Miscarriage @ 7wks...Need some encouragement

[Jessa]

My husband and I started trying to get pregnant in June of this year. I went off the birth control pill and got my period exactly 26 days later. Then, about five days after it ended I started spotting which continued on for about 10 days. I called my doctor and made an appointment because I thought it was odd to be spotting for that long. That was on Friday, August 8th.

He made me pee in a cup so that they could test to rule out pregnancy, although he thought that was very unlikely since I'd already had a regular period. I phoned the office on Monday, August 11th (my first wedding anniversary) to hear the news that we were indeed pregnant!

I knew immediately that it wasn't going to stick though because I had started to bleed quite heavily about 4 hours before that phone call. I made an appointment for the next day (Tuesday) to talk about why I was bleeding and what the next steps were. That night, last Monday, I spent most of the night on the toilet bleeding. I knew before I went to my appointment on Tuesday that we had lost the baby.

The doctor sent me for an ultrasound immediately (literally within minutes of my appointment at his office) and they found that nature had taken care of things. In the words of the technician, "There's nothing left". The doctor figures that I was bleeding through the whole thing and was about 7 weeks along. I was a mess that evening and into Wednesday.

Since Wednesday night, I've been relatively good. No crazy crying fits like the previous day, however, I experienced another one tonight when my husband and I went to have sex for the first time since.

I just can't seem to bring myself to be intimate with him and I'm not sure how to get over the feeling. My husband is being SO understanding and supportive of me throughout the last week, but I'm not sure where to go from here.

Has anyone else experienced this disinterest in sex after a miscarriage?

Thanks for listening...

 

[todteach]

Honey, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I had a miscarriage too, mine was in May.

I'm sorry that I can't help you with your question. For me it was the opposite, couldn't get enough.

After a loss, it isn't uncommun at all to uninterested in sex. I hope that this feeling passes for you soon. Give yourself time to heal and please talk to your husband about it. I'm sure that he wil be understanding, as he has just lost this precious baby too. I wish that I could just jump through this computer and give you a big hug. My thoughts are with you. If you want to talk, feel free to pm me. It just breaks my heart to see others that have also had miscarriages. It's just a huge empty feeling. Sorry.

 

[Jessa]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. My husband and I talked about it quite a bit lastnight and again this morning....AND I just BD! Phew! For me, it was all about being in the moment and not thinking so much. Thanks again!

 

[todteach]

Take care hun!

 

[SJK]

sorry for your loss xx

 

[honeybunch2k7]

Yes, I did...Except it was my OH who didn't want sex.

 

[superp123]

Jessa,
I'm so sorry for your loss. With my first mc (@12wks) I wanted absolutely nothing to do with sex. For me the whole experiance left me so vulnerable and exposed (quite litterally- my DH was with me through all the scans and exams etc.) I just couldn't get past that for awhile. Plus it terrified me to have to go through that again. It took me months to get past alot of those feelings and years before we'd TTC again.
I think everyone is different, as I'm sure your reasons vary from mine, but its okay to just... be okay with where you're at right now. Don't push yourself too much too fast, take your time and be better. Sending you lots of
P

 

[Logiebear]

I'm glad you managed to bd hun and I'm glad you realise for you it was about over thinking, it's a woman thing to do that. I am so sorry for your loss and I have had 2 m/c myself so I know your grief. I had the opposite effect though and just wanted to BD all the time to get pregnant again!! Take time to heal yourself and your heart xxx

 

[Jessa]

Thanks for all your support everyone! I must admit that I was quite surprised last week when the doctor and ultrasound technician confirmed it. As I said to my husband, this was never in what I had envisioned to be my life plan. I'm starting to come out on the other side and am positive that we'll have a successful pregnancy next time.

It only took us one month of trying to get pregnant, so I'm hoping it won't take that long next time either. ***fingers crossed***

 

[buffycat]

hi Jessa

i hope you don't have to wait too long until your next bfp, i had to wait 11months for mine, but then i had my mc. Now 5 months on, i'm still hoping for that magic bfp.

am sorry for your loss though, i know that it is such a emotional upheaval...

take care...luv & hugs

 

[BrookTTC#2]

yes i have had 7 m/c now.. and i just recently had one
i do have 1 child
but honestly now the m/c's are worse knowing what it could be.... if it lasted
as for sex i dont want anythng to do with it. to be honest...
it makes me cry..
so i know how you feel!
a lot has to do with hormones but i know the emotional side to it about kills me
if you need to talk i am here
and would be willing to
i hope your feeling better hunny!