MOM takes FOBS Side about calling me a B***

[jaytee146]

fob popped up and asked could he come in.. something told me to turn him away for just popping up. He comes in and finishes giving lo a bath. He tells me he wants to talk to me.. He was suppose to watch lo at my house tomorrow, based on what happened last time ( him not answering the phone, lo running a fever, and having a inexplainable cut on her hand) I had made up in my mind I was gonna take the carseat and I tell him since he couldn't answer the phone or text to let me know she was ok the next time he spends time with her she'll be old enough to call me and say mom I'm ok, to ensure he couldn't run off with our daughter. After I shared this with him he snapped, started pointing his finger in my face and cursing at me... I tell him to leave my house, and I close the door... He starts banging on the door.. And I answer again with the screen door locked. and he explains how dumb I am for saying I wouldn't leave a carseat.. that if an emergency happens at his house he needs to have it to leave. I said well I would hope that you call me so I could come get our child while you handle your business.... he mumbles bitch for the third time, and ask me could he talk to my mother... I say whatever and close the door.. I packed a bag to go to my mom's after calling and explaining what happened.. she said ok.. after i get packed... drive over to my mom's fob is over there knocking on the door and about to leave.. when he sees me he gets out his car and runs to me telling me we need to talk and I need to take lo in the house right now... I never went outside...... He calls my mom sobbing and telling her how much of a bad mom I am and how I'm using lo to get back at him.. do you know my mom called me and I gave her a run down of the things he's been saying to me... My mom took his side over mine........... I'm crushed It's bad enough to me that I'm afraid of fob but to hear my mom took his side over mine crushes me beyond belief. I want her to understand that it's not okay with me he fob won't tell me where his house is, that fob will only hint and tell me straight out I'm not allowed there... why should I send my child with you then??? I told him I honestly don't want you in my home but out of respect for our daughter I want you to come and spend time with her, and if you want to take her anywhere I willget ready so all three of us can go.... I explained how i felt not knowing where lo was and that she was running a fever and the only thing he could say was bring up the fact that I would not tell him where lo went to daycare out of fear that he would go to the womans house and cause problems..... I don't know why he scares me.... I could be the years of verbal abuse or when he put his hands on me but honestly.. he gets loud and tries to scared and threaten me to do what he wants... I say no but I always think gosh I hope this guy doesn't kill me.... What kinda way is that to live? I just wish my mom would understand....

 

[ravenmel]

This sounds messy, you guys need to get it together for the baby and if I remember correctly your pregnant for him again? So you don't need to be stressing out, it's not good for you or the unborn baby.

I think the situation blew up coz you told him he has to come to your home to see the baby. If he's hell to be around(and he might feel that way about you too) why would you have him there? Doesn't be have a mum,aunt or sister where you can tell him he can only have the child that their. I understand not sending the child to his house if you don't know where his lives 100% no way, but there must be somewhere else.Please don't start playing his games (not telling him childs info) coz it sounds very tit for tat if it ends up in court you'll look as bad as him. I'd say try a mutual drop off point, a friend or his family not ideal but better then cutting him off or him coming to your house and be very careful coz this sounds like it will end up down the court route and contact centres etc.

As for your mum maybe she doesn't understand the whole picture. Does she know he abused you mentally and physically? Is she an old fashion person you know don't break up the family no matter what kinda person,sometime people are suck in their ways. It's hard when your going through a difficult time and people close to you don't understand or see your point of view. What I've learn is if they don't get it now somewhere down the line they will, especially when your ex sounds them his true colours.


agree that you need to know where he lives or you can stop her going to his house.