MMC situation

[Holly82]

Sorry, this will probably be more of a rant then anything.

So it’s looking like I’ve more than likely had a missed miscarriage. Had an nhs scan at 6+6 weeks, showed only 5-6 week pregnancy. Was told I’d be rescanned in two ‘long’ weeks later. Ten days later I decide to pay for a private scan as I had a couple of episodes of very light spotting. Scan doesn’t look good, I’m measuring 6+2 and no heartbeat, totally gutted and so is other half, we both had two days of been completely gutted and devastated. We decided to just not think about things and just wait and see what happens. Went for my second nhs scan(on my birthday) at what would be 8+6, there showed some more growth, but only a small amount compared with the private scan, still no hb. We are told because there is growth between the first and second nhs scans we have wait another week.

The last scan was last Monday (Thursday now) and I’m fed up of buring my feelings and I’m so fed up of this dragging on and on. OH told him Mum, gran, teenage daughter, brother and his partner almost straight away, so we are pretending everything is ok at the moment and trying to smile at the pregnancy comments. although his mother has been kept in the loop so she’s aware. OH doesn’t want to tell anyone else the situation as he’s heartbroken and doesn’t really know how he’s gonna break the news.

I’ve not told anyone except my teenage daughters, who were not even happy. I’ve now had to explain what’s been happening, to which they don’t really care or are relieved.

I’m just sick of everything today, it’s like it’s all hit me again and I just want the bleeding to start or something! I’ve been tempted just to call the midwife and get them to do something. Sick to death of waiting! Fed up of pretending this isn’t happening. I’ve got no one to talk to, don’t want to bring this up with OH as it will just upset him more.

I’ve never had a mmc and I feel like it’s my fault, though I know it’s not.

I’m supposed to be looking for a new job, but everything feels like it’s on hold until this is over with. Don’t even know how I’m gonna be after all this

Fed up

 

[SmartieMeUp]

It is never your fault, and keep telling yourself that! The worst you can do is blame yourself. It just "happens". Don't wish it upon yourself, in case the pregnancy is viable because you will most likely blame yourself and feel guilt further down the line.

Don't let the HB phase you, they aren't always visible so early which is why many scan around 8-9 weeks as opposed to 6. It could still be

Had they not tested your betas at all for HCG level increase/decrease at all? It will give more of a definitive answer than prolonging the agonising wait.

 

[Holly82]

Thank you for replying xxx

I know what you are saying about the scans, but surely I would of seen something at either two of the last scans? Finding it hard to believe that it will develop anymore, next scan is tomorrow.

One thing I don’t understand is that I’m still having sickness, it’s been particularly worse this afternoon. If it’s not growing why am I still feeling like this?

No they have not said about testing hcg levels, although I will ask when I have my appointment tomorrow x