Mom forcing son to drink hot sauce as punishment

[DLA]

This mom was charged with child abuse after she sent a home video to Dr. Phil showing her forcing her son to drink hot sauce and get in a cold bath as a "punishment". What I was astonished by is the article I just read:

https://www.parentdish.com/2011/02/01/drink-hot-sauce/

by Tom Henderson claiming it's not child abuse, children in 30's and 40's had it like that and they are "fine". Now am I being over sensitive? I don't care how it was "back then", does that make it OK or right now? I am curious to read other's opinions as to what constitutes child abuse.

Personally, from the video I saw on this mom, I think it's cruel and would consider it child abuse.

 

[ahcigar1]

I think what she did is a bit extreme but I think some forms of punishment are ok. Such as when I was growing up and I said a bad word she would wash my mouth out with soap essentially by making me hold a bar of it in my mouth for some minutes. And I had a horrible habbit of sucking on my thumb so she would put hot sauce on them to get me to stop a few times a day. So basically anytime I put my thumb in my mouth I would regret it. Things like this I find ok, but this mother took it to the extreme I think and much farther than needed to go.

 

[xemmax]

After actually seeing the video of this "mother" forcing her child to take freezing cold showers and swill hot sauce around his mouth for a minute or two, I would definitely say the behaviour was abusive and absolutely heartbreaking to watch. She had absolutely no boundaries, she had totally lost sight of what was acceptable, she showed no empathy for the boy who was hysterically crying and apologising and she demonstrated that she had absolutely no control of him, herself or of the situation.

She gave the child hot sauce because she knew it hurt, she made him take cold showers because she knew that it was so displeasurable that it hurt, she deliberately did those things as a way of punishing bad behaviour. I believe she also did them as a way of asserting her power over the child by instilling fear into him. THAT is what makes it child abuse.

 

[thedog]

That is definitely abusive, no doubt about it! vile people!!!!

 

[Eternal]

It sounds more like abuse to me than discipline.

 

[Lightworker]

I think she needs therapy.

 

[tallybee]

I am with xemmax on this one.

 

[mrs_park]

I saw the show on Dr Phil and found it disgusting. It's cruel, abusive behavior even down to the way she spoke the him. Poor little man

I love the fact that Dr Phils wife who never normally says anything even felt the need to say something to this woman.

 

[KatieB]

After actually seeing the video of this "mother" forcing her child to take freezing cold showers and swill hot sauce around his mouth for a minute or two, I would definitely say the behaviour was abusive and absolutely heartbreaking to watch. She had absolutely no boundaries, she had totally lost sight of what was acceptable, she showed no empathy for the boy who was hysterically crying and apologising and she demonstrated that she had absolutely no control of him, herself or of the situation.

She gave the child hot sauce because she knew it hurt, she made him take cold showers because she knew that it was so displeasurable that it hurt, she deliberately did those things as a way of punishing bad behaviour. I believe she also did them as a way of asserting her power over the child by instilling fear into him. THAT is what makes it child abuse.

Couldn't have said it better myself, so well put. I also find it disturbing that she was allowed to adopt when there are so many people out there who would give anything to be able to adopt a child and would never treat them in this despicable way.

 

[Nibblenic]

She asked for help, was judged and sent to jail.

What she did was cruel, horrid, disgusting so far out of normal behaviour. But she asked for help,] she was dismissed and punished in the worst way any mother can be by having her child removed. She admitted to being out of control and sort out guidance.

What message does that send to all the other mums who arent doing a good job, know they arent and were thinking about asking for help? What is going to happen to those children now it has become even more of a dark secret?

 

[Lightworker]

^ Yeah thats my worry as well. While what she did was awful, being a parent is so hard sometimes, moreso in modern society where there are so many other pressures. I know lots of moms would find it hard to ask for help ordinarily, now what more if they know this is what happens when you do ask for help.

People are now just going to be "keeping up appearances" whilst deteriorating further. I think we need alot more support for moms, and also alot more public acknowledgement of the fact that motherhood is not easy for everyone. Yes some take to it like ducks to water, but for those that don't, we need to see that it is ok to struggle, and that there is help available out there, without the associated stigma.

 

[JASMAK]

it's disgusting.

 

[aragornlover8]

I agree that it's a shame that she sought out help and was instead greeted with a lot of legal trouble.

The thing that really bothers me about this case, though, is the comments that I've read on a lot of the articles surrounding it. People saying things like "this is the reason our society is the way it is now. people aren't allowed to punish their children." The total ignorance surrounding a lot of corporal punishment techniques is scary to me. No one looks at any kind of psychological literature, they just assume - if this is the way it's been for years, it must work, right?

 

[Laura2919]

She asked for help, was judged and sent to jail.

What she did was cruel, horrid, disgusting so far out of normal behaviour. But she asked for help,] she was dismissed and punished in the worst way any mother can be by having her child removed. She admitted to being out of control and sort out guidance.

What message does that send to all the other mums who arent doing a good job, know they arent and were thinking about asking for help? What is going to happen to those children now it has become even more of a dark secret?

I agree its really sad. She knew she did wrong and she asked for help.

I dont condone what she did, I do think it was abuse and I would never ever do that to my children but she knew that herself and she wanted to change that behaviour.

 

[Jess137]

I saw the videos of this woman. I don't *agree* with hot saucing, but I can sort of understand it being used as a punishment (or the reasoning behind it), similar to "washing your mouth out with soap". However cold showers have been used as TORTURE, I don't think that a cold shower is an appropriate punishment for a child.

 

[Lightworker]

Do people actually wash mouths out with soap?

 

[aragornlover8]

Do people actually wash mouths out with soap?

My mom did it to me a few times. I never had to *eat* the soap, I just had to leave it in my mouth for a few minutes before spitting it out.

 

[kirmal12]

Do people actually wash mouths out with soap?

Yes, i still remember it now. It was the first time i swore in front of my Mother, i was just copying words from my next door neighbour. I must have been around 7 at a guess, i never did it again!.

 

[Jess137]

I was threatened with it but I never actually had to put soap in my mouth.

 

[mrs_park]

I was threatened with my mouth washed out with soap but never actually happened.

I had friends growing up that had to heat fresh chilli when they were naughty