to be pressured into it if its not something your comfortable with doing!

 

[BunnyN]

The good thing about HB is you can give birth where it feels right. I was squatted on the floor beside the bed with husband sitting on bed behind me so I could lean on his knees.

 

[smallpeanut]

Yay that's a mini break through for home births!

Get online, and spend a few hours doing some research! For second babies and low risk pregnancies the risk factor is the same as hospital. I was dying to get to hospital the first time because that's all I knew, however with my second it was so much more controlled.

The choice is yours but home birth was the best thing for me x

 

[Alyssa Drough]

I'm considering a home birth for next time.

A lot of people hire an inflatable birth pool and all the necessary equipment that goes with it. Dunno how much it costs though.

I wouldn't worry too much about the neighbours! They'll have to put up with baby crying through the walls anyway! The best thing you can do is warn them and apologise in advance. I'm sure they'll understand!

But at the end of the day don't do it unless it's what you really want. You need to feel as comfortable as possible - be it at home, a birth centre or in a hospital.

 

[Feronia]

I absolutely loved my home birth! I felt that the pain was far less intense being in a comfortable place. The mess was hardly anything (and I hemorrhaged and lost over a litre of blood), and the midwives helped clean up so I didn’t have to do a thing. The neighbours didn’t hear me – and I’m in a 1-bedroom apartment in a complex – and I didn’t bother warning them ahead of time.

You can rent out a birth tub if that appeals to you. Water is very soothing and being in a warm, weightless pool gives you a chance to rest between contractions and a lovely, peaceful way to bring your baby into the world. I’m planning on having my second home water birth!

 

[MindUtopia]

I think you have to do what feels right to you. The best place to birth is where you feel the most comfortable, but it's great that she's letting you know what options you have. So often midwives just assume you want to be in hospital and don't discuss all the different options you have that they could support you in.

I had a home birth for my first and it was an absolutely wonderful experience, and I plan to birth at home for all future babies assuming we're healthy and all is going well. You can read my birth story in my signature if you want to have an idea of what a home birth is like. But I truly believe I got the best possible care because I was at home and not in hospital. I know for certain that if I'd been in hospital, I'd have ended up with an instrumental delivery because I was 'taking too long' (I pushed for 4 hours). But my baby was back to back and just needed time to turn and I was lucky that because I was at home, I had midwives who knew what my wishes were (not to have them intervene just for the sake of it or because they were in a hurry to get off shift) and were able to sit back and wait for us. I wouldn't have been treated as respectfully in hospital and I wouldn't have had the personal, individual care from a dedicated team of midwives who were caring only for me. It was just a wonderful, relaxing, dare I say enjoyable experience. I actually didn't really find birth that painful (and I had a totally natural birth with just a TENS machine, no gas and air) and that's because I was relaxed and comfortable. And it was great to be in my own home where I could just relax and feel like I had my own personal space and all the things I needed around me. The midwives were packed up and gone within about 2-3 hours and I got to spend the night with my husband and daughter, without any grumpy midwives telling us he had to go home. It was fantastic.

As for neighbors, they didn't know and I'm not sure they know even now (our house is semi-detached but we have thick walls and honestly I didn't make much noise, some grunting while pushing, but there really wasn't any screaming, also I doubt they were even home as it was during the day). The mess was no big deal. I gave birth on my bedroom floor. Most ladies get some shower curtains and towels to put down under them, but all mine were downstairs (underneath the pool I never used because I ended up walking around my upstairs instead). No one thought to bring any of them up to the bedroom, so the only thing they put under me was one of those bed mat pads. That caught some of it, the rest did go on the floor, and then there was some blood on the sheets/mattress as well (again, no one really put anything under me once I decided to move to the bed). But if you just have something to cover the floor with, it's easy to just roll up and toss out. And you can put something over the bed as well. I didn't really care so we didn't do much. The sheets washed (there is a small blood stain left on the mattress, but it's a mark of pride!) and the blood stain on the carpet (it was about 18" in diameter) came out completely with some Vanish carpet cleaner. You'd never know it was there. There really isn't much mess. The midwives straighten up and take most of it with them, and your partner might have to do a bit of cleaning and run the washer (if you don't just throw everything out). Really, it's very contained though and not messy at all. If you do use a birth pool, it's as easy as draining it with a submersible pump and then just putting the liner in the bin.

I'm a big believer that the best place for anyone to birth is wherever they feel most comfortable and safe. For me, that was at home. In fact, I think ladies who want to birth in hospital seem really brave - that sounds so scary! Definitely not something I'd want to do if I had another option. You might find being at home feels really right for you once you look into it, but you also might just be someone who likes the idea of being in hospital, and that's fine too. But definitely worth looking into and considering if it's something you might want to do. I've never met anyone who had a home birth and looked back and wished they'd been in hospital instead. It's definitely worth considering. There's an excellent home birth group on Facebook (have a search for Home Birth Chat Group). They might be some great ladies to ask some questions of if you have any (I know this subforum isn't always super active).