Missing Him...

[butterflies24]

I just joined here as feel so down and friends and family just say ''your better off without him''... maybe thats true but it doesnt feel that way to me...

Here is what has happend... I was a happily single mum to a two year old when I met B he was lovely, he was also so good with my son and I quickly fell in love with him, we rented a home together and were happy there for a year or so, then things went down hill as we were struggling with money and getting I to debt, I fell pregnant after 2 years and lost the baby, he was so supportive and we became really close, then suddenly he packed his stuff and left, saying I had changed, he had started going out with his mates and drinking a lot, to me it seamed he had changed.
I moved into a cheaper place back in the area we came from, and he came back and we were getting on so well, he persuaded me to try again for another baby, I really made the effort for him, but he just left again for no reason, two days later I found out I was pregnant, he promised I had his support. We remained close but he didn't want to discuss our relationship, he still sees my son regularly and treats him as his own, he said he wanted me back, then refused to talk to me, in the end I said I had enough and we should just be friends, up until now though he kept me hoping we would still have a future together... Then the other day I find out he has been seeing someone else. He said its just casual, but to me its just made us splitting up so final, I never gave up hope we would be a happy family again one day, now all hope has been taken away from me.
Ive decided to just have space from him and told him to arrange seeing my son through my mum.
Its so hard though cos I love him so much, I cant stand the thought of him with someone else and have been in tears the last few days. I never expected this from him, he wanted our baby. I am trying to be so strong for my son and baby but inside I feel so broken, Ive never felt so down.

 

[lal]

I just found out my baby's father has a girlfriend. We obviously aren't together but it still hurts more than when he just wasn't there. I don't have any advice for this, I also have been crying for 2 days and am torn between being disgusted by him and jealous of the girl. Has there been a guy in your life that you've looked back on and though, ugh, glad I got rid of him? I am waiting until I get there with the baby's dad. It will happen, it always does. Head high chicky, most girls on here have been through this and it hurts like the dickens but we'll be alright and come out stronger in the end.

 

[butterflies24]

Do u know what you are right, I had the same thing happen with my first sons Dad although I kinda expected it from him, when I look back im so glad he is out of my life so Im sure I will probably feel the same years down the line, it is so hard though, they could at least wait a bit before moving on. I think everything happens for a reason though, I think him moving on will help in a way cos its time to accept we will never be together again. Its just so hard thinking about him with someone else I know what you mean I dont know if I feel jealous or angry. Hormones really dont help!

 

[shyfox1988]

snap huni i know how that feels its soo hard but you will get through this and one day you will meet someone that will help you move on

i was a single mummy to 2 lil boys before i met my ex carl we took it slow then got together he has trouble getting used to the fact i had kids cause he wasnt used to them, so in the end he didnt know what he wanted so i ended it, then we still stayed extreamly close friends and surprisingly fell pregnant with our lil girl, he decided then he wanted to try and make a good go of things again, after each scan we got closer and closer the more excited he got, he even started to get really close to my boys as well, he went on holiday for 3 weeks and when he came back he realised he loved me and really wanted to make a life with me and my boys and our lil girl even wanted to find a bigger place to move to, to become a proper family, he took on my boys just as his own and my boys adored him then nearing the end of the pregnancy he started to get the same niggerly doubts again and said he didnt know what he wanted(this crushed me soo much) so we stayed together and i gave him a 2 week break so he could think about things, then after that we ended up having a great weekend together with my boys and he decided he defo wanted to stay together and seemed happy again, then a week later he changed and dropped the bomb shell on me that he didnt want to be together anymore(was 36 weeks pregnant at the time so this sent me into shock hormones all over the place) he said he still loved me and wanted to be with me but couldnt be with me(boggled my head to crap ) he stopped txting and talking to me right until i was about 39 weeks then all of a sudden started talking to me again and we got close again(if you know what i mean) everyone that didnt know we wasnt together anymore still thought we was because of the way he was being with me again, even while i was in labour all the midwives thought we was together they was shocked when i said that we wasnt, and even now our baby girls 4 weeks old and still says he loves me but we cant be together i really dont get it myself( i have a feeling there might be someone else but cant be totally sure)

i love him soo much and its soo hard whenever we see eachother expecially if we are on our own cause he'll still act like we are a couple yet we are not, and i know theres no getting back together really but with him acting the way he does when we are alone always gives me that false hope that maybe we could be a proper lil family,

ive now decided i cant take his head games anymore and im trying my best to move on, still lingering with the hope that if he sees me moving on it might make him realise what he will loose and that he will come running back, silly i know.

but hold your head high hun, you will get through this i promise, us girlies on here have been through similar situations to you and will always be here to support you through this the best we can its going to be hard and you will miss him but you've got your lo and baby on the way that you need to be strong for and carry on, we dont need a man in our lives, as long as we have our kiddies we can get through anything,

remember our kids will be ours and be there for life, yet men come and they go


if you ever wanna chat your more then welcome to privet message me xXx

 

[butterflies24]

It is def all head games, the girl he was seeing slept with his best friend (haha) but since then and since I told him I want space he is calling and texting all the time... he keeps asking to come round too, so far have managed to be stubborn and say no, its so hard cos I would love him to come round, grr... on plus side had a scan today and bump is healthy x

 

[butterflies24]

hope things work out for you by the way hun xx

 

[shyfox1988]

It is def all head games, the girl he was seeing slept with his best friend (haha) but since then and since I told him I want space he is calling and texting all the time... he keeps asking to come round too, so far have managed to be stubborn and say no, its so hard cos I would love him to come round, grr... on plus side had a scan today and bump is healthy x

awww bless you huni, it will be hard, but at least your staying stubborn, wish i had your will power lol any chance i get to see my ex im silly and seem to jump at it

awww glad bump is healthy huni

hope things work out for you by the way hun xx

thank you hun i really hope they do as well xXx

 

[emilio.oh.oh]

I've been really missing my baby daddy the last couple of days, which is sooo stupid because he's rotten. But I think I miss the idea of him really. In my head I picture him being a wonderful caring father and friend and in reality he's a selfish prat who couldn't care less. I think it's just hard doing this on our own but it is important to remember these men are pigs and we are definately better off without them. We do deserve better. We definately do.

So my strategy is to just take a day at a time and anytime I feel lonely and feel like I want to contact him, I just call a friend instead. They end up making me feel happier than any words from him ever could.
xxx

 

[butterflies24]

Aaagh im not as stubborn as I hoped, he came over christmas eve and I was silly and got used again!! I know I deserve better (we all do)and that he is the one whos loss it is at the end of the day i just dont understand him and he refuses to talk about anything, when we are together he is so lovely then its like I get close and his barriers go back up... soo fustrating!! Just wish we were starting 2011 as a family and could put all the crap in 2010 behind us... looks like il be a single mummy tho! hope one day these men realise they have thrown away something special xx

 

[shyfox1988]

Aaagh im not as stubborn as I hoped, he came over christmas eve and I was silly and got used again!! I know I deserve better (we all do)and that he is the one whos loss it is at the end of the day i just dont understand him and he refuses to talk about anything, when we are together he is so lovely then its like I get close and his barriers go back up... soo fustrating!! Just wish we were starting 2011 as a family and could put all the crap in 2010 behind us... looks like il be a single mummy tho! hope one day these men realise they have thrown away something special xx

huni your not silly and your not the only one that gives in when it comes to that side of things, we cant help how we feel about them and everytime they use us it gives us just that tiny incling that maybe things could be ok and we could all be the great lil family that we all wish and dream of, they give us false hope then shatter it time and time again, we are the nuttas that put up with it but we are only human huni, loving someone does something silly to our brain and we let them walk all over us,

we just need to be strong and try not to let these men keep walking in and out of ours and our lo's lives, they need to learn they cant have there cake and eat it too, its all or nothing, always here if you wanna chat huni

xXx

 

[shyfox1988]

I've been really missing my baby daddy the last couple of days, which is sooo stupid because he's rotten. But I think I miss the idea of him really. In my head I picture him being a wonderful caring father and friend and in reality he's a selfish prat who couldn't care less. I think it's just hard doing this on our own but it is important to remember these men are pigs and we are definately better off without them. We do deserve better. We definately do.

So my strategy is to just take a day at a time and anytime I feel lonely and feel like I want to contact him, I just call a friend instead. They end up making me feel happier than any words from him ever could.
xxx