MMC after taking 7 years to conceive...what now?

[Sparky67]

I posted this in the secondary infertility thread, but everyone appears to be over here, so I am reposting in the hopes of someone having an answer for us:

My OH and I got married 7 years ago, and started trying straight away. I have a 20 year old and he has a 12 year old from previous relationships, neither of which we had any difficulty in conceiving.

However, nothing happened for us. After a while we got some tests done, and a post coital test showed that I had killed off all his sperm, so we were told that I was hostile to him. We were told it would not be impossible to conceive, but very unlikely.

Anyway, after a few years we sort of got used to the idea it was never going to happen and got on with life.

However, completely out of the blue in February, we fell pregnant. I had a MMC at 9 weeks.

We have been completely thrown by this - we thought it was not possible for us to conceive, now we know it is. But, I am 42, mearly 43, and time is running out for us. We are definately thinking about trying again, but we are too old for assistance on the NHS and to be honest the odds of success are so small its not something I would want to consider paying for.

But - can we get a referral to anyone that could advise us on what we could do to maximise the chances, rather than full IUI/IVF? It's not necessarily as straightforward as just trying again - I haven't got 7 years to hit the jackpot again.

Can anyone advise whether we can get any help as this is all new to me? I am in the UK.

Thanks

 

[FBbaby]

Sparky, I was so sorry to read what you've been through How cruel of nature to give you a test of what you deed inside wanted so badly after you'd learnt to accept your fate to then take it away. I felt like screaming for you reading your thread.

I don't know really what else you can do but ask to be referred to investigate why you have been killing your OH sperm, but you might have already been through this before.

I think in your shoes I would hang on to pma though because it might very well be that the reason why you conceived is that whatever the problem was that meant you were not compatible has sorted itself now, and that your conception wasn't a miracle, but natural. Yes, in light of your age, it would take longer to conceive anyway but if indeed the initial problem has sorted itself out naturally, you are only in the same position than any other 42 years old trying to conceive (and in my books, with my grand mother giving birth to only child at 45 and my mum to my sister at 42, that's nothing exceptional).

Would you consider doing the post coital test again?

Good luck to you, I really hope Mother Nature surprises you again

 

[Sparky67]

I am going to try Preseed or Conception Plus, to see whether that sorts out my hostile CM. Of course, if I am hostile because I am producing antibodies, that also means that I would be more likely to MC. If it's just that my CM isn't up to scratch then its just the usual odds of conceiving and carrying a healthy baby at 42 years of age!!

Why is it the TV seems full of older mums who seem to have done this without a problem

 

[winegums]

hi there i'm really sorry to read your story! i didn't want to read and run. i was thinking if the pre seed or conceive+ sort out the hostile mucous would baby aspirin or small amounts of aspirin help to prevent mc?? xx

 

[BizyBee]

Sorry to hear about your loss. xx

 

[aussiettc]

didn't want to read and run but i dont think i can help. all fertility treatment has costs attatched in Australia. Mayber try a sperm friendly lubricant,thats all i can think of

 

[Sparky67]

Thanks for the comments - just need to wait for my first AF now...

 

[nina78]

I am so sorry to hear that. Unfortinately I can totally understand you. I was in a same situation like you. Maybe I am not trying for 7 years, but not too far from you. My DH and I have been TTC for now 4, going to 5 years.

Our diagnosis are "unexplained infertility", and were told that we have less then 1 % chance to fall pregnant. Well, we did IVF 2 yrs back and had a chemical pregnancy. But in all 4 years no natural pregnancy. However this past Februaru - just like you, we found out we were pregnant au naturel!!!!! We were estatic - I mean it was a miracle!!!!! Well, it didn't last too long - I m/c few days later. Little to say that I was pissed....I mean, why??? Why give me something and then take it away?!?!? It's just not fair!!!!!

Anyway, like you I really didn't need that. I mean after all these years I was finally at peace that I wasn't a mommy and then BAM! I wish I wasn't even pregnant.....it crushed me. I haven't been really the same ever since. So I totally feel your pain.

Since then, I did so much research on internet and I started taking this matter into my own hands. I don't know if it helps, but read about Royal Jelly. It does wonders to your body and also helps your eggs quality!!!
Also 5 days prior to your ovulation until O, take Robitussin (cough medicine). I know this sounds crazy, but it's not. You have the take the right kind with only one ingredient guaifenesin. It helps your cm and makes it more friendly for the "boys". Google it....you will find tons of articles.

At this point, I will try anything. This month I have requested to take Clomid to boost my chances and I am taking Robitussin. Don't think it will help - but you just never know.
If nothing happens - I am ready to have another IVF, but at least I know I've tried everything.

Again, I am so sorry about what hapenned, but I truly believe that one we'll get our miracle BFP. I am still waiting for my first baby......

Good luck....

 

[Sparky67]

Thanks for your kind words Nina - I don't know that I am having trouble ovulating - I wasn't when we were originally investigated, but at 42 I guess I might be now... I have heard that Clomid affects CM and as I know I already have a problem there, that's not a route I wanted to take.

