Mixed emotions about ttc#2

[brittany12]

It took us 3 years to conceive DD and I love love her so much and I want to give her all of my attention! I have no doubt that I want another baby I just have so many emotions about it! Anyone else?

I'm excited, scared it'll take a long time, scared it'll happen first try, scared I will be in over my head with another baby, happy that my daughter will have a sibling, happy to have another baby to love, worried DD will feel like she isn't loved as much.. Just everything is up and down for me!

 

[TanyaW]

That is so normal. Even when I was pregnant with my second I thought I was a terrible person because there was no way I could love her as much as DD #1. Having a second child is harder than 1, not going to sugar coat it. Especially if you are like me and my DH, where we work so they don't go to daycare so we are typically alone with them. It feels like 1 is always getting neglected. However, they are 4 & 2 now and they adore each other. They play together all the time, cuddle etc. my 4 year old is always telling me she is her best friend. So as long as you are ready for #2 you'll be great! It's nerve racking though that's for sure

 

[itsnowmyturn]

I worry that my second won't be as easy to bring up as my daughter lol. I worry about being pregnant and having a toddler.

 

[M&S+Bump]

You will love all of your children. If like me, you will love them at different measures for different reasons (Joe is the first, my big boy, my independent, helping everyone else, fearless and no nonsense explorer, Nathaniel is my little boy, stubborn, sleepless, impossible, but so unbelievably cute and cuddly, everyone has commented that it's a good job he's so adorable or we'd all have strangled him by now, and Ella-bub is the baby princess, my long-awaited girl baby, she has everyone wrapped around her tiny little finger)

I love them all - but only having one, I couldn't have imagined the way I love the others - it might take away from the attention you pay each, but your heart is infinite. And they pay each other attention to make up for yours being diluted - the boys dote on their sister, play with each other - there's bickering but at least most of the time they occupy each other!

Mine were so close together (as a LTTTC-er, we didn't want to wait in case it took as long again - it didn't ) that none of them were old enough to remember or care about being the only - I'm a little worried this time round with them all being older but I'm sure it'll just be a new experience for us all

 

[krissie328]

I don't worry about not loving my second as much. I worry about coping with a toddler and pregnancy, then a newborn and finally two toddlers. I worry the second will be a meeting difficult baby/toddler and I will just be unable let to cope. I know I want a second, I'm just worried about the what ifs.

 

[alliec]

I think your feelings are totally normal! Any change in the family dynamic can be scary, no matter how exciting, and the addition of a whole new person is kind of as scary and exciting as it gets!

We are mentally gearing up to try for #2 in the next couple months and I am constantly torn between excitement and terror. I know that I will love them both so so much but I just don't know how I will handle having a young child and a newborn. My son's first three months were not my finest moments and I feel like I will be an even bigger mess the next time around.

Also, my son is the only grandchild right now and we are very close to our parents, so he is completely doted on, the absolute center of attention all the time. I am anxious about how he will react to sharing the spotlight with a sibling. I am of the opinion that a sibling is a gift but I don't know that toddlers necessarily see it that way

 

[brittany12]

Same here! My DD is the only grandchild too! And right now it's easy if we need to drop her off to be watched especially if I have to work but with 2?!? That's asking a bit more out of everyone.
Like I said I have no doubt I want more and I have set a date to help me, but life seems so easy with one (not that it's a piece of cake, but when comparing it to "oh my goodness why do you keep finding every little thing and eating it?" Or throwing that tantrum because she couldn't pick up the water bottle it seems easy. I couldn't imagine two doing this)
I know I'll adjust just fine, eventually

 

[icegurl470]

That is so normal. Even when I was pregnant with my second I thought I was a terrible person because there was no way I could love her as much as DD #1. Having a second child is harder than 1, not going to sugar coat it. Especially if you are like me and my DH, where we work so they don't go to daycare so we are typically alone with them. It feels like 1 is always getting neglected. However, they are 4 & 2 now and they adore each other. They play together all the time, cuddle etc. my 4 year old is always telling me she is her best friend. So as long as you are ready for #2 you'll be great! It's nerve racking though that's for sure

Ditto! If I was in your situation I would probably start trying for #2 asap because I wanted two close it age, but don't start trying unless your okay with it happening right away. With your history it probably wont, but you never know. Good luck

 

[sharnw]

Brittany this is how I felt too ;( my whole 2nd pregnancy. Although I wanted him so much, I always felt bad for Kaylee, but now she has a best friend and I can't believe I could love another human being after my first Bub. The love is equal

 

[brittany12]

Omg sharnw! How are you!?! Ttc again?!? Awesome!

Thanks lady! I know it'll all be fine eventually! I guess it also comes from a place of ltttc I have all these years of love built up for her, ya know?

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

I didn't try for a long time with my son but I feel all of the second about having another! It's stressful! Xx

 

[boobee]

We're thinking of trying for our second together in August/September and I have all those fears! I'm really excited but then I have pangs of guilt at the thought that my daughter won't get my full attention and how I don't want her to feel like she's not important enough! It's crazy ha ha!