Modern Childhoods - A Disservice to Children

[Lightworker]

Hi all. I was just thinking about my own childhood and how it differs to my DD1s childhood, and whether or not I am short-changing her iykwim?
Basically, my childhood, when not at school, was spent 99% outdoors. We lived in a gated community so it was fairly safe, and had loads of children of wide age ranges so you always had a buddy(buddies). We played innovative games like mom and dad, made our own toys out of milk cartons and cones etc etc. We also played games I don't see any more like hide and seek, rounders, stuck in the mud, etc.

We were only indoors for meals, and the half hour that they showed cartoons. Luckily the weather was great so rarely any rain, or not enough to prevent us from being outside.

My DD1s childhood is different. When she is not at school, she is at home, out in the garden if weather permits, or in the park onthe swings etc. She generally will play with me, or lo or DH or alone. She has ready made toys, although she has never really been a afan of conventional toys, more into outdoorsy things and arts and crafts than actual toys.

My question is, with all this modern toys and lifestyles, do you think our children will be better of than us, or vice versa. Also interested to know what your childhoods were like. x

 

[robinator]

This is a tough one; there are pros and cons with each. My childhood sounds a lot like yours; making high-heeled shoes out of toilet paper rolls, building roads in the ditch for our hot wheels, spending a ton of time outside and very little TV time. I grew up pretty well rounded and it taught me to be able to come up with my own distractions and entertainment (something I'm still good at!). Spending next to no time in front of the TV also helped build communication skills, both with friends and family.

I don't have a child yet, so it is easy to be an armchair quarterback, but I think some of the technology kids have today does them a disservice: being parked in front of the TV, either zoning out or gaining weight playing video games. It doesn't encourage interaction with others, or to use their imaginations. My mom also cooked a lot; we rarely went out to eat: nowadays with all the shuttling to and fro from all the extracurriculars, kids might just be eating fast food in the backseat and not getting that valuable family dinner time.

On the other hand, technology does do wonders for kids these days; my friends kids are 6 & 3 and have been learning both Spanish and Chinese on their computers (supplemented with classroom), and are both getting quite good at them!

It sucks these days that you have to arrange "playdates" for your kids; when i was growing up you'd just play in your front yard and eventually other kids would show up.

It's also too bad that in order to finance all these toys and nonessential activities, parents are forced to work more than they did then and don't always get to spend a lot of time with their kids.

 

[vaniilla]

I moved to england when I was 7, before that I lived in Italy, we never used to lock the front door and we knew everyone in the street, all of our relatives lived a bus ride away and my grandparents used to live with us, I used to spend 90% of the time out playing with the neighborhood kids or at each others houses, we used to meet up in the mornings and all walk to school together with one of our parents (they used to take it in turns) and we'd walk back together, when there was a birthday or any kind of party the whole street would be there along with family and it'd be a big gathering, since moving here we've only ever been close to 1 neighbour, we've got no idea who lives on our street/what they're like or see many kids playing outside its really sad, it used to be nice to be part of a community but here people are a lot more reserved I guess, I I wish Rowan could have a similar upbringing but its not that possible here.

 

[hb1]

I think there is a little with today's lifestyles but I also wonder do we idealise/romantacise our childhoods? For those of us who were lucky to have good childhoods looking back and getting that golden glow thinking about those halycien days of time gone past?

Also - as parents can we encourage greater creativity, communication etc so our children have the well rounded, fulfilling childhood we would like them to have? Is it down to us to make the right choices early on and not rely on these things?

Additionally - this technology is part of the future world that our children are growing in to - and it is a fast moving world - so they need to be equipped with the skills to be successful - or do they?

It's a mine-field is what it is - how do you get the balance right for your child and your family with all the pressures we have now - it's a toughy!!

hx

 

[Blah11]

I certaintly didnt go without anything when I was little and I didnt spend 9am-8pm outdoors cept for meals and I turned out fine. I had lots of toys, a tv with cable etc etc Amelie has a great imagination already. She has loads of toys but today she drew a 'map' and we went on a treasure hunt. Other than the map, we had no props and when we found the treasure, apparently it was chocolate coins and we sat and had a cuddle and 'ate' them, haha.

 

[thedog]

I spent alot of time outdoors and indoors 50/50 really, if it was raining we'd all play upstairs on the computer or with our toys etc, never did me any harm! These days its just not safe to let your kids roam about everywhere, its on the news every week someone goes missing or has been murdered! So in the grand scheme of things i won't feel guilty about keeping an eye on LO when he wants to go out and about with his friends, he'l be having a mobile phone too

 

[indy and lara]

I really don't believe we live in a society where children are abducted more than they were 30 years ago when I was a kid. It is just reported more and the dawning of 24 hour a day news reporting has brought a lot of these stories to the fore. I grew up close to where Caroline Hogg was abducted and murdered in 1983. I was 8 then and I remember how frightened people were but kids still played out.

My childhood was a happy one so maybe you do have rose tinted glasses? I played out most of the time, all year round. I also played indoors- lots of imaginative play and board games. It was in the years before games consoles and TVs in your bedroom so we all were pretty active.

It is worth remembering also the food and nutrition was thought differently then too. We always had rules of 1 packet of crisps and 1 biscuit/ sweetie a day but these were not imposed by my Mum because of a fear of obesity or nutritional guidleines, more that eating more meant I wouldn't eat my tea!

With Emma we try to keep things as simple as possible and give her as much freedom as we can. If people are not happy letting their kids play out on their own then I wonder why they don't go out where they can see them?

 

[Natsku]

I spent probably an equal amount of time inside and out. Had a huge garden to play in with trees to climb, and went rollerskating on the drive way and round the church next door, and I was a little bigger on the streets and carparks nearby. But I also played on the computer inside (MSX, those were the days ) and played board games and cards with my family and I was a bookworm so spent a lot of time reading, or just playing by myself in my room. It was different when we were on holiday, then me and my brother would spend 90% of our time outside exploring by ourselves and our parents weren't worried about anything happening to us.
We spent a lot of time together as a family too which was very nice. (big family, there were 7 of us)

I hope that Maria would get a lot of chance to play outdoors so I'm hoping to move to the countryside soon as its not so easy in the city, and I want to allow her to explore her surroundings independently (or with her brothers and sisters if she gets some). Don't really worry about abductions and murders and that, real crime rates haven't changed much, and this is a very safe country anyway.

Hide and seek is very much in existence here though! I spent most of my holiday playing hide and seek with my 3 year old cousin! I think she is getting a good childhood too, she would play outdoors happily a lot and her dad wasn't worried about letting her run off outside by herself because she knew she wasn't allowed on the road alone (I think that rule got implemented more strictly after she decided to ride her tricycle naked down the main road at home )

 

[smelly07]

My childhood was the same..........i was outside ALL THE TIME..........and we wouldn't just be 'out the front' we would go all over the town (once a little older)
we would play games like 40/40, runouts, football rounders, knockouts, LOADS OF THINGS........ there were lots of parks around the place and adventure playgrounds and paddling pools dotted about our town...all children in the street would play out and we would go home when the LAMP POST LIGHTS CAME ON!!!!

i LOVED my childhood... all i remember up until age 13 (when i considered myself too old to play out side') was laughing ...lots of laughter...and i cant imagine it comparing to being stuck indoors or only going outside with my mum watching me

i feel sorry that my eldest daughter wont have a childhood like mine she is 6 now and i let her play outside the front of our house with the other kids in the street but that no way compares to my childhood.
All my friends feel the same all of us back then seemed to be out in the big wide world unlike children today.

i agree with indy and lara
its no more safer today than it was back in the 80's when i was a kid.

kids need to be kids.... i believe we need to let them have as much independence as safely possible. x

 

[KatieB]

I have to say my childhood was idyllic for me. We lived in a cul-de-sac and all the children played with one another every night, summer evenings were spent playing bulldog, blocky, bikes up and down the street (we were never allowed out of the cul-de-sac and we behaved and never broke that rule), water fights, rollerboots and skipping games, having trimball competitions with friends (does anyone remember these!), planning midnight walks with my best friend when we slept over at each other's houses (obviously we never got past the locked front door, ha) Then again, this was the 1980s and the parents drove slowly down the street (not that there were half as many cars about anyway) and we all looked out for each other. Hubba bubba and Top Deck shandy pop, lol, those were the days! I can honestly say we were hardly ever in, certainly TV was a treat. I think it's such a shame that children are starved of a lot of this these days, I think bad things have always happened but you hear about them more now. I hope to give Louis a childhood where he can enjoy playing outside but think it's very hard nowadays tbh.

 

[lynnikins]

i think it is a pity that my kids arent getting the upbringing i had, for a variety of reasons its not possible for us, i encourage alot of imagination play and creativity and playing in the garden and trips to the playground but our back lawn isnt even half as big as the front lawn of the house i grew up in so no real play area. my kids also dont have cousins around to play with or alot of friends they see each week let alone each day!. im hoping we can improve things and move back closer to family so my kids get more of that kind of thing, my OH grew up mostly in the UK and spent most of his time indoors so doesnt see as much as i do what the boys are missing out on

 

[hb1]

I have to say my childhood was idyllic for me. We lived in a cul-de-sac and all the children played with one another every night, summer evenings were spent playing bulldog, blocky, bikes up and down the street (we were never allowed out of the cul-de-sac and we behaved and never broke that rule), water fights, rollerboots and skipping games, having trimball competitions with friends (does anyone remember these!), planning midnight walks with my best friend when we slept over at each other's houses (obviously we never got past the locked front door, ha) Then again, this was the 1980s and the parents drove slowly down the street (not that there were half as many cars about anyway) and we all looked out for each other. Hubba bubba and Top Deck shandy pop, lol, those were the days! I can honestly say we were hardly ever in, certainly TV was a treat. I think it's such a shame that children are starved of a lot of this these days, I think bad things have always happened but you hear about them more now. I hope to give Louis a childhood where he can enjoy playing outside but think it's very hard nowadays tbh.

Sorry but this reminded me of a funny GLC tune ( NB THIS TUNE MIGHT OFFEND!! )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxnZtKd0hA

hx
hx

 

[KatieB]

I have to say my childhood was idyllic for me. We lived in a cul-de-sac and all the children played with one another every night, summer evenings were spent playing bulldog, blocky, bikes up and down the street (we were never allowed out of the cul-de-sac and we behaved and never broke that rule), water fights, rollerboots and skipping games, having trimball competitions with friends (does anyone remember these!), planning midnight walks with my best friend when we slept over at each other's houses (obviously we never got past the locked front door, ha) Then again, this was the 1980s and the parents drove slowly down the street (not that there were half as many cars about anyway) and we all looked out for each other. Hubba bubba and Top Deck shandy pop, lol, those were the days! I can honestly say we were hardly ever in, certainly TV was a treat. I think it's such a shame that children are starved of a lot of this these days, I think bad things have always happened but you hear about them more now. I hope to give Louis a childhood where he can enjoy playing outside but think it's very hard nowadays tbh.

Sorry but this reminded me of a funny GLC tune ( NB THIS TUNE MIGHT OFFEND!! )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxnZtKd0hA

hx
hx

LOVE IT! It was respectable in the 80s dontcha know

 

[Blah11]

there are loads of kids who play out in the streets here. I dunno if id let amelie go out of my culdesac though and not unsupervised until shes atleast 7 or 8.

 

[marley2580]

I'm determined to give my kids the freedom they should have (within reason). I let Kaya (almost 4) play on her bike out the front, I let both of them play out the front when I'm there, they play in the back garden on their own, I try to hang back when we're at the park and not hover, etc.

 

[PeanutBean]

I was born in '79 and grew up not far from where I live now in a sizeable village further out into the countryside from where I live now. My oldest is only 2 so it's hard to compare with what I remember from my childhood but I would certainly say that ad a family we are much better off than my family was when I was a child. I am the youngest of 4 and my parents struggled to keep us all in shoes. We wore handmedowna from our siblings and my mum made a lot of our clothes. A big part of the difference is the relative cost of these items but undoubtedly my parents were on a smaller relative income.

I played out a lot too, played lots of make-believe games but also with Lego, mechano, fuzzy felts and Sindy. Most of my friends had more toys than me and more modern expensive stuff like barbie and my little ponies but I didn't like them much anyway. I played with children who lived near me and walked to school with friends from about 8 years old. Our holidays were all in the UK usually visiting historical buildings.

DH and I have only been abroad once, for our honeymoon, and I can't see us affording to go as a family any time soon. We take the kids out every day walking the dog. Byron benefits from nursery (my mum didn't work outside the home til I was 8). We go to National Trust properties and on holidays in the UK camping or on day trips. Byron goes to toddler groups now I'm on mat leave and on weekends we always take him somewhere even if it's just a trip swimming or on the miniature railway (plus dogwalks). We do creative things at home when there's time. He watches a fair bit of TV when we're in the house but so did I as a kid. He has loads of books and toys he can pretend with like happyland. He loves looking for insects in the garden.

When the kids are older I don't see a problem with them playing out on their own. What age will depend where we live then. Here we're next to a pretty dodgy council estate and are on a busy road with joyriders and trucks so it's not great. I don't worry about abduction or whatever but I do worry about traffic - something that has most definitely increased in volume and danger since I was a child. From what my mum has said it sounds like there is way more to do with kids today than there was 30 years ago. I think society as a whole is much more considerate about children and families in terms of things to do.

I think we do lots for Byron (Indigo is too young for this discussion really!) and he has a great balance of interests and activities in his life. I definitely don't think he is worse off or that my childhood was more idyllic. I'm more worried that he will be spoilt, especially by DH! But going to nursery has really helped him with not being selfish about possessions and it won't be long before be shares everything with his sister.

 

[xolily]

i think our children miss out on the adventure and exploring side of things. when i was little (i'm only 24 so not long ago) we were allowed out and about on our own from quite a young age, building dens in the woods etc. nowadays it wouldn't happen! there's too many what ifs. i don't know whether the world IS a more dangerous place nowadays but we seem to think so! i'm scared to let Laila go to nursery, i can only imagine what i'm gonna be like when she wants to play out with her friends!

 

[Zooy]

I was thinking that I didn't really play outside as a kid but I definately was outside or with friends any chance I could get.
When I picked this apt, I made sure that I could see the park from our balcony so that if we ever decided to have kids that they could play in the park and I could see them. There are lots of kids who are outside every day until it gets dark so I'm looking forward to letting him go outside and play in 5 or 6 years.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I dont think my 2 have it worse than I did, I mean its sad they dont have the freedom I had but then again they have alot more that I didn't have.

I used to play outside alot but not ALL day, My mum and dad used to take us out a fair bit and I dont remember spending lots of time outside just "free time" really??

I had to share a room and hated it so glad that mine do not have too. I also moved away from where I grew up and I now live in the national park and we walk at least an hour in the forest each day (normally more like 3 hours). So in that side of things I feel like they are better off.

I feel like I had a great childhood x