I have heard about the cough medicine, but it always seems to come up with USA sites - I'm not sure whether you can get it in the UK. I think I will have to investigate further.

I hope things work for you too x

 

[momof4girls]

I am sooooo sorry for your loss, I know it hurts so bad especially after TTC for years.

I am in a similar situation I have very acidic CM it makes it nearly impossible for my DH's sperm to live for more then a few hours and some months I have no ewcm at all. its still creamy .

so my only way of letting them live is to do a baking soda douche about 40 min before we BD this washes away most of the hostle CM and then I use pasterized egg whites to give them something to swim to the egg. once they are past the cervix and into the uterus the CM can not affect them anymore. so the ideal thing to try would be IUI as this places them directly into the uterus. but if your not able or willing to try IUI , then you can try simply changing your PH/CM as I do. egg whites make the sperm thrive and they can get to the egg in as little as 30 min.
you may PM me if you want more detailed info. I dont wanna post TMI out in the open.

Also try not to let your age get you down ,I have many friends who are over 40 and pregnant one of my friends is 45 and pregnant with her 3rd her other two were also conceived in her 40's. you can try royal jelly /bee pollen to help egg quality.( do not take if your allergic to bees). also DHEA helps with egg quality .
and take lots of folic acid .

 

[Sparky67]

Thanks for the comments Lisa.

We were told we could try IUI when we were investigated because there were no problems except that the little swimmers just couldn't get from A to B. We never went the assisted route at that time, and had come to terms with that. But getting pregnant now has just turned all the emotions upsidedown again. But, at 42 the likelihood of IUI or IVF succeeding is sooooo small (unless you used donor eggs), that it really doesn't make financial sense to even try.

I guess the egg white thing is the same as using Preseed or Conception Plus - it adds a friendly CM-like substance for the swimmers to swim through/survive in for longer?

I feel like I am in a race against time to try and discover all the information we need to maximise our chances!

 

[Omi]

Hi hun,

just wanted to say sorry for your loss and that i can very much understand how you are feeling. I turned 40 in March and also feel the pressure of time running out. This month i bought pressed and zestica (i have also tried eggwhites in the past). I will probably get conception plus as its supposed to have minerals that help the swimmers actually penetrate the egg, and im all for all and any help i can get. Having said that i don't actually have any probs in the cm department but i thought any extra boost for the swimmers can only be a good thing seeing as don't have that many eggs left

I have thought about clomid (in fact have some in the house - did not get it from docs! ). But i have since read a lot on clomid for women over 40 and its not reassuring. Something about egg reserve and i cannot afford to lose anymore as it is. I guess its ok if you're on it for ivf etc but as don't qualify (and ovulate on own - confirmed by docs) im gonna give that a miss for now.

The cough medicine is easy to get hold of. Just look for one that has guaifenesin as the main ingredient and 100mg per spoon. I once bought a bottle of 'adult chesty cough syrup' from tesco's that will do the job. You will have to take quite a bit of it but hey, it is really supposed to help

I really don't bother with lots of smoke and mirrors anymore (fed up!) but i do take a pre natal, b complex and epo everyday. I also use the cbfm and the occasional opk. My main objective is to get the bd'ing in before i ov, ideally 2 days before as that has the highest conception rate, believe it or not.

All the best hun and good luck to us all!

Omi xxx

 

[Sparky67]

I think with hostile CM that it must be even more important to get the BD timing right - the egg is only around for 24 hours, but sperm can usually hang around a few days waiting, but with me it doesn't. Therefore I conclude it must be more important to BD at the time when the egg is there so the swimmers don't have to hang around. If one can sprint through and the prize is waiting...!?

 

[Omi]

I see what you mean. Well to be honest..i still try to do the 2, 1 days before ov and ov day itself, trying being the operative word, lol! failed miserably this month though

I'd definitely stock up on some strong epo, apparently 1500 to 3000mg a day until ov (boots sells it i noticed) and perhaps something like pressed (or eggwhites if saving pennies ) and the cough syrup?

Omi xxx

 

[momof4girls]

try not to get so down about your age so many women are having babys in their 40's now. and with their own eggs. there are supplements out there that will help with egg quality.

and for replacing hostel CM. I think pasterized egg whites are better then preseed because egg whites have a higher PH then preseed. they are also much less expensive.

 

[Greta]

Hi Sparky, I am 41 and after one IVF failure am going try ICSI soon. However, you should be able to try straight IVF as it seems you don't have any sperm or fertilization issues. I know IVF seems daunting, but if you want a baby this much, I think you should consider it. I am going do a short protocl next time, which is often suggested for older ladies. It is 14 days of injecting drugs and then Egg collection and transfer if it works. Yes it is stressful and a strain on your relationship, as you will see by my other post! But saying that I thought the injecting was OK before and I didn't get many symptoms. However, I realise I am lucky in this. But it means your chance of success goes up from about 5% or under each month at your age to about 10 to 15%. Anyway, good luck whatever you decide. xx