Mischa's coming home this week- Why don't I feel ready.

[Mrs. Swain]

Hi all, I'm totaly new to this & have been reading a lot of your posts, but no one seems to feel the same way, I guess I'm just looking for some sort of comfort that what I'm feeling is normal.

Well I got to 25 weeks, Mischa was born on the 11th march by emergancy C-sec, these past 3 months have been the most disturbing thing I've ever had to deal with. We had just arrived in Germany (3 weeks prior, Husbands in the armed forces) I had my first introductory midwifes appointment the day before, everything was fine, but the next day I just didnt feel right.. Anyway to cut a long story short, nothin could be done to keep her in & she was delivered 2 hours after I arrived at the hospital weighing 1lb 14oz . she was kept in ICU for 11 weeks, & has spent the past 3 weeks in a less intense ward, 2 days ago she got took out of the halfway incubator & into a cot, She's had all her tests, & I am absolutely ecstatic to say theres not a thing wrong with her, she now weighs in at 4lbs 7oz, & the doctors have said she's made remarkable progress & is free to come home once a heart monitor has been located and delivered to our house ( the germans are very precautious). She's the most perfect little thing & I love her more than life itself, But I'm finding it very difficult to imagine myself looking after her full time, She's an easy child to look after, hardly crys, always sleeps, The perfect child... I know I can look after her, I've spent the past 3 months hoping for this day to hurry up.... But now I feel as though I'm not ready, I know I need to get a grip, She's coming home an theres not a thing I can do about it... I just don't understand why I'm not overjoyed at the thought of her being home.... Is it normal to be this terrified??.

 

[freddiesmum]

Hey congratulations on your little girl and im so glad she is healthy!! I think whar you are feeling, a lot of us girls have felt!! Hey, ive had my boy home over 2 weeks and im still frightend, im still not ready! If you go back through the posts about 3weeks ago i wrote a post pretty much identical to yours! It is hard what we go through, watching them week after week in hospital, knowing they are in the best place but longin them to come home and when they do its not the same as if u had gone full term! But by the sounds of things she is fantastic and i give you a week and it will be like she has always been there!! U will be more ready than you think xxx

 

[vermeil]

Hello!! Like freddies mom said, I think many of the moms here will agree - we're never ready when they finally come home I was a nervous wreck too the first few days. You develop such a trust and sense of security from all the monitors and 24/7 surveillance. But they don't release our little miracles until they're ready to come home. And as you say they are overly cautious.

Everything will be fine!! Enjoy your precious first weeks of cuddles

 

[AUGmum]

Congratulations on the birth and the home coming of ur child. I am so glad she is healthy and well done to her and u for coming this far.

 

[MissMuffet08]

I truly understand how you feel. I was given 2 day notice that my daughter was coming home. Though i was ecstatic i was also a nervous wreck. Katelym has been home for a little over two weeks and i will say the first couple of days were hard. I cried alot (baby blues) and felt like i didnt know what i was doing and thought maybe they released her too soon. It has gotten better and i love having her home and am glad that got home when she did.

You will do.great and remember we are here for you and to suppprt you/ each other

Best,
stephanie

 

[Mrs. Swain]

Thank you all so much, Last night when we went to the hospital we was told the monitor had been delivered, we got taught how to use it & first thing this morning we did our baby CPR training... & I must say just knowing exactly what I should do in an emergancy has been a massive weight off, I'm now running around like a crazy person making sure everythings stocked up, making sure my house is in order & trying so hard to prepare myself for teaching this tiny little person the rights & wrongs in life.... I talked it through with the husband & we discovered that I'm just putting waaay to much pressure on myself to be the perfect mother ( as mine has never been about)... I feel a lot better, I cant believe how ungreatfull I made myself sound in that last post :/ I guess... Its just a mothers instinct to think these things & I'm so greatfull for your comments to make me realise this Thank you xxx

 

[MissMuffet08]

Mrs Swain - Glad you are feeling better. Also, I know how it is to try and run around to get your house in order. Please don't make yourself crazy. The only thing you really need at the moment are diapers and a place for you LO to sleep. The rest you can do in time. Trust me once she is home sleep will be a priority so try and get some now.

HUGS